So what is this...someone please give me a name for it!

I don't know what this is.... do I have gender desire??? Or is this premature -GD??? I feel like this is me just being a jerk and unable to control my thoughts and emotions. I'm actually mad at myself! I feel ungrateful in general. I know logically that the worst case scenario will be 2/2...and that tons of women on here would love that. I apologize in advance if I hurt anyone or seem like an A-hole. But that is logic....I'm not exactly feeling logical right now. I'm terrified simply because this wasn't planned or even wanted right now. The second I saw that stick I went...wow...didn't sway....wrong season...I was still Bfing...I dont even know what my PH was!!! Great....it's going to be a GIRL.... How did this happen? =( I have zero intentions of telling DH @ this point....can't put this weight on his shoulders right now. I'll just have to wait till I know what it is (10 week blood test) and my head is on a little better. Has anyone ever felt this way before? What the heck am I? What do you call this?

Dear Luvncamrin, gosh, I think it may be premature GD. I have it too, and am only 6 weeks :( only my pregnancy was planned, now i am in total regret. i just know its a boy (i want a girl), and am going through GD now. My 2 children are older, so why did i want to go back to baby stage! I'm terrified! The truth is, neither of us know for sure what we are having, just preparing for the worst mentally i think. I don't know if it is hormones or what, or even antenatal depression - thats what if feels like. But know your not alone here, i am not being logical right now either (blame the hormones). Would it help to speak with you DH? My DH surprised me, he was actually more supportive than i thought he would be. I wish i could help you feel better - big hugs to you xx

no...it would be much much worse to speak to dh before I get myself in order. He's not what I would consider a sympathetic or understanding man. He was a military guy...and now a cop. I had severe GD with DD1 and he was not even CLOSE to understanding! He was down right nasty to me about it. Even his sister bitched at me for having the feelings I did( even though she doesn't have nor plan to have kids...she's happy with her 3 cats...LOL) ......I learned my lessons about voicing my feelings early on with my husband and inlaws....if they don't "get it" then there is something wrong with YOU. Which I agree there is in this case....but...don't need to hear it right now. I don't think my husband will blame me for getting pg...well he might @ first...but he will KNOW I didn't do it on purpose. He saw me carefully charting all the time to avoid this. I even showed him the software...how it works and explained why there was certain time period he wasn't allowed into the room with me! lol But other than that...he'll be mad...because it horrible timing in EVERY way possible in our lives. 3 kids this close together is hard, but I mange all by myself ..reasonably well....I can't and don't want to imagine adding another..this close together again...and a girl @ that =(

Oh dear, you must be feeling so confused.... it is not your fault you are pregnant - remember it takes 2 ! You might feel a weight lifted off your shoulders if you just tell him you are pregnant (you don't need to mention the boy girl thing) - just that you are pregnant? It is alot for you to carry this all on your own. I mean its amazing those swimmers survived 7 days. I have heard that quite often boys result from long cut offs - so you never know - it could be a boy?
My husband is not usually that emotionally supportive either, but he surprised me a bit when i shared my feelings with him. I think it is better to have your kids all close together also - hard, but worth it in the end. I hope you are feeling somewhat better today? Keep talking, it helps to share your feelings xox

UPDATE!!! So...DH knows now.....found me throwing up for the second time yesterday....asked me if I could be pregnant...I said maybe.....he had me take a test and boom....he knows now! He didn't take is seriously ...just said "well it looks like you are going to have a 4th baby...hahaha!" I'm kinda annoyed about his lack of seriousness.....guess that's kinda easy forhim since I'm 99% responsible for the care of our kids. He knows that my life will ultimately be the most affected by this....He also said "I have a feeling this one is a girl!" =( So my heart has been breaking ever since that....I just wish I knew now... This whole pregnancy is alot to take on in general....and couldn't be @ a worse time. DH could potentially be in boot camp (for the second time...he's 32) or moving us 11 hrs away to a potential new post....It's all a lot to take on...but the thought of it being a girl is more than I can take....I don't want to go into a depression....I normally don't go there...I just wish I would have know this was coming....I would have at least gotten to sway..so so sad

I know you are a mess right now, and I totally get it. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I know the first few weeks of any pregnancy are weird on your hormones and emotions, even if you don't have GD anxiety. I think you will feel better once you are farther along (and once you know gender). I hope it is a boy, and then at least you won't have that to stress about. :)