Advice Please!!! ASAP

I've had my sway all planned out and I'm supposed to O on the 23 or the 24 (I'm guessing 23rd at night as I almost always have a 28, 29 days cycle)

Anyways, we're doing abstain for a few reasons.. mainly because I doubt DH could handle the frequent release and he may have an upcoming business trip which could mess things up. ANYWAYS, so we are doing abstain. His last release was Thursday night the 13th (11pm) and I'm assuming I'm going to ovulate on the 23rd or 24th as mentioned above. Our attempt was going to be at +OPK which I'm just guessing will be on friday or Saturday (21st,22nd) so that makes the abstain around 8-9 days.

My question is. Was I supposed to count back 7-10 days from OVULATION for abstain, or from ATTEMPT? I'm worried that this means the sperm will be 11day + old by the time they get to the eggs etc. I don't want to risk any birth defects etc and now I'm terrified. Should he release now which makes a 4.5 day abstain from attempt (7-8 day abstain at O?)

Ah, so confused and now I'm worried our sway is ruined. What are my options?!?!

UPDATE: I totally ruined my sway. I was stressing out way to much about this, read a bunch of the links Atomic posted about Abstaining and I got too freaked out. (For some reason I've always been overly concerned about Autism and those types of disorders and I kept thinking how deliberately decreasing quality of sperm can't help and how I'd always blame myself if something like that happened even if it wasn't due to abstaining. So DH released this afternoon. I'm on day 7 of my cycle.. usually ovulate day CD14 or CD15. I was hoping to do a slight cutoff as I always BD right through O for both my boys, sometimes twice a day.

Where do I go from here. Should we aim for 2 releases a day, and then do cutoff of 2 days (so only 5 days of frequent release)? I'm so lost.. but I know worry and stress raise T levels and I just couldn't stop worrying about the abstain.

Wish I could help but we have never tried to abstain, my DH would never go for that lol. Hope you get your answer.

it's from day of attempt, not ovulation. and 11 days is ok anyway. Some people think it's even better than 7 day.

Atomic - I pm'd you - I got all freaked out and DH released. What do I do now? I'm on CD7, usually ovulate on CD 14, 15. Is my sway a write off?

No, not at all, if you don't O till CD 14-16 that's still enough time. I would not switch to releasing, just stick with abstain even if it ends up only 6 days. If it's less than that, when comes time for your attempt, have him release once, dump it, and then DTD again as soon as possible and use the second batch for insemination.