extreme gender desire - how to handle ??

Okay, I know I am being irrational, crazy…. Blah blah blah.
I was born and bought up in India and always felt like girls were not treated equally on some level… we were fed and educated the same but our birthdays were not a big deal where as our brother were and thousand more small things like that. So I became kind of a feminist and always loved girls more…if someone is family had given birth to a second or third girl I was the one to rush and celebrate, argue with elders who wanted a boy.
Here came the time I got pregnant the first time and I wanted a boy because husband’s family has all girls and everybody is expecting a boy from us. I wanted the pressure to be off if it was a boy but I was blessed with the most beautiful daughter. I had some GD but manageable and I love her to death. 2012 was the year to TTC our second and final child, I was so stressed about having another girl that I was convincing my husband for high tech gender selection but he said god wants to give us whatever is best for us. I started looking into natural swaying and BFP in Nov 2012. Now I am extremely nervous about baby’s gender. My FIL has some health problems and all he wants from us is a “grandson’, I know that if we have another girl his final wish would remain unfulfilled. I feel like if this is baby is a girl I will fail my family …. And I am not a good daughter in law. My husband’s brother has 3 girls and the pressure is on for us. I am not enjoying this pregnancy much ( extreme morning sickness) but all I care about is the gender of the baby. My biggest fear is that baby is a girl and How will I handle that…
All of this is stupid given that I love girls in general. I don’t know how will I gather the courage to handle the news. We will have 20 weeks scan in March middle.

Anybody felt the same? How did you handle it?

Hi prayforaboy. I didn't want to read and run. I am on the eve my 20 week scan here and I don't really know how I will react tomorrow if I hear girl. At the start I was convinced that I am having a girl but I am still hoping deep down to hear boy. My only saving hope is that I want at least 4 children and this one is my 2nd so I have 2 more chances to get my son. If this was my last then I know I would feel very different. I really hope you hear boy in a few weeks time.

Pearl - I have a feeling that you will hear boy tomorrow.... I will so happy if it is a boy for you . I will enjoy a big sunday icecream if tomorrow is BOY day for you.

My biggest fear is - This is our last baby :( ..... and I would never have a son.

can't imagine what it must feel like to know tomorrow.... Good luck!!!! till now did you have similar pregnancy as your daughter? any nub guesses? any indication at either gender?
For me - pretty similar pregnancy with slightly worst MS, Chinese calender says girl, heartbeat - 158, no nub in the 13 weeks scan, mixed guesses on skull theory, had dreams of a girl initially but last two dreams were boy. In short most tales indicate girl.

I am having a very similar pregnancy as DD and all the old wife tails last time and the Chinese charts and the full moon at conception all pointed to boy. I didnt look them up this time. The only difference is that I am less tired this time. Before the kicking started 6 weeks ago I would have to remind myself that I was in fact pregnant. It is a wait and see game now.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. It seems like the mothers are the ones who always shoulder the worries over stuff like this. I agree with Void that if it weren't for society and other people's reactions we probably wouldn't have GD and if we did it would be minimal. In my case I was the one who worried that I would never have a son an I wouldn't be able to give my parents or my inlaws a grandson since me and DH are only children. After I had my second DD I said I was definitely done having children and I was upset I could never give my family a boy. I'm so happy that DH and I changed our minds about more children or I would of never got a chance to meet my little boy. When he was born I thought it would feel so different because I was finally getting the boy I always wanted but it feels the same as when I had the girls, the same kind of love. I hope that you hear boy but if you don't you are not a failure, you grew a beautiful human being who will love you unconditionally, and it won't matter what anyone thinks.

Beautiful replies you guys.... Void n dloui you made me cry. You guys are so right... Baby is a blessing .... I need to start feeling positive. I think dh will handle in laws but it's just me thinking blah blah ..