Slate Article: "How to Buy a Daughter"

This Slate article's being discussed on IG right now, and I wasn't able to find a thread about it here (sorry if there already is and I missed it). A former GD member pointed out to me it was written by the person who was sniffing around here a while back claiming to be a grad student and trying to contact individual members. Just thought everyone would like to see it, and it's a great reminder to be cautious with our personal information on this site.

Sex selection in babies through PGD: Americans are paying to have daughters rather than sons. - Slate Magazine

Pretty negative take on the whole thing.... I don't know why people care how others chose to balance their families. The author of that article obviously doesn't have GD!

Holy negative comments at the bottom of the article. Some people just don't get it. They don't understand gender disappointment at all. They think we don't love our "wrong" sexed children. Not true at all ,at least not for me. I feel loads of love for my boys and I would love another boy to death as well however there is a spot in my heart that is empty and broken and that longs for a girl so desperately and yes if I had the money I would pay for reassurance..for my girl.

If the baby in my womb is another boy I too will cry, probably for weeks and be depressed about it for a while, but I will move on and I will love that child no matter what. Since when is it a mental illness to mourn over not getting something? The feelings are natural...I think maybe that's why some argue and fight against it, because they feel shame and being against GD somehow safeguards them.

I've never understood why the majority of people always think it is *better* to have things decided FOR them in their life, instead of making their own choices. They don't trust their own judgement to make the best decisions for themselves and they get upset when someone else has the self awareness and confidence to make things happen for themselves. They resent and even hate people who have the guts to go after what they want. Look at the venom of those comments! What is it to them that some woman paid $40,000 to select the gender she wanted? Really?

"Nature" ie "random chance" should decided the gender of your children or you're evil and ungrateful. The government should decide how you spend your money (high taxes) etc, etc. They refuse to take any personal responsibility for their life and their happiness. The message throughout the comments of "you get what you get and you don't get upset" says it all. I guess by letting someone/something else (including random chance) decide for you, you also get to dodge any responsibility for failure. It's not *your fault* if you don't have what you want and are unhappy.

It's sad and bizarre to me.

Thanks mocha for posting that. I remember the message that I got in my inbox from the "grad" student. I thought at the time it was a troll!

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Originally Posted by Mochagirl

This Slate article's being discussed on IG right now, and I wasn't able to find a thread about it here (sorry if there already is and I missed it). A former GD member pointed out to me it was written by the person who was sniffing around here a while back claiming to be a grad student and trying to contact individual members. Just thought everyone would like to see it, and it's a great reminder to be cautious with our personal information on this site.

Sex selection in babies through PGD: Americans are paying to have daughters rather than sons. - Slate Magazine

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IT was written by the "grad student" I just checked my inbox I never erased it!

Thanks so much for posting this. I just got my BFN after our cycle with Dr Potter at HRC. This woman helps me keep the faith that it will all work out for us, hopefully next cycle. I want my baby girl more than a new car or kitchen Reno too.

Love how Atomic is all over them with her comments right now! LOL

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Originally Posted by RedCanoe

I've never understood why the majority of people always think it is *better* to have things decided FOR them in their life, instead of making their own choices. They don't trust their own judgement to make the best decisions for themselves and they get upset when someone else has the self awareness and confidence to make things happen for themselves. They resent and even hate people who have the guts to go after what they want. Look at the venom of those comments! What is it to them that some woman paid $40,000 to select the gender she wanted? Really?

"Nature" ie "random chance" should decided the gender of your children or you're evil and ungrateful. The government should decide how you spend your money (high taxes) etc, etc. They refuse to take any personal responsibility for their life and their happiness. The message throughout the comments of "you get what you get and you don't get upset" says it all. I guess by letting someone/something else (including random chance) decide for you, you also get to dodge any responsibility for failure. It's not *your fault* if you don't have what you want and are unhappy.

It's sad and bizarre to me.

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Yes, I don't understand the logic. I believe that I am the only one responsible for my personal happiness. I don't want to wait to see if life gives me what I am hoping for, I'd rather actively seek it out myself. (and this applies to other situations too, not just trying to have a baby of a particular gendeR)

I couldn't agree more with RedCanoe's comments below.

The article was a very one-sided, negative attack on people choosing to select the gender of their children. But the comments on the article, the vitriol directed at *Megan* was unbelievable. How do these people conclude that it is any of their business what other people (total strangers) do with their own eggs, sperm and money? If I want to sway or do HT, how does that affect their lives? It is like some of these commentators want a medal for standing up on behalf of the values or morals they think society should have. I think they all need to go away and get a life of their own. If they don't care for it, they don't have to do it. Personally, I am tired of other people dictating what I should do.

I thought the USA was much more open-minded. I thought only Australians were the mind-your-business-for-you types. The government knows best attitude is rife here in Australia. Whenever gender selection is mentioned here, ill informed people talk about designer babies and the dangers of becoming like China with regard to gender imbalance. I am more concerned that we will become like China where the government tells us what we can and cannot do. Here in Australia our medical ethics council think that aborting a baby at 20 weeks on the basis of gender is much preferable to selecting one embryo from another prior to implantation.

So many people criticized *Megan* assuming she did not love her sons. It is not about not wanting your sons, it is about wanting a daughter too. My sons desperately want a sister. And as for the playing with God argument, what about curing cancer, IVF for infertility generally or organ transplants? If that isn't the use of science for the betterment of life and overall improvement in happiness, what is? I don't see gender selection as any different to that.

So how long will it be before gender selection is banned in the USA too?