Pissed at OB-what would you do?

OK so I had an OB visit today and here are some of the gems he delivered:

1) He mentioned that my U/S dates and my LMP period dates a bit off. I explained that I O'ed a few days early, and knew I did. He seemed :think: that this was very odd, and his only rationale for how my ovulation could have come earlier than the standard day 14 was that my being heavier puts me at a greater risk of having more estorgen which could have triggered an early ovulation which led to....

2) I then mentioned that on a website I go to it seems like women who are overweight or undweight have a tendency to concieve more girl children. This led him back his :think: stance and he replied very firmly, "how is that possible, when everyone knows the man decides the sex of the child? The woman has no role in choosing gender." That led me to a brief description of maternal condition theory to which he shook his head and said that I was completely wrong, it was all random and all to the man. I went with him a bit, and just said, yes the sperm does decide, but what if a woman's biologically condition helped the sperm along in the decision process?" This went over like a lead balloon.

3) I asked again about the idea a vaginal birth after 2 c-sections. When I asked him last visit, he just said "we'll talk about it later" which gave me dumb hope that maybe he'd be slightly open-minded. Today he informs me that:

A) I have an "extra-large uterus";
B) this extra large uterus is going to build a big baby
C) Unless the baby is going to be born around 6 lbs, he won't let me try a vag after 2Cs

4) DS1 was 8 lb 7 oz, DS2 was 9 lb. There is no way in hell I am building a 6 lb baby at birth, because I am already really popping out now (thanks to the "extra large uterus" I suppose,) and unless this is a premature birth, 6 lbs just ain't gonna happen.

So now my question is: Do I really get the guts to look for another possible OB? Does insurance cover a consulation with a new OB if you are dissatified with your own?

Is it really WORTH fighting this battle? I have two issues that possibly concern me in regards of the "uterine rupture" issue with a vag birth after C-sections.

I got pregnant this time when my last baby was only 8 months old;

as duly noted above, I make big babies. There is a chance Lillian will be high 8s low 9s at birth if I keep going at this rate

I do not want to endanger my health or the baby's, but I feel like he is being old-fashioned and will not examine the risks in a real way. I feel like he is just putting his hands up without investigating if it is really out of the league for me.

Can't they check uterus tone? Can't they do other measurements to access a realistic risk profile?

The other thing is that I still want to have a chance to maybe have a 4th child...and do doctors even allow FOUR c-sections??

Wow, your OB sounds pretty old fashioned. Is he an older guy who went to med school a long time ago? Maybe he hasn't done any current research? I wonder why he argued with you about all that stuff, when he could just look up a few studies and learn something new.

My Dr. is sort of closed minded too, but he is also really religious. Sometimes it bothers me, but I am way too much of a weenie to find another doctor. My town is super small, and my dr.'s kids are in school with my kids, etc., so I would see him all the time and it would be awkward. If you live in a big enough place and it wouldn't bother you, maybe you should switch OBs? I guess you have to weigh your options.

As far as the C-sections, I am not sure about that.... hopefully someone will chime in that knows more about that.

Hi Auroara,

Sorry about your experience. That sucks. You might have to check with your insurance, but mine did cover two. I went to one and had my pap smear and then made an appt with a new one to discuss pregnancy and see if I liked him enough to have him deliver my baby. I went to the second one, because the first one was a lot like yours...just discounted everything. The second one, while not exactly convinced swaying will do anything, did tell me I could try. I'm sticking with him. He's also a fertility specialist, so I think that may be part of the issue...he's used to helping people to pull out all the stops to get pregnant.
This will be my 4th child and 4th c-section. He did tell me that I did not have the option of having a VBAC, since I've had 3 c-sections already. I'm not sure if he would've considered a vaginal delivery if I had only had 2. Most doctors say 4 is the max you can have. It won't matter for me, since I'm 40...this is my final baby.

I hope you find someone who works better for you...this is such an intimate experience, you really need someone you feel confident in. I'm sure other people will weigh in with their experiences.
Good luck with that sweet pink bean! ♥

When I don't have a nursing baby on me....I'll get back to you in depth :D

And no it's not crazy to fire your OB and find someone that doesn't use scare tactics in their practice. It's your body and your choice and you know what is best for you and baby. Your body grows babies the right size for you. Yes, there is a chance of uterine rupture. But you have a higher chance of being killed in a car accident than dying from a rupture. What your Dr didn't tell you- having a section leads to 4x the maternal deaths than vaginal birth.

It all comes down to what you feel is right. Do as much research as you can. Maybe find a midwife with hospital privledges who has attended VBACs. If you really want this...you have to fight for it. Sad but true. xo J

Sorry you are having a hard time with your OB he sounds like he is very old fashioned and close minded. I know a couple of my friends have had 4 c- sections, I don't know what their drs said though. I have a great woman dr who never dismisses anything I say and always hears me out on everything and she explains things and the reasons behind them very thoroughly for me. Having said all this if I was you I would probably look for a new OB because he would of pissed me off