Fear of what?

I do not know if I am in the right place to vent and or ask advice but have decided to try swaying for a daughter,but have a HUGE fear and great doubt. I have two wonderful boys,with my first pregnancy I wanted a boy so bad and got him,with my second I wanted a girl very bad,did not get her,I was so very devastated,and strugeled the rest of the pregnancy and felt I was cheated not to get a daughter,once my son was born I felt sooooooooooooooooooo much guilt and bonded with him in an instant it was so amazing I love him so INCREDIABLY much,its almost like the Gd caused my bond to be stronger to him once he entered the world.Like many can agree I would never exchange him for a hundred girls!But I do have reservations that if my sway "fails" that I will again have GD and what if it is much much worse.I would without doubt love another son,but will be saying goodbye to the dream of a daughter.My fear is really real !!!do I just bite the bullet or wait?any advice? my boys are 8.5yrs and 14mths.

I think maybe you should wait and think about it... Swaying is not a guarantee and you should have a baby cause u want a baby so then sex doesn't matter as much... I have three boys and wanted my 3rd to be a girl so bad but he's a boy... I never had GD... I only tried for a fourth time cause I wanted a baby not just a baby girl...

I think you need to think about it a bit more....

wanting a girl, how do you know it's a boy already?

Aussiemato2, your not alone, there are a few women here ttc a girl who feel the same way, I am one of them! I love my boys soooooo much and feel blessed to have 2 happy healthy boys. I also dream and pray for a little girl!

I suffered GD with DS2, I wanted to find out gender at my scan to enable me to deal with feelings before he arrived, it worked!

I have had to make the decision whether to continue to expand my family and risk having DS3 or stop with my 2, I decided that I want another child in this house (would feel like someone was missing otherwise) boy or girl, I know there is a chance it will be a boy but am swaying and doing as best I can in an attempt to push the odds in favour of a girl! It is a scary process and I am always second guessing my decisions but when (fingers crossed) I get a BFP I will know I have done all I can!

Just know you are not on your own!

If HT is an option for you or at least something you can think about go that route, other wise you are taking a gamble, its really good when it works out in your favour but not so good the other way, swaying is not 100%

I think she know's swaying isn't a 100% and I completly know how you feel, I have two boy's as well and each of them have a special place in my heart. I will be honest I was terrified at the thought of swaying cuz it's not a 100% and that's what scared me. but swaying is something where we can try and up our odds of our DG and I think if you truely want another child and want a girl and don't want to go HT, atleast with swaying and whatever the outcome is atleast you knew at the end of the day you did what you could to sway your odd's, and if it's a girl that would just be wonderful and if it's another boy at least you knew you did what you could and you won't have any ( what if's) in the back of your mind and if it is a boy thenmaybe you can find peace in your heart to stop at that and just know you did what you could to get a girl. ( make sense). Which way you decide but know you will have ton's of support from these ladies if you decide to sway and they help every second along the way.:happy:

I understand how you feel. I have a lot of guilt because I experienced GD with my second boy. I was one big pity party for myself a few months ago, and then only a few weeks after finding out the gender we also found out that he wasn't going to make it. But I think this experience has helped me get into a mindset where I would be fine with either gender when we TTC again, as in even if it is another boy I would be over the moon happy despite having swayed. I think if you're not in a place like that, then maybe swaying isn't the best option for you and you should seriously consider going HT instead or just waiting for a time where you would be more at peace with potentially having a third boy.

If I may, I don't think Wanting knows it's a boy yet. What she's saying is that she's sure she's not risking GD and is definitely in a place where she will love and bond with either gender.

I 100% agree. Swaying isn't even close to 100%. It may not even be 50%, tbh. If you tend towards either gender then swaying *may* bring you towards your desired gender, but if you start at, say 90% likelihood of making blue, and you sway then any increase over 10% of having a girl is still a sway. But it still doesn't mean you are LIKELY to have a girl, kwim?

I always caution people to please, please, for your sake and the unborn child, don't try until you KNOW you want a baby. It's of course understandable to have GD, and if we're on this board we've all been there!, but you really have to know that you will be happy with another boy if you try again.

Personally I would've TTC again years ago for #4 if I knew it was to be a girl, but I knew I couldn't deal with GD. It wasn't until this year that I knew I was ready to have another baby, period. And I can tell you 100% for sure that if it's another boy, I will be as over the moon as if it were a girl. If you can't say the same, then please wait until you do or look into HT.

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Originally Posted by LacePrincess

If I may, I don't think Wanting knows it's a boy yet. What she's saying is that she's sure she's not risking GD and is definitely in a place where she will love and bond with either gender.

I 100% agree. Swaying isn't even close to 100%. It may not even be 50%, tbh. If you tend towards either gender then swaying *may* bring you towards your desired gender, but if you start at, say 90% likelihood of making blue, and you sway then any increase over 10% of having a girl is still a sway. But it still doesn't mean you are LIKELY to have a girl, kwim?

I always caution people to please, please, for your sake and the unborn child, don't try until you KNOW you want a baby. It's of course understandable to have GD, and if we're on this board we've all been there!, but you really have to know that you will be happy with another boy if you try again.

Personally I would've TTC again years ago for #4 if I knew it was to be a girl, but I knew I couldn't deal with GD. It wasn't until this year that I knew I was ready to have another baby, period. And I can tell you 100% for sure that if it's another boy, I will be as over the moon as if it were a girl. If you can't say the same, then please wait until you do or look into HT.

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lace congrats on your bfp hun xx

I thankyou all for your encouraging and supportive words.I understand all of your points. I wouldn't be unhappy with another boy,just letting go of that dream to parent a girl.(not sure if I could go on to have a fourth) Although my husband and I have somewhat agreed to maybe go HT for a girl if the third is a boy.The problem I have with HT is that you are not guaranteed a baby at the end of it let alone a specific gender,there are numerous things that can go wrong....... the potential for none of the embryos to be of the DG, or you could get the gender of choice but it or them may not stick, or even miscarriage ,even with PGD.plus having to pay for more than one cycle! I am not convinced that the financial expense outways "just a potential" chance of getting the DG! The $17,000 could go to the children I already have.even with my age my chance in one cycle is about 60% success- that's for the ivf not necessarily the PGD.I guess as a last resort it is an option.last year I was 100% all about HT until I really researched my options and outcomes.I am sure alot of ladies out there experienced it too,but as much as I want a daughter I feel my closest bond will always be with my "GD" boy! Its incrediable,I think I put it down to guilt of being "disappointed" at first! of course I love my first son the same ,but I wanted a boy first ,sorry if that sounds crazy-but I know what I mean.lol.again,Thankyou ladies I believe I have came to the right place for support and I have now decided to sway- I already paid for my personal sway plan- so wish me luck and extra pink sparkly baby dust! lol.