One more try....

I have 2 boys and would love to have a girl. My DH is open to having only 1 more child. He is okay with swaying or IVF/PGD. I'm having issues with leftover embryos. But, my DH doesn't want to be the decision maker on how we try for #3. I am so incredibly torn :(

As crazy as it sounds, I can't help but to read into everything!!! I think that is what confuses me most. For example, out of me and 3 female co-workers, we have 8 boys, no girls. Of course I think, "the next one to have a baby (probably me) will have a girl, right?!" And out of my close-knit girl friends from college, 4 of us have 5 boys. Surely if I have the next baby, it will be a girl?! And my mom seems to have some insight, that I will have 3 kids total, the next one being a girl. She doesn't know that I have GD, much less horrible GD :( She has been correct with 5 grandchildren, so far.100%. Is she right, or am I going to be the one that she finally guesses wrong with? Irrational, I know.

Have any of you been faced with this decision? I cannot decide for anything.

#1 - IVF/PGD - Spend the money, might not have a transfer, might have to make decisions about leftover embryos, might end up swaying anyhow, but will for sure know that it's a girl if I get pg :)

#2 - Sway and chance it with low "sway" odds, making it more like flipping a coin? And even though the studies show the odds of having a girl after 2 boys is 48% to 52%, the odds of having 3 children of one sex is 25% :) If it's a girl, I would be over the moon, saved a lot of money and wouldn't have the issue with decisions about leftover embryos. If it's a boy, I know I will love him like crazy, but will at least be just as sad, if not more, and might be wishing I would have spent the money since we are stopping after #3.

DH will not have #4. Any points of view are greatly appreciated!! It's easier to see things from the outside looking in :) I hope these mixed up thoughts aren't too confusing to follow! Thank you all kindly!!!

Well, it's hard when anyone says that IVF/PGD IS an option AND they want a particular sex next AND it is your final baby. Given all of that, I would choose the PGD route.

I can't really offer any advice on the leftover embryos because it is something that I have a tough time with too. What I do know is that my son would not be in this world had I not chosen PGD and as bad as the leftover embryos are, he is worth that sacrifice. I don't know if we will be judged for that but I do know that I prayed to God nightly to give me a son. I asked him to just meet me half-way. If PGD was what I had to do, I asked to make it work.

I think, obviously, there are some things you can do with swaying to give yourself a better chance at a girl. Only you can know which 'chance' is the better option for you and your family. There are risks with both. My decision to use HT was based upon the fact that I did not want another girl. I wanted a boy and I finally admitted that to myself and it was either no child or a boy through PGD. That sounds harsh, perhaps, but it was were I was with life. So, that made my decision easy in a way.

Either way, we have some great people here to help you through the process. If you choose the swaying route, we have some great insight into that world and with HT, same thing. Good luck and welcome!

Personally, if I was sure that #3 would be it regardless of gender, I would do PGD. I believe that swaying works, I really do, but it's just a sway. Not a guarantee. I really think that i would need that guarantee if my GD was bad and I knew without a doubt that my last child would really be my last child. Good luck with whatever you decide!

The question I always ask in this situation is, what would make you feel worse, walking away with no money and no baby (and possibly leftover blue embryos) , or walking away with an opposite? Compare the worst case scenario and see which one would be easier to live with.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

The question I always ask in this situation is, what would make you feel worse, walking away with no money and no baby (and possibly leftover blue embryos) , or walking away with an opposite? Compare the worst case scenario and see which one would be easier to live with.

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You are absolutely correct but if you do fail with HT, you can then try again on your own. If you try swaying and get an opposite and that's your last child, then that's it.

Thank you all! I have known all along that if I tried HT and it didn't work, I know I at least tried. I would still have the chance to sway after as well. But every time I think I'm ready to go for it, I get nervous. I guess this is just one of the hard parts of the journey :( I just pray I'm one of those who only has one or two females to transfer, gets pg on the first try, and has no leftover embies. Ha ha! I can dream, huh ;)

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Originally Posted by Chunky Monkey

#2 - Sway and chance it with low "sway" odds, making it more like flipping a coin? And even though the studies show the odds of having a girl after 2 boys is 48% to 52%, the odds of having 3 children of one sex is 25%

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I have to chime in with some math here. The odds of having 3 children of the same gender before you start having kids is 1 out of 6. Once you've had two already, the chance of the third being the same gender is back to 1 in 2.

That being said, if you want a girl, and aren't going to be having more kids, I would vote for the certainty of PGD. If it does fail, you can always try swaying if you're comfortable with it.

Good luck.

I would try IVF too

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Originally Posted by Claire

I have to chime in with some math here. The odds of having 3 children of the same gender before you start having kids is 1 out of 6. Once you've had two already, the chance of the third being the same gender is back to 1 in 2.

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I like your math better! I'll take the 1 in 6 :) There have been numerous studies and come up with different percentages for all of it. My point is, all of these numbers, percentages and people guessing, all start to mess with me! I actually start to think that my sway would work. It really doesn't mean anything at all. No matter how many people I know with boys or girls, no matter how many people tell me they think I will have a girl next, no matter how many of the sway details I do, I think I will still have a 50/50 chance.

I might be on the girl side of that 50/50 this time if I were to sway. But, I may not. Now I just need to make up my mind. Thanks again for all of the input! You girls are great!!!

I would go HT if my dp said that it was our last baby and he was up for it I would do it in a heartbeat!!