This is never going to happen

Why is it that when we are not ttc, DH is up for dtd all the time. Now that we are TTC, he is only in the mood once or twice a month. I can't take this every month. We dtd on the 24th and I haven't Od yet. I tried to get him to tonight (26th) but he isn't cooperative. He put this time restraint on us to get preggo before my birthday, which gives us about 4 more cycles. I can't stop thinking about this and I can't stop crying. Seriously, dude, you don't want to dtd now, do you think I'm gonna want to after we stop ttc because I am "too old"...ever again? I am so over this. I can't stop crying over this. He was just laying there, like, "whatever, it's not gonna work." He doesn't care....

I'm sorry to hear you're so discouraged. TTC is so stressful on everybody involved, especially on a deadline. Honestly though, just from reading what he said I'm wondering if he is actually feels like he is failing you because he hasn't given you a girl, or depending on how long you've been trying, maybe that he hasn't gotten you pregnant yet? Guys have a lot of pressure on them to "perform". I'm sure he really does care, or he wouldn't have agreed to trying in the first place. But I know that won't make you feel any better right now. Anyway, you didn't ask for advice but we're here to listen. I'm in month 8 and not feeling very sunshiney myself. :sigh:

On a lighter note, a couple of months ago we were- uh- trying really hard to finish, squeezing in a right-at-o last attempt during a very hectic week, when hubby pulled a muscle and was- uh- rendered unable to go on. He's in pain, and here I was totally STEAMED and then- I start BAWLING. It was awful for both of us. I haven't shared that before, that was just for you. :bigsmile: Ohhh, the TTC rollercoaster.

P.S.- It'll happen.

Oh man, I am so sorry! I don't have the right words for you and I know I can't make it better, but just know that we are here for you!

I know exactly what you mean. I basically told my DP that i am giving up on ttc 8 months into our sway. I stopped charting and doing opks. I said if it is going to happen it will but i am no longer trying for it. The sex went back to when we felt in the mood and he was much happier with that. Then 2 months later it did happen and it was a big happy surprise for us both.

I agree with cravingsalt; I'm sure he does care but he's maybe a bit overwhelmed by the whole TTC/swaying palaver. My DH almost got offended when the preseed and OPKs appeared last week and pointed out that we've only been trying for two cycles! I think he finds it all a bit clinical and basically said that he's happy to bd whenever (lol) but doesn't want to get caught up in the intricate details of my cycle.

Yeah, this is really for me, not really for him. He is perfectly content to call our family complete, but knowing that I want to try for the girl, he's willing. I am all over the boards, FF, charts, etc. He isn't and doesn't get it. He was putting the blame on me, that I was still nursing (1 time every other day or so which I have since quit.) I really don't think that was it, but who knows. I never tested PH before swaying, so I don't know what I was "naturally", but now I am running around 4.5 or 5, so maybe that is part of it? My OPK line is there today, not quite dark enough, but darker than it has been, so if I can get him to DTD tonight we may not be out this month after all. This is so stressful, I hate ttc but I don't want to waste a cycle. Thanks for listening ladies!