Oh no I'm so sorry to hear this.
You are not to blame for your loss - it is a normal feeling but very very few losses are caused by anything a women did or didn't do (and the ones that are, are things that are easy to avoid like drinking and drug use during pregnancy).
I don't have any advice b/c my losses were early and natural but just please let me know if I can help you in any way.
I forgot to say but while I understand feeling like it's your fault it really isn't. Sometimes crap happens and we are not at fault for it. It's okay to cry. It's okay to scream. How ever you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest whiniest baby because I alternated between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out help me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small memory love your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it Fester and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss it's hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming beer cry. Its okay to scream. However you feel the need to grieve do so. Only by allowing yourself to grieve fully and completely without reservation will you be able to move forward. I always felt like the biggest wine East baby because I alternating between completely numb and bawling my eyes out. Talking it out helped me but I always felt like doing so was a burden on others. They never complained or anything just the way I felt. Bottom line don't hold it in do something bigger small in memory of your little one if that helps you. Just make sure you are dealing with it and not ignoring it as that will only let it faster and make it worse in the long run. Pregnancy after loss is hard enough without adding emotions you haven't dealt with to the overwhelming fear that pregnancy after a loss brings.
Enjoying our 🌈 🚼 🎀👗
Twointow83, how absolutely horrendous. I am sorry you had to go through all those things. And to everyone who replied - I should have said how sorry I was that you've all been through losses. It really is such an awful thing to go through.
Nothing is happening here. No cramps or spotting. I still have sore boobs but the sickness has gone. I just don't know what to expect really but I'd ideally like to pass it naturally and go to hospital if necessary. We are only five minutes away so I suppose that's reassuring in some way.
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Twointow that's how I feel right now. Like the biggest cry baby. I'm either shaking either fear or crying or just completely numb. I didn't want to see the dead baby on the screen at the scan place and made them cover the screen. Then I felt awful for not wanting to see my baby. I just couldn't deal with looking at this lifeless blob that had had a heartbeat two weeks previously. I really really wish I could fast forward and it be Christmas Eve and this all over and complete but unfortunately I can't. I'm just struggling to be a grown up and deal with it right now!
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MrsSparkles thanks for coming over here from the DD board, I appreciate that so much. How far along was your loss? Did you feel it was manageable physically?Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsSparkles
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I'm so sorry Honeybee.
I've had 4 losses.
1 @ 7 weeks which was like a heavy period
2 natural @ 10 weeks, and an emegency d&c @ 12 weeks (i wanted natural but they were twins so I lost 2x the blood but avoided a transfusion)
The worst was the d&c. I was sore for a week and my period never returned for 7 weeks. It took almost a year for my periods to return to normal. They went from HHMLL to MMLL and i was terrified of scarring.
My most recent mc was at 10 weeks and here are a few tips to help it go smoothly for you:
1) start drinking red raspberry leaf tea 3-4x per day which tones the uterus in prep for labor. Continue until red bleeding stops. This tea helped a lot. My contractions were way smoother than when I did not drink the tea.
2) During the m/c stay hydrated with gatorade (keeps your electrolytes balanced)
3) get yourself some Depends disposable underwear for the first few hrs of really heavy bleeding (maxi pads just make a mess of your panties, pj and bedsheets)
4) get a rx for some Tylenol 3. I only needed these for the first couple days.
5) have a hospital bag packed and ready to go just in case
6) make sure someone is home with you when the bleeding starts.
7) Optional: have an Anora kit sent to you & get a mc test done (i found out my twins were normal boys, and my girl had chrom problems. It helped knowing the gender of the babies, naming them, finding out the problem etc). You will need a strainer over the toilet to collect the placenta and sack. Place this in a sterile container with saline and keep in the fridge until sending out for testing.
8) your mc will start when your progesterone levels drop below 10 ng/L. This can take days or a few weeks. If you are getting anxious have your progesterone level monitored every few days to see where you are at.
9) start taking 50 mL/day of Floravix liquid iron supplement now and thru the first month after the mc. During the mc you will lose blood and your hemoglobin levels will drop. The iron will help you replace these bloodcells quickly. Yes the dose on the bottle is 20 mL/day but you can double the dose no problem.
MrsGoodies, that list is fantastic - thank you so much. Dh is hunting down where to buy the tea from now. I'm in the uk.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this ordeal four times [emoji20] x
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Hi honeybee,
I know they have Red Raspberry leaf tea & Floradix in the UK.
For #8, your mc will start when your progesterone levels drop below 30 nmol/L (10 ng/L)
Yes I've just ordered some off Amazon to be delivered tomorrow. Thank you [emoji846]Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsGoodies
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With my natural m/c it started with bright red spotting / light bleeding on the Wednesday night I felt releived it was going to start on it's own. I wasn't cramping so I went to work but had hubby on call to pick me up. It didn't end up starting until Saturday arvo and we had time to drive back from the other side of town and then I popped out to the shop to get more pads. Once at home it got quite heavy but I only really had mild period cramps and just took some paracetamol. I was soaking through pads very quickly and should have gone to the ED earlier but I was silly and left it until I passed out and DH called an ambulance. I don't think this is something that happens thst commonly but just try not to ignore it like I did! I was feeling faint and cold so I should have gone sooner.
Everyone is quite different but I think you should have time to get back home if it starts. I hope it all goes well. Give yourself time to heal. I stupidly went back to work the Tuesday after and was a mess (no one knew about it either).