Another newbie longing for a daughter

Hi,
after posting in the Europe forum already, I would like to say hello before I continue to read and write here.
I am 37, currently pregnant with my second son and gender disappointment is huge. Can`t feel any joy or happiness regarding my pregnancy, only tears instead.
Thus, I am already looking for ways to get my baby girl by now although I won't be able to start realizing my dream before 2021 or 2022 even. I would like to do PGD then.
I am glad to hear from anybody willing to share her experiences both with gender disappointment and with PGD. Europe would be more feasable for us, but if it helps, we would also go to the US.

(I haven't written anything in English since I graduated from university. Therefore, I hope you do not mind my mistakes!)

I haven't done PGD as I am mid sway and planning to try for a girl soon, but I can relate to the gender disappointment. When I found out my second son was a boy at the ultrasound, I spend the rest of the appointment holding back tears, barely held myself together and when I got home I cried for a long time. I came across this website during my pregnancy also and started planning my sway almost immediately!
However, being disappointed during my pregnancy is such a big regret I have because if I had known then what an amazing boy he was going to be I would have been so joyful. He is now almost two and honestly I can say that I'm almost on the fence with even having another baby because I am completely happy with my two boys and even though I would love to have a daughter, I feel at peace with my two. My second son is the most cuddly little boy and so amazing, he is incredibly clever and makes me laugh all day long. I could go on and on about him! All that is to say this: It is ok to be disappointed, to get upset and cry - it is normal. But one day soon, instead of disappointment you will be filled with love and joy that this little boy is in your life. Something that helped me was to buy some new items just for him (as we already had most things we needed from my eldest son, I splurged on some new clothes and nursery items that were not necessary but I loved) to help me come to terms with it. I wish you a wonderful rest of your pregnancy and birth, and hope you will find some peace and even happiness in this time.

Hi again - did you see someone replied with more info about Cyprus? https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...-possible.html

I really do think the US is the best option. I SO wish it wasn't but after seeing so many people try the other clinics and have no success, the US really is the best especially for those over 35.

I had HORRIBLE gender disappointment with my 3rd son and to a lesser extent with my 4th but as time passed, it got better. I honestly think we're not meant to know gender in advance of having a baby (though I do always think you guys should find out if possible to give you time to adjust) and it's so hard to find out on the ultrasound. It's like our brains just can't process it right and it causes a lot greater tragedy than if the baby was with us, then we'd have somebody to love right off the bat.

It does get better though - this I can promise!

Hi Sarah,
thanks a lot for sharing your postive experience!
I have also started now to buy and even sew things for boy Nr. 2, hope that will help.
Good luck for your girl sway!

Hi atomic,
thank you once again for your reply!
I will check out whether the US is somehow feasable for us.
By the way, where do I get the list of clinics offering PGD in the US?

It's here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ted-state.html

I'm also 37 and have two boys. I had severe GD with both boys, especially my second. One thing that helped me was looking at cute "boy" clothes, buying them matching outfits and "brothers" t-shirts. I LOVE little girl clothes, and looking at cute boy clothes helped me connect with the idea of two boys. I also found joy in that my oldest has a brother.
Allowing myself to grieve the baby girl I wanted but didn't get also helped. Telling myself it's okay to want a daughter, my feelings are valid, etc. Since baby clothing is fun for me, I allowed myself to "pin" all the baby girl clothes I would buy if I had a daughter and just cry, feel anger, journal. Allowing feelings and processing was a huge help.
I have no advice for IVF in Europe. We have our first consultation for IVF PGD in California. We'll see how it goes.
<3

I have two boys aswell. The first pregnancy I was so sure it was a girl, if anyone told me “I think it’s a boy” I would get so mad. The second time was just as bad. I played an act to all my family like I was wanting a brother for my son and that I hope it was a boy. The only reason why I did that was so I would jinx it and finally get my daughter. Let’s just say both times I cried for weeeekkkksss! The second time, much worse considering I felt like if I had 2 boys then I’ll never get a girl! And I still feel like that and I think the next week honestly will be a boy... but I’m giving it my all and when I do fall pregnant I’m not gonna find out the sex till it’s born so there’s no gender disappointment (hopefully!) when you my second son was born, I had no interest in him. Actually quite sad cause he didn’t even do anything wrong other than join our family so now I regret it so much ignoring him. So if you’re feeling really sad and gd once he is born, trust me give him a little more attention or else like me you’ll regret it :) I’m always here if you need anything ❤️

Sarah2017- Love this. I’m 100% the same with you. Second son is the most loving boy, he actually melts my heart. It’s actually so sad to think when he was born I didn’t even want to hold him. And I too held back those tears so hard at the ultrasound haha! Sounds like we will both be trying for a girl baby around the same time! I’m hoping to conceive next month when my son turns 1 ❤️