why do i feel like im incapable of producing a girl

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I'm sorry you're feeling so conflicted. We always seem to keep hoping for something beyond what we have. It's what makes humans great, but it can also make us very unhappy when what we're hoping for isn't under our control.

Maybe instead of focusing on how much you want another girl, think about how much you want to add another baby to your family. How exciting it will be -- how crowded the dinner table will be! Some of your children will be happy with either gender and some will have a preference, but when the baby came, they would all be interested. All your lives will be enriched no matter what gender the baby is.

I totally understand. I WISH I could feel done with 4 but I think when we really have a "vision" of our family, it's awfully hard to let go of. Harder when you KNOW that if you had just one more, or one more girl, that you would feel done! I feel like I have to settle for secondbest.