Where did you get maried??

DP and I have been engaged for 4 years. There are a few reasons that we haven’t gotten married yet. One is that we have moved A LOT and so we don’t have huge numbers of people to invite and where we live now people have really showy weddings with huge numbers of guests! To be honest we wanted to elope and get married just us or maybe close family! DP mother was not happy with this at all!! I just want simple no fuss minimal organisation!!not because I don’t want a special day but just because I want to be happy not stressed!!

Anyway, DS was 100% planned as we weren’t getting any closer to deciding on how and where to get married but we wanted a child! I didn’t think I cared about being technically married but since having DS it seems like the most important thing in the world for us to do and I wish I had done it before :sad:!

After my huge essay I just want to ask what type of wedding you had? And whether you think it is a bit selfish to elope?

Well, selfish is a strong word but how would you feel if one day your DS got married without you there to witness? I'd be very upset and no matter the reasons it would hurt my feelings.

If you want a small ceremony, why not just do that? You can still wear a fabulous dress no matter who comes or where you have it. I just think there are a million different ways to get married but you can do it on your own terms. When one elopes, it sends a message that 1. You don't want anyone else there and that will make people that care feel hurt and 2. It seems like you are running away from something but at some point, you will have to come back and face whatever it was you tried to avoid in the first place.

My rule for guests is that for my family's side, I refused to be introduced to anyone at my wedding so that eliminated any random guests, friends of friends, etc. I saw no reason for that kind of production. I don't think you have to go large to keep up with the Joneses.

I do hope my children want me there with them one day though. I hope I get to share in all their momentous occasions. I don't need to direct them though, just be a part of it somehow.

DH and I just got married at the courthouse. It was us, the big kids (my kiddos, DH has now adopted them), and a couple of our friends as witnesses. To us a ceremony was not important, just finally getting married after waiting for it :) I did wear a pretty white dress but it was just us!

I think it may be a decision you might regret later. Why not just opt for a small courthouse wedding? You could just have immediate family. I can just understand where you MIL is coming from - I am sure she want to be there to help celebrate too. The marriage of your child has got to be one of the biggest events in your life.

we had a traditional wedding. I didn't appreciate it back then. I just wanted to get started with my new life. I think it's important to have a day for yourself and something you can share with your children later on. Our kids LOVE watching our wedding video!

Well I had the big showy wedding and loved every minute of it, even the stressful planning parts.
I understand where your MIL is coming from too, but that doesnt stop you from eloping, just take her with you! It would still be a hell of a lot cheaper. You could tell close family and friends that they are welcome to come, they just need a ticket;) It would also come in handy to have babysitters there while you and DH do your honeymooning:D

I did elope at the courthouse when my DS 1 was 2 months old and it will be 19 years on Monday!! Honestly, it was the smartest thing I ever did. I do think my parents and I think my grandparents, were annoyed about it but at the same time I know they would have been awful had I had a more involved wedding and my DH and I didn't always handle stress that well back then.

Wedding #1 was in a Catholic Church - over 300 guests.
Wedding #2 was in the Bahamas. MUCH prefer this way! ;)