It's so hard to be honest without being judged!

Hi Girls,

I'm completely new here, but I'm hoping I will feel at home.

I'm 24 years old and a mother of three, well, that is - I'm a mother of a baby angel called Lily and two healthy bouncy boys! I love my boys more than anything, but I long so much for a little girl that I ache.. I could physically cry at the thought of how much I want a little girl.

When I had my second son I had no idea about swaying, I was just sure that I would have a girl because, naively maybe, I figure my mum had 5 girls, so why shouldn't I have one!? Besides, I'd already had one little girl without doing anything special! So when I was told I was having another little boy I was happy, but still there were dark moments when I tried to convince myself they were wrong and i was in fact having a little girl. But of course he was a boy - I'm sorry to say that when he first was put into my arms it was with mixed emotions. I loved him, but he wasn't the baby I felt I wanted - thankfully those feeling very quickly vanished and I feel head over heels in love with my little guy.

Today I wouldn't want it differently! He is the cutest little thing on the planet - but it doesn't change the ache I feel.

My partner has agreed to try for another. But at the same time as being excited, I'm terrified. What if this one is another boy? What if I don't cope this time? Will I love a girl more than the boys? Is it really fair to want a girl when I got two boys, what if the boys grow up thinking I wanted them less!? And what if there is some sort of bit karma thing going on where the more I wish for a girl the more I'm setting myself up for another boy? I know I'm being silly..

The worst thing is that if I mention it to anyone that really I would like a girl they just kind of snub me and say with my medical history I should be grateful just to have the boys I got - which I AM! (I've got PCOS, had 5 miscarriages, one stillbirth and then my two boys).

Secretly, I'm hoping for twins. I know a lot of people frown upon wishing for twins because it's considerately more risky than a singleton, but I would love two boys, two girls - complete balance! But I know my partner will not want more after this one, which I respect.

As I am a complete novice and have only just discovered this site and the LE diet, I hope you wont mind me asking a few questions!?

I'm starting to do more relaxing things - like yoga and pilates. Can things like this sway? Like wise, will my weight sway? I'm overweight, trying to loose weight.. but it's proving a bit difficult, but I'm hoping the diet will help!

As I already mentioned I'm going to try the LE diet - how soon do I need to start it? Before I start TTC? Is it still OK to take the vitamins sold for women trying to TTC?

But I also need to take Clomid, to induce ovulation as I don't ovulate naturally - neither of my boys where conceived on it, but after my youngest was born my PCOS has worsened significantly. I have charted my periods for over a year now and haven't ovulated once, sadly. I also take metformin, which I have already read sways pink - but does Clomid sway any thing?

Also, do you need to worry about ovulation time on the LE diet or does it not matter when you have sex as long as you adhere to the diet?

Will you please pray for us?! I don't normally pray, but recently I have found myself begging, praying and wishing for a baby girl.

Thank you for taking your time to help a novice pink-swayer. :kissy:

Welcome!! No worries, this place is a real home for lots of ladies who feel exactly the same way as you. :) Okay, I'll have a stab at addressing your concerns:

-First, IMO, you really need to come to peace with the possibility of another DS. I know it's HARD, look at me I have 3 boys! But none of us can guarantee the outcome, we only hope to lean one way more than the other, and it might not work. So I hope you can really be honest in whether you will happily welcome another son if that's the outcome.

-Yoga and pilates, would depend on the type of yoga. Flow (vinyasa) and power yoga definitely not, because it's very much focused on muscle building and power, which is a 'male' concept. Hatha and 'relaxation' or meditative types are ok, but don't really count as 'exercise' for a pink sway. Same for pilates, it's ok if it's not a lot of muscle development exercises like pushup or lunge type moves but more relaxation. Relaxing is good though, destressing is good for pink but there's also a theory that long term life stress can sway pink too, go figure.

-overweight doesn't sway by itself, but the losing weight part of it sways pink. However, you have PCOS, and being overweight is part of that condition. Unfortunately, PCOS also sways blue strongly because of the increased testosterone. I don't know much about PCOS but I'm sure there're ladies on the boards that know a lot more. Difficulty in losing weight is also part of PCOS as far as I know.

-start the LE diet about 6 weeks, ideally, before your planned attempt. You don't want to take in unnecessary nutrients, so definitely no fertility aid herbal supplements, that sort of thing. Prenatals are your call. Many of us swaying pink are skipping the prenatal and multivitamins and just taking folic acid by itself. I believe Atomic recommends 1200-1600mcg folic acid for pink swayers.

-Clomid sways pink for sure, but PCOS sways blue. So it's probably good you need Clomid since it'll help offset the blue sway of the PCOS. If you're on Clomid you need to get preggo asap on it anyways, as it has risks and doctors won't let you stay on it more than 3 months at a time anyways. So it's irrelevant for you. In any case, timing/frequency is the least important part of the sway and might not sway anyways, so don't worry about that part.

And of course I'll pray for you - if you pray for me too! ;)

Thank you so much for your answer. It has certainly clarified many things and it puts the "fun" back into trying :giggle:.

When I first started out researching this I started on IG and found it very daunting with all the supps, mins and timings - but this seems to make much more sense to me (although I still have no clue who Tamara is!)

The yoga I do is only for relaxation and flexibility. It doesn't really build muscle, but does encourage metabolism and weight loss (she says!).

I'm hoping to be able to lower my testosterone levels to atleast be within "normal" for a woman by doing the diet and continuing with my metformin (I take 3 x 500mg a day, as prescriped by my doc).

The thing with having another boy.. It sort of strikes me in darker moments, and I'm more scared of the initial reaction. I know I would love another boy as much as a girl. I think its more the feeling of "hot dang - this is the final attempt" thats making me a bit more desperate. I have drawers full of baby clothes for boys and love taking it out and looking at it - and I have the perfect boy name(s) ready too (total planning over kill, but it helps my broodiness) + I wouldn't change my two boys for anything so another boy, well, he'd be as amazing as the two robot-fighting, sword-brandishing, dragon-slaying boys I got now! (I DO make very beautiful boys, if I do says so myself.. and no! The father has nothing to do with their cuteness.. its all "mummy genes"!:giggle:)

and of course I will pray for you!! Go :pinksperm:!!!

I totally get you on the 'missed opportunity' feeling, I think most everyone on GD feels that way!

It's funny, we have two neighbors with one of each, and another neighbor also with 3 boys. I'm jealous of the neighbors with both, and yet maybe they're jealous of my trio of blue. I think it's very common to wonder what it's like to have something you don't, kwim?

I try to feel better about either outcome by looking forward to spoiling the next one rotten. Most of our baby stuff is well worn/broken and most of the baby clothes are just plain worn out, so either way it'll be a fun shopping spree of little wee cute baby stuff!