Second loss due to commence at some point. :(

[1moregirl]

Well....it looks like it wasn't Goldie the Golden egg that I caught just recently anyway. I went to my GP today and got my beta level from yesterday's blood test and it was only 64. I was 19DPO yesterday and my first draw at 13DPO was 50. The GP said it wasn't a good sign and she expected my level to be around 500 by now so I have lost hope. That accompanied with my fainter HPTs each day. It really looks like time (I'm 44) and good quality eggs are really out for me. I've been soooo upset and sad today. Regardless of how detached and unexcited I had been about this latest positive pregnancy test, I somehow must've been subconsciously excited. I'm wishing my beta number was lower than 50 right now so we could just get the bleeding and period thing started and over and done with. I just don't want to have this prolonged and end up withhen nightmare that I had last year with haemorrhaging. I'm only about 4weeks4days - anyone know when the bleeding will start. Do your beta levels have to go back to zero before the bleeding starts? This sucks soooo much and was my last chance for a Summer baby.

[Dreamsister]

Oh no, that sucks. I am so sorry that it did not work out. Hopefully you are lucky next time. This swaying game is certainly a risky business.


DS1 (9) ❤️ DS2 (8) DS3 (5) ❤️ DW (41) DH (38) TTC'ing pink from May 2016

[Pinkbutterfly16]

I am so sorry 1moregirl. The pain from my recent miscarriage is still raw so I know exactly how you feel. Hugs xx


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[Faithinpink]

Iam really sorry 1moregirl.
Sending huge hugs xo

[purple]

Sorry again for your loss

I think the "detached and unexcited" feelings you had were probably an attempt to protect yourself from getting excited incase this happened. Unfortunately it doesn't really work and you still end up being devastated.

I posted in your other thread about my experience after my hemorrhage miscarriage. I would think you should be ok being quite early still.

[sharon]

im so sorry , no my bleeding started during my mc when my beta was at 600 odds! So your bleeding should start anytime im sorry

[bigbump]

So sorry 1moregirl.


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[atomic sagebrush]

I'm sorry, yes I agree not lookning good.

It's very unlikely that you'll have the same thing happen again. You're much earlier on and you aren't on all the blood thinners you were before.

No one can predict when bleeding will start, unfortunately it seems different for everyone and there is no strong correlation between betas and bleeding. Some people are done bleeding but betas still up, others don't start till at zero.

Thinking of you.

[familymatters]

So sorry to read this 1moregirl I hope it's over for you quickly.

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[1moregirl]

Thankyou for your support and comforting words ladies. No bleeding as yet so still waiting....I had my appointment with Ob/gyn/FS today and he was lovely. He told me to disregard any HPTs and just go by beta levels. He said also that tomorrow's beta blood draw will be the determining one. If it was in the 200s we might have a chance, but if it's less than that, or clearly the same or lower than 64, then obviously it's game over. My progesterone and all other levels looked great he said and scan showed good thickening. But...I am prepared for the worst and I know there's no hope. Even as I type this message I can feel period type pains in my lower back and tummy - they just keep coming and going. I didn't have this with my successful pregnancies. Even the one last year where I miscarried. I just got AF cramps around the time AF was due, but obviously no bleeding arrived, and then they went away. I never had any more of those type cramps til later on with BH pains and labour pains....so I knew something was wrong this time when I am well past when AF was due and still getting these cramps on and off. It was tough sitting in the waiting room this morning though....one older Mum with a little newborn in a capsule and another older Mum sporting a big baby belly. I almost felt like asking them how they managed to get there, but of course I didn't. Anyway, I have not shed any tears today. I have had this strange inner sense of peace and acceptance today...I'm still undecided though as to whether or not I will try again. I don't want to experience quite a few more losses and eventually having to accept one last live healthy baby is not on the cards for me. How do you know when enough is enough? I know even my own mother thought I was stupid for even considering trying again after my miscarriage last year because of my 'age'. I don't know.....but I'm off to bed. Hopefully I don't wake up in the morning again remembering I'm pregnant, but then, oops...that's right, I'm not any more...and then that awful dread feeling and butterflies in the tummy.