Who has lost a twin?

[nini]

I posted here when I had a bleed in week 15. some weeks later, at my 20 week scan the tech confirmed that it looks like some amniotic fluid had leaked or at least part of the amniotic sac was detached from the wall. Today I saw another senior specialist to check out the current situation (I am 29 weeks) and he said everything he has seen, what I told him and from his experience he is convinced that it was a twin pregnancy!!! That basically the other twin most likely didnt even implant (chemical) or possibly implant but was lost really early on. He said this is not unlikely and more probable than a real hole in the amniotic sac, which happens very rarely and usually ends less positive.

Although he confirmed that everything was great with the current pregnancy and I was taken off high risk status, I am shocked. I had to cry after leaving the hospital. I have always hoped for twins. I am now convinced the other baby was the twin sister that I had hoped my little new boy would bring along.

Anyone that has lost a twin early on, what is your experience? I realise a lot of women dont even know about the twin, but to those that knew, what was it like?

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi nini,

I've written about this before so if I'm repeating myself I apologize!

When I was TTC DS 4, I was breastfeeding and my cycle had not yet returned. I had what I believed to be a perfectly normal, even a bit heavy period that lasted a couple days longer than my cycle typically does and I started swaying with a strict diet and taking vitex (did not take a pregnancy test because I felt like I didn't need to.)

I went in at 13 weeks for an ultrasound because I was measuring large for dates and had had some spotting off and on. I was shocked by how well developed my baby was, I was like "I thought it would look more like a fish or alien, but it already looks like a baby!" and the tech was like, 'I think you're a little further along than you think.' And the horror set in because I had been pg while I was swaying the entire time. At the same ultrasound they discovered that I had an extra part of my placenta that was right over my cervix and we assumed that had caused the bleeding.

Later on they realized that it wasn't an extra lobe of placenta, it was an entirely different placenta not at all connected to the first one, and the only thing that can make that happen is a second baby. So the bleeding I had was my baby passing but for some reason the placenta stayed behind and kept growing. I had/have a lot of guilt about that because I was so happy and excited because I thought I could start swaying when really my poor baby was gone and it was as if I didn't even care.

Like you nini, I had always hoped for twins (really more than a girl, even). My uncles are twins and both my mom and grandma always held it out that I would probably have twins someday. It was hard to take. I was also a high risk pregnancy because the other placenta was still on my cervix - I was never on full bed rest but I couldn't have sex and I had to have someone with me at all times in case of hemmorrhage. Plus, two placentas made me gain a ton of weight (I guess the hormones released from your placentas can raise blood sugar) and I gained almost 80 lbs. Not until 36 weeks did it finally move enough so they let me have a trial labor, with the understanding that I still may have to have a c-section. Because the baby's head couldn't really push down on my cervix due to the placenta, my water broke and then I didn't go into labor on my own. I had to have Pitocin which super painful and I ended up having an epidural and I'd had two natural births before, so I felt very disappointed in myself. The epidural didn't work, so they had to give me a huge dose that paralyzed me for hours afterwards. Even then the labor was very long and grueling and I started hemmorhaging when I was dilated to 6 but everything came out ok in the end, even though I was totally numb from the epidural I had enough body memory to push even though I couldn't feel a thing.

After the baby was born the doctor showed us the sac. There was one big, healthy looking placenta and then on the other side of the sac, a smaller, darker, ratty looking placenta. In between was a tiny hole where DS 4 had come through (I SO WISH we had taken a picture of it! It was totally amazing.)

Anyway, I still feel very sad on my son's birthday. We planted a tree for the baby and gave it a name - at first I felt like you did that it had been a girl, but then later on I read that most placenta previas are boys so now I think it was probably a boy. It helps but I still feel sad and guilty that I didn't know about him until months later.

[nini]

Gosh Atomic, thanks for sharing that with me! My OB initially diagnosed me with a placenta praevia as well, but this was incorrect as they later found out in hospital. INstead it was the hematoma that appeared like a piece of the placenta (or something). At the time (around 20 weeks) the Tech at the hospital who detected the inital bag of fluids said my placenta looked like it was carrying multiples, can you believe it? She also wondered how the scan I had hours after the gush of blood and fluids showed no low fluid levels in the existing baby's sac...and wondered where it had come from....But no further thinking.....

My first scan was very early, due to stabbing abdominal pains to outrule an ectopic pregnancy, like in week 5. Like with every first scan I briefly hoped they would say "there are 2 sacs" and I stared at the screen. And there were 2, I swear. I immediately asked what is this, but the Tech said all is well and in the right spot and htat was that. Fair enough, there wasnt a heartbeat to be seen yet and even if there had been 2 I guess it wouldnt have been relevant yet from a medical point of view.

I am very lucky in that the placenta is indeed on the upper, posterior wall. Also, the "bag" of where the other baby or sac would have been is on the opposite site (ie front wall), far away from the placenta and most blood vessels, so this pregnancy as such is pretty safe at this stage (of course they still want to monitor that loose bag of fluids....but it had decreased), the hematoma that derived of the remains of the fluids and blood that came out has disappeared int he meanwhile. So all looks well.

He wanted to be the bearer of good news, bless him, this doctor. Little did he know, how shocked I was walking out, it only came to me later that I might have lost a baby... what a sad, sad feeling. Its odd, for weeks I thought I could loose this baby, and now I realise I might in fact have lost another baby. Why didnt the other health professionals think of this possibility? Everyone said what a strange diagnose, a hole in the sac in week 15 and then nothing odd afterwards.....

In a way I wish he hadnt said anything, just kept the thought to himself since no one and nothing could have changed this from happening anyway. I do feel thrilled that my body possibly tried to conceive twins, something I feel so deeply about, surely it couldnt be a coincidence. I just feel so so sad that I wasnt able to keep
both babies. I want to be able to nourish and carry all my babies to the same extend and I was not able to do it. And I didnt even know about it. And instead I was disappointed I was carrying a boy

[girlmom]

i lost dd6's twin around 6 or 7 weeks. i started bleeding and went in to get checked but mine were identical and shared a sac, kinda dangerous i guess. only 1 baby had a heartbeat so they told me to come back in a few days and they could check the other baby. all i did was pray because i had just buried dd5. i wasn't strong enough to lose another baby at that point. when i went back in sure enough twin b had not grown and stil no heartbeat. i was warned to prepare for the worst with twin a. more praying and crying. i got lucky and my baby girl is 1 year old. i was just so greatful i didn't lose both of them but still i look at my daughter and wonder what it would be like if i had 2 of her. my body started to absorb the other baby, the doctor said if it wasn't totally disolved it would probably look like a small blood clot at delivery. its sad to lose a twin but worse to lose both.

[Waiting4Daisy]

Deleted for privacy

[Winngrin]

I dont have any experience with this but wanted to tell all of you who have lost a baby (twin or otherwise) how very sorry I am. I cant even imagine, as I'm sure anyone who hasnt been through it cant. You women seem very strong to me, and should be proud of your handling of it. I am wishing you peace with thoughts of your little beans. My heart just aches when I read these stories.

[NCBeachyGrl]

With DS2, I went in for my 7 week ultrasound and they found 2 sacs, but one was empty. They called it a vanishing twin. I never had any bleeding and it was absorbed by my body and disappeared almost completely by my 12 week ultrasound.

I too felt like that could have been my DD, but will never know!

[elle82]

When I was pregnant with DS 3 I had a little bleeding, went to the hospital and they said all was fine. Not long after this one Friday night I suddenly got really bad stomach pain out of nowhere and I eventually ended up collapsing in the bathroom and was brought to hospital, transferred to a maternity hospital and then transferred to a third hospital. None of them were sure what was wrong. I eventually ended up having emergency surgery where they discovered I had an ectopic pregnancy as well as a normal pregnancy. The ectopic wasn't spotted as when they scanned me they seen a baby in the womb and didn't think of ectopic as apparently it's rare enough to have both an ectopic and a pregnancy in the womb. They removed the ectopic pregnancy and my pregnancy with DS 3 continued as normal. We were told there was a risk of miscarriage after surgery but luckily all was fine and DS 3 is now 3 1/2. I think about the other baby all the time. It makes me so sad I blame myself for the ectopic because of things I did before I knew I was pregnant in the early days after conception, wish I had been careful and just never did them so I wouldn't be wondering what if now. I think it could have been a girl but we'll never know. I too would have loved twins but now don't think it's possible as I only have one tube that works as a result of the ectopic.
So sorry to hear about all of your losses girls Thank you for sharing your stories xxx