I am becoming depressed

I have been trying for 13 months, and I am pretty sure I am out this month. You would think that since it is taking me so long to conceive I would just want a baby, boy or girl, but the longer it takes the worse my gender desire is getting. I am becoming someone I am not proud of. Very jealous of all the other women I know having girls (and I know A LOT of them). Every time someone announces they are pregnant I know it will be girl. I just have this feeling my next will be a boy, and I have gone through all of this for nothing. Then of course there is this fear that I can't have another baby because it is taking so long to conceive.

After this cycle I have to begin to see an RE and I am sure they will want to do IUI's and I know they sway boy. It is not that I wouldn't love my son, because I KNOW for a fact that I would, I just want a daughter so badly.

Thanks for letting me get this out.

What have you tried to sway Kasey? Have you tried Vitex yet?

I have tried it all. Now I am on clomid, and it is my last cycle on clomid. After this I have to see the Reproductive doc since it is taking so long to conceive. I have been on the diet for 15 months.

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Originally Posted by kaseybaby

I have tried it all. Now I am on clomid, and it is my last cycle on clomid. After this I have to see the Reproductive doc since it is taking so long to conceive. I have been on the diet for 15 months.

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Wow, that is dedication I am sorry. :(

I think if I had conceived right away I wouldn't have cared as much if I had another DS, because I adore my DS, but since it is taking so long, it makes me feel like I deserve a healthy girl in some way.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kaseybaby

I think if I had conceived right away I wouldn't have cared as much if I had another DS, because I adore my DS, but since it is taking so long, it makes me feel like I deserve a healthy girl in some way.

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I totally don't blame you! Gosh, you've been through A LOT! Did you keep track of everything you did in each cycle? Maybe Atomic can help?

OH! Are you BFing???
NM I guess if you are on Clomid you aren't.

I know exactly your feeling......did 2 times HT both with severe fragmented embryos. So hard to get pregnant with them. The second time we decided that our son deserves a sibling so we put back 2xx and 2xy (we wanted a girl). We hoped that a girl would stick and if there was a boy too it was very okay. No I'm 13 weeks pregnant with probably a boy. It feels like I'm the only one who did HT and gets back with an opposite of what I really wanted (okay we knew it was a possibility but why do I have always bad luck?!?!) I'm so jealous of other HT women who gets what they want.....It feels for me the same that I deserve that girl after doing HT.....

I understand what you mean....you probably feel even more desperate for that little girl because now there a potential threat of not having anymore at all. Someone without GD wouldn't get that probably....but we probably all do!

Hugs for you lisva. I absolutely hate that fact I have gender desire. And the thing is, it is not that I don't want a boy, it is that I want a girl, if that makes any sense at all.

Kasey that's exact the same feeling I have so it does make very much sense!!! Hugs!