Being happy VS having GD

It is amazing, I see so many pictures on my husband's friend's list on facebook of families with either 3 girls or 3 boys and then I click to look at pictures and they are all happy picutres. These people are living life, going out. I have no clue on how they deal with the comments.

Me, on the other hand, since I had #3, I still do not go out in public with all 3. I love DD3, but clearly this is not how I wanted my life to pan out.

I just do not get why others accept, go on and are happy, and I have GD and the baby is already 11 months old.

My dh even tells me after trying HT we have to count on 90% it not working. Then he says "will you then hate me" and say I cannot make boys. Will you be even more miserable to say all this money and it did not work. Or will you be thrilled that you at least tried.

I look at these pictures of 3 boys or 3 gilrs, and say "How could they possibly be happy and not want that boy or girl"? I just do not get what is different with them and not me.

I know if I do not have a boy, I will carry this with me forever. Yes, I may go on with my life eventually but the desire will never leave me.

I guess some people are just TRULY satisfied with their family make up (all gilrs/boys)- which is beyond me....
I know couple who adopted 2 girls because they couldn't have biological kids and 2 girls were always their dream family http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/s...onfused004.gif
I guess you already know some poeple are aiming for 3 girls for perfect family make up ( there was 1 lady on IG, Grl4Bekah who always wanted 3 girls, but got boy as a 1st child, but in 1 post she said she'll keep swaying for her 3 girls no matter how many boys she gets on the way....)
So, my 'wise' conclusion would be that everyone is different and that there are many out there who envy you big time.

You know, reading Gender Dissapointment from moms w/boys only helped me a lot, and I mean A LOT to accept what God meant for me. But I understand you, the desire for a boy is stucked in my mind and heart and it's not likely it will go away ever.:worry:

Its strange because the women who aked me 2x already and claims she does not remember asking me the 1st time on what I have as far as my children tells me that she wanted 3 boys. She has 1 girl and 2 boys. I have 3 girls.

But with the comments like even my new babysitter, I told my DH it better not F---- come out of her mouth about me having 3 girls. Then he tells me everyone comments on stuff not realizing tha that you have GD.

I always try to give everyone a heads up and say "we had a 3rd girl and we are happy". Or I am warning you "do not ask me when I am having the boy if you interview to watch my kids".

Then sometimes after I tell somebody I had the 3rd girl they completely say something like I never even told them.

My friend tells me to tell them my dh only shoots out girls. I would never say something like that. That makes me feel worse. I know she was just trying to help me. I told her about pgd and she was so against it.

I am sure in time I will eventually go out with all 3. It is work especially the ages 8, 4 and 11 months.

Thanks so much.

I am you 2 years ago. I have been there and I know what you are feeling. I had that moment after my BFN from my fresh HT cycle when I had to come to grips with reality and realize that this may be it for me. Going through the HT process really provided clarity for me. I realized that the radical lenghts I would go to to make something happen had to have a limit- both for financial and mental health reasons. I think what your husband asked you is a great question. What happens if it doesn't work? What does that mean for him is what he wants to know. I think sometimes we forget about how our disappointment in our circumstances can make our loved ones feel like they are not good enough. I think those of us on here are very lucky to have supportive husbands whether it be swaying or HT. I think his question is one that you should ponder and he obviously is feeling pressure and concerned with how this may play out for both you and him.

Do you do anything for yourself? I know for me, life was and is still about my kids since I am a SAHM and I think it is so critical to find something that is yours, something you like to do- hang out with a group of friends weekly, a sport, working out, etc but something in this life has to be yours and must have nothing to do with your DH or your kids. You must get out. People that live in caves only see shadows. You need to see the light!

[QUOTE=nuthinbutpink;26860]I am you 2 years ago. I have been there and I know what you are feeling. I had that moment after my BFN from my fresh HT cycle when I had to come to grips with reality and realize that this may be it for me. Going through the HT process really provided clarity for me. I realized that the radical lenghts I would go to to make something happen had to have a limit- both for financial and mental health reasons. I think what your husband asked you is a great question. What happens if it doesn't work? What does that mean for him is what he wants to know. I think sometimes we forget about how our disappointment in our circumstances can make our loved ones feel like they are not good enough. I think those of us on here are very lucky to have supportive husbands whether it be swaying or HT. I think his question is one that you should ponder and he obviously is feeling pressure and concerned with how this may play out for both you and him.

I am hoping that if things do not work out at least I know that I tried. I am hoping this but I cannot predict how I will feel. I am in therapy already so I would continue.

Do you do anything for yourself? I know for me, life was and is still about my kids since I am a SAHM and I think it is so critical to find something that is yours, something you like to do- hang out with a group of friends weekly, a sport, working out, etc but something in this life has to be yours and must have nothing to do with your DH or your kids. You must get out. People that live in caves only see shadows. You need to see the light!

I pretty much color my hair when I need to or take a break from the kids when I can like today DH took my older ones to his family. So I just got a break and I am with the baby, but what do I do for a break come on this site LOL. I guess for myself right now is I come on here I go on ingender. I go out when I drive my daughter to and from preschool and I talk to some of the mothers there. I pretty much go where I have to go.

But I do not socialize and go out like I used to when I had only 2 daughters. I function when I have to be out there. But I find I rather avoid situations because of dumb comments.

I go out on weekends with the family. I guess just though during the week I do not go and come like I used to. Like things I used to do daily, I stopped doing because of comments and because of my daughter in preschool and that breaks up the day.

Well, I wish you could find something that was just for you that you can do once a week atleast...some sort of class, go out for a drink with an old friend...find something else to talk about that doesn't involve our kids! Like before we had them, I know we could carry on a conversation! Try to find something that is yours to help remove some of the stress about wanting a boy. I know it will not make it go away but I think it would help get you back out there and let you step out of the mom-role every so often.

Motherhood can be very lonely and you locking yourself up just because you have 3 girls is just no way to live. You have to get out there. You can do it. Your post reads like you are embarrassed that you have girls and no boy which I can relate to because it made me feel weak and I hated that. But, you have a lot to look forward to, really you do. It's hard when they are so young and you get bogged down in the pink, the baby girl stuff. They grow up. Quickly. They are going to need you to be present and I am glad you are in therapy to help you work through this. It is nice to have someone to talk to in real life.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

Well, I wish you could find something that was just for you that you can do once a week atleast...some sort of class, go out for a drink with an old friend...find something else to talk about that doesn't involve our kids! Like before we had them, I know we could carry on a conversation! Try to find something that is yours to help remove some of the stress about wanting a boy. I know it will not make it go away but I think it would help get you back out there and let you step out of the mom-role every so often.

Motherhood can be very lonely and you locking yourself up just because you have 3 girls is just no way to live. You have to get out there. You can do it. Your post reads like you are embarrassed that you have girls and no boy which I can relate to because it made me feel weak and I hated that. But, you have a lot to look forward to, really you do. It's hard when they are so young and you get bogged down in the pink, the baby girl stuff. They grow up. Quickly. They are going to need you to be present and I am glad you are in therapy to help you work through this. It is nice to have someone to talk to in real life.

---

Thanks very much.

I speak to my therapist biweekly.

I have my good and bad days also.

I think after I loose this last 10 pounds I will feel better also.

I have 4 girls and we are happy. At first after DD4 I was thinking like this...like everyone is looking at us with the 4 girls and so on so on. But somehow it just gone...I don't even care and I don't think others looking at us.
Yes we still wish for a boy but still we are happy!

I know a lot of people who do not care about the GENDER so that's why they don't have GD and I'm sure that's why they don't really care about any comments.

But MOST of the people who don't care about the gender they got boys. I noticed alot of people wanting boys more than girls :( and especially in my community :thumbsdown::thumbsdown::thumbsdown:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Flava

I have 4 girls and we are happy. At first after DD4 I was thinking like this...like everyone is looking at us with the 4 girls and so on so on. But somehow it just gone...I don't even care and I don't think others looking at us.
Yes we still wish for a boy but still we are happy!

---

:agree:I like how you think.