New here and neep help please!!!

Hello ladies! I would like to start TTC a boy in august, but I have a couple questions. My husband is 38 and has two girls from a previous marriage and also gave me a beautiful girl. I would love to have a boy with him. My first question is...we have barely had sex in the past 2 years. I was pregnant and then been busy with baby and we just haven't made time for it. I keep reading about how abstaining from sex can cause birth defects especially for men over 35. If we started bding more frequently in these next few months can we reverse any of the damage we have already done? Second question is...I feel like my diet prior to having my DD was pretty boy friendly even though I didn't sway, I ate fast food, ramen, and boxed dinners a lot. But I also ate lots of cereal w/ 2% milk and lots of sweets. Not a ton of veggies or fruit. I am a little confused about the diet thing since I ended up with a girl with all that sodium and meat. Anyways, sorry this is so long...any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Ayh, i am in the same situation as you, my DP has 2 DDs from a previous relationship and we have 1 DD together, and are currently trying for a boy. My advice is to read up on the HE diet, Try to get as much natural CM as you can, if you dont have a lot get some preseed. Try to do some excersises that will build a little mussle and dont worry about timing. Best of luck with your sway :)

Yes, absolutely you can undo any damage. Men are constantly making sperm and they can make a completely new batch in 72 days, start to finish. Put that worry out of your mind all together, the abstain only affects the newest sperm formed.

Honestly, I would be a bit concerned about my husband's testosterone levels if he's been willing to go without sex for 2 years. Has he ever had his T levels checked? That is not a normal sex drive for a guy and he may need to see a doctor to rule out that there is any underlying physical reason his sex drive is that low. I'm not saying he has something wrong with him either physically or mentally, please understand - I just think you need to rule out the possibility that low testosterone levels could be playing some part because until that's fixed, it's going to make it a lot harder to sway.

The idea that ramen and processed and fast food sway blue because of high sodium levels, is an idea from other sites and sources that many of us do not believe on this site. The best evidence indicates that a healthy balanced diet, with natural whole foods and lots of fruit and vegetables sways blue, and that insanely high levels of sodium can even sway pink by suppressing fertility overall.

Sweets eaten by themselves, without protein, also sway pink.

The HE (High everything) Diet for a boy has the following guidelines:

2200-2500 cals a day, 90-120 g of protein from both vegetarian sources like nuts and beans, plus lean, unprocessed meats (not hot dogs and bacon), unlimited amounts of healthy fats (limit/avoid transfats), 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day, whole grains rather than white grains when you can. You need to eat 3 meals a day plus 2-5 snacks and eat both protein and carbs at every meal and snack. Full fat dairy is allowed but skim dairy is prohibited - even 2% is not as good as full fat milk/cheese, etc. Breakfast cereal does sway blue and is a great bedtime snack - there are no magic foods.

Thank you both so much for your responses.
Cinss--I'm glad to see i'm not alone
Atomic--I guess I should do more research on this site. (I have been lurking for awhile, but never posted anything) My DH has had his T levels checked and I believe they were in the normal range. We have had sex, just no where near as often as we used to. I am not sure why his sex drive is so low, we have talked about it and not sure why. We think it may have to do with his age, but maybe we will revist the doctor.

Another question, since he has had all girls from two different marriages....is there anything he should really commit to doing? Should he also follow the same diet?

Hi Ayh, i'd see what AS says, but I would think your dh needs to think "good health" too, like his T can decrease if he is not getting enough sleep, also if he drinks at all and I would think he would also benefit from healthier foods, very little processed stuff.

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Originally Posted by AYH72687

Thank you both so much for your responses.
Cinss--I'm glad to see i'm not alone
Atomic--I guess I should do more research on this site. (I have been lurking for awhile, but never posted anything) My DH has had his T levels checked and I believe they were in the normal range. We have had sex, just no where near as often as we used to. I am not sure why his sex drive is so low, we have talked about it and not sure why. We think it may have to do with his age, but maybe we will revist the doctor.

Another question, since he has had all girls from two different marriages....is there anything he should really commit to doing? Should he also follow the same diet?

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As long as his T is in the normal range, then that's fine as long as it works for you guys. :)

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Originally Posted by n710

Hi Ayh, i'd see what AS says, but I would think your dh needs to think "good health" too, like his T can decrease if he is not getting enough sleep, also if he drinks at all and I would think he would also benefit from healthier foods, very little processed stuff.

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Yes, that's exactly right!! He needs to quit smoking if he does, limit alcohol and caff intake to very moderate or eliminate it all together, and avoid artificial sweeteners, high intake of processed foods/preservatives/nitrates, and soy foods.

If he can up his intake of meat, fish, eggs, nuts, healthy fats, and fresh fruits and vegetables that will help. I would also give him a good men's multivitamin (I like Men's One a Day 50 plus even for men who are not over 50), enough Vit D to total 1000 IU, l-arginine and l-carnitine (don't use d-carnitine).