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I only have one son and im not disappointed that he's a boy as he is perfect BUT I cant shake my desire for a daughter. Its rediculous how much I over analyse peoples family make up, or feel jealous when family members have girls? I just wondered how you keep your desire/ and or jealousy in check? How much does your desire affect your life day to day?
I can't really offer any helpful advice because my desire drove me to HT and I drug my DH along with me. I did that after I already had 3 of one gender. I still am curious about people's family makeup now. I think once you notice/focus on it, it won't change or go away totally even if you have a girl next- once you have had a taste of the desire, it remains there somewhere.
Hm. I'm not that over obsessed with it so maybe I'm not the best to answer. I have thought about it recently, but before I came to this site- honestly it was minimal in terms of mental space. Now its huge because I'm getting ready to ttc. I would really LIKE a girl, and I will probably go to great lengths to get a girl- don't get me wrong-- but I don't think very much about other people's families because the gender make up does not say anything about how happy they are about it. You don't know what issues are going on within them.
I have had periods in my life where I have been jealous about other things people have- and think about it quite often to the point where it was really hard, but those things are gone inside me now, so given what NBP said- sure you will notice it, but the feelings won't always be the same, they won't be so strong. No feeling lasts forever, things change.
I am totally obsessed with it. I notice everyone's family makeup. Women with girls make me so angry when I see them out. (Sorry, NBP!)Quote:
Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink
And it doesn't even matter that DH has agreed to go HT, because I'm still bitter about never having my dream family. I think if I learned how to get over that, everything would be better, but I haven't figured it out yet!
I do notice people's family makeup now and I think I always will, more out of curiosity than anything. I'm not bitter about it (except when I see people who obviously aren't taking care of their kids).
I've bonded with some other women and that has done a lot towards alleviating my feelings that I NEEDED a daughter.
I pay hyper-attention to family makeup, especially people who have the same number or more kids than me... she had a girl for #5, then a girl for #6, so that must mean I will too! Or she had a girl for #5, then a boy for #6, so there's hope for me! Anyways, it's ridiculous. I just remind myself that I'm going to get what I get (and sway as hard as I can)... and try and move on, and focus on something worthwhile in my life :p
I am hyper focused on the whole thing now that I have three sons. To take my mind off it I shop for books and clothes for my little one. I try to shop at boy only websites because I don't need to see little girls things.
Just seeing this and no offense taken! I know what you mean. Now I see people with a PP or 2 girls and a boy which was my original plan-lol- and I think how easy it would be to only have 3 kids! So, we all have our best case scenarios.Quote:
Originally Posted by Claire
For me the perfect family would be to have a boy and a girl then another girl. So whether I ever have a boy, I would still see the perfect family being 2 girls and a boy and it would also seem easier for me to imagine 3 kids instead of even though I love DD#3 so much.
My pefect family at first was a boy and a girl (2 kids total) bu then I realizedit would be nice to have one more to add into the mix. I mean even 2 boys and a girl would be fine. But I think 2 girls and a boy would be more for me.
If I ever did have a boy, it is going to be so much work with 3 girls and a boy at all different ages, and all of my help is paid help or if neighbors and friends offer to help out at no charge.
So I understand this completely.