Questions for those who have 2 boys 1 girl or 3 boys...or along those lines;)

Hello,

I'm new and am waffling everyday on this decision. I am driving people around me crazy as well as myself! I need some opinions!! ( I have 2 awesome little boys)
Question for ladies who had 2 boys, went for the 3rd hoping for a girl, got a boy...if this happens,were you right back to the same place mentally as before the 3rd boy...meaning, did you get that gender desire back all over again? I know you wouldn't take back your decision at this point as you have a beautiful child, but if you could turn back time and have the easier (2 vs 3) would you?


I am wondering why I am having such a hard time with the decision of following through on going for a girl. Like, if I do it and its a boy, my pipe dream is over because I am NOT having 4. Convincing myself that I can go through a completely nauseating pregnancy again for 3 is bad enough!! I am going to write myself some nasty letters to remind myself never to do this again I am sure!!
I would have been the same if the genders were reversed as I always wanted a boy...just didn't realize how much I wanted a girl til I didn't get one! I guess I just think, if I never get pregnant than I never have to close that door that I didn't have a girl...cause I could always try later, does that make sense?!?! The door will just REALLY be closed at 3 and i am afraid of how sad I will be to not get to experience it:(

Hope this makes sense, hoping I can have 3 consistent days of the same decision soon LOL!!!

Thanks for any input:)





:DS::DS:

Hi I am in the same boat as you,with 2 ds,I will be ttc a dd this year(sooner rather than later I hope)see the way I see it is you only regret the things you don't do in life!if you ttc a girl you have near as much chance of a girl as a boy!if you don't try you will 100% never have a girl.anyway hope you get your girl lots of pink dust to you.

i just posted something similar. it seems after 2 or 3 of the same gender people get an opisite gender with or without swaying. now most will swear the swaying is the only thing that helped them but odds say differently. if you do get another boy and you might. i think the 4th will probably be a girl if you sway or not. im on my 2nd marriage. i had 3 girls with the first and 3 girls with the 2nd. im expecting my 4th child with my 2nd husband now. everyone is telling me odds are this is finally my boy despite a girl swaying lifestyle. i'll find out in a few weeks. even though i long for a boy im finally able to say i would love another girl just as much. good luck

Hi coocoo
You have basically just summed up how I have been feeling for the past year! I really want to try for a third in hopes that it is a girl. I also will not be trying for a fourth. I guess the only difference is I have a son and a daughter. I always wanted a son as well but now that I have my girl I really want her to have a sister. Did you sway at all with your DS#2? I did attempt a very loose sway with my DD and I got my girl, but I am not sure how much the sway had to do with it or if I would have got her anyway. I completely agree with Ywna's comment on if you don't try you will never get your girl and then need to live with the fact that you never tried. Best wishes with whatever you decide!!!!

I didn't sway at all for DS 2. We basically knew we would have 2 but thought it would take as long as the first (hot baths for my husband seemed to be birth control for 3ish years) So we thought we would use that same theory for the 2nd and eventually I would get pregnant...of course it happened almost immediately to my surprise! I think I would be pregnant already or on this forum earlier if I had easier pregnancies...I don't want to be nauseated again for 6-7 months and not be able to be a good Mom to the great boys I have already!! Hoping by some miracle that if it was a different sex, maybe i would have a different pregnancy...wishful, I know!!

Yes, i have 3 boys. After ds1 I totally thought ds2 would be a girl. I took this really hard at my 20 week US and broke down and cried and cried. I just assumed i would have 1 boy and 1 girl and be done .. HA Well when I conceived DS3 I obviously really wanted a girl but inside I just knew he was a he. However, I didn't have a bit of GD when he was born and very little when it really sank in that he was a boy.

I really hope that each and everyone of us gets an opportunity to experience our DG. FX for you ladies if you choose to ttc again and sway :)

After having 2 boys, I really wanted a girl and got kindof obsessed about it. I found out I was pg with another boy and was totally depressed. When I had him though, I realized that I was totally healed from by gd. My desire to have a girl was "fixed". It was strange and unexpected because it had been so profound. I think what might have helped was talking about my feelings constantly with my dh. Anyhow, after he was born, I was no longer obsessed by it. I was just really happy with my 3 kids.
My dh and I however did want another baby, so in the summer of 2010, we started trying, and to make a long story short, I had 4 mc's in less than a year. It was crazy, I got pg first time with all of my conceptions, 3 took, 4 didn't. I saw an amazing specialist and they solved my problem (or so I think!) and I'm due in Feb. with a surprise! I can't wait to find out what it is! And I'm happy to say that boy or girl, I'll be thrilled either way! It's such a relief to get over gd.

Good luck. I know that getting over gd is different for everyone, that's how it happened for me and my dh.

Hi coocoo

You may not want to hear this but you did ask and I am replying because I think it is better to be forewarned.

I was in your shoes. Then I tried the Shettles method for our third and it failed and I got my third son. We absolutely adore him, he is just divine and although we feel a little guilty for whispering it to each other, my husband and I both agree he has been the most delightful (so far!). if there was ever a baby that could cure someone of GD he would be it!

It was a big decision for us to go from 2 to 3 and I totally thought 3 would be it.

But now, 2 years down the track, my GD is back with a vengeance. Its worse than its ever been - I think because 3 was supposed to be it and its time to decide once and for all if I can get past this GD without getting my desired gender or not. Time to accept that my family is done and I'm never getting my DD OR to do something about it.

So, despite the fact that my life is incredibly busy and chaotic now, and DH had always said 3 was the limit, here we are now going for a 4th. Only this time, we are going high tech - no more chances.

I tossed around the idea of just giving it one really good sway (not Shettles this time, he failed me twice) but as DH said - "then we will just be in the same boat (ie, struggling with GD again) only with one extra boy".

There is a part of me that wishes that I had gone HT for number 3 as I have no idea how I am going to fit another baby into our busy busy lives. BUT ofcourse then we wouldnt have our beautiful DS3 so no true regrets, just a tinge of sadness that no matter what happens from here, I cannot have the family that I envisaged/assumed/dreamed of - the one with 2 or 3 kids of mixed genders.

Instead its either going to be 3 kids all of one gender or 4 kids with my mix.
Time to choose. And, although the latter may be ridiculously busy for a few years it will cure me of my GD and I am so sick of having it! I know I wont regret a fourth child (I may just age much quicker than natural!) but I may really regret not fighting harder for my mix of genders. Alot of my GD is about wanting an adult daughter in the future. And so I worry most that my GD may be WORSE when my kids are adults and by then ofcourse it will be too late to do anything about it.

So be forewarned, GD can be strong enough to push you past your limit on number of kids just for one more chance at getting your desired gender.

AND, I never realised how much I really wanted a DD until now. I shed a few tears at my ultrasound for DS2 then moved on and I cried for one night upon finding out with DS3 and then moved on. But its now, at crunch time that it has really come and hit me the hardest.

Goodluck and I hope you get your DD