My inputs to newbies/ desperate moms :)

Disclaimer – I am bitter from my failed boy sway but my inputs below are not emotional but an attempt to provide information . I have got a lot of support from this forum and want to contribute some of my own thoughts.
We have a beautiful DD, swayed for a boy for couple of months and got BFP in NOV 2012. We were very happy and I just assumed that sway is going to result in a boy because my DD for result of BDing O-5 days. I was fully convinced that swaying works. Now I had pretty strong preference for boy because in our society more than 2 kids are considered insane ( just the culture because of overpopulation). I had my hopes pretty high because I thought that swaying made odds in my favor. But on 20 weeks apt we got the news that we are having another DD. I was shattered… disappointed….. in denial … you name it and I was that person. It has been 43 days since I found out that I am having a DD and have been through a lot of emotions. I have been through horrible feelings like I wish this pregnancy will go away or give her up for adoption….I had extreme gender disappointment. I am doing much better now and today when I heard her heartbeat … I had tears in my eyes with joy. I want her to be healthy and strong and I will love her no matter what and if I cannot give up my dream of a boy than we will go for a third by HT.
I wish I had known or I should say understood – If your gender preference is very strong and it is your last try please do not rely on swaying only. Now most of you know it already but people like me just pin their hopes too much on swaying. I do not believe much on swaying now but that’s my personal opinion. I wish that I had UNDERSTOOD that sway does not work many times and either be ready to accept that your sway very well might fail or go high tech. I know that lot of people have issues with HT ( moral or financial) but in my case I could have totally gone for HT . And that is making my GD so much more worst…I have regrets..... I cannot say I did everything I could and it was out of my hands.......I feel like I knew about HT but just hoped that swaying would work..... I had extreme preference ( which I didn't realize at that time) I should have gone HT and not rely on sway.

I cannot go back in time and change my life but I hope that my story helps people who are in similar situation. I can never have my dream family of XX and XY but I hope you all get your dream gender.

HT is for those that know they don't just want a baby but they have accepted that the only reason to have another child is to have a gender guarantee. It's hard to admit to yourself but if you can afford it financially, in many ways it is much easier than swaying.

Swaying is hard- both emotionally and the discipline that is required to endure it. But there are no guarantees with swaying in regards to gender. I believe it can and does work though. We have some fairly high success rates so far from our member base. It's not really fair to say "it doesn't work" because it didn't work for you. That's not very supportive for the 1,000s of people on here everyday that are staying the course, making the effort to sway.

I'm glad HT is an option for you. It's an awesome option. The gift of a sister to your current daughter is priceless.

HT is a big, high stakes gamble so although the grass seems greener right now, it doesn't mean you're surrounded by weeds.

Swaying can and does work but just like HT, there is no guarantee. That's my opinion.

You literally wrote the same post i did around this time last year ,except i was finding out i was having DS5 , had the same horrible thoughts as you ,regreted so much that i just didnt do HT in the first place, put all of my faith in swaying only to have my dreams and hope come crashing down at the ultrasound, i got caught up in the posts about it working and the excitment for those mums instead of focusing on the posts about it NOT working and what those mums were going through,that was my mistake.
Well fast foward he is here and was the love of my life from the moment he was born , i didnt even double check he was a boy when he came out ,i just loved him so much ,my family and DH could barely get him off me for a cuddle and he is still like that now, he is has also been the easiest, chilled little baby
It gets better i promise, and im still doing HT next year anyway ,i just had an extra amazing little boy along the way ,looking into and planning HT and having some real hope that i will have a girl has helped my GD heaps
Swaying is a gamble and i tell everyone i know who asks me about having an opposite ,i just tell them about HT ,its still a gamble but just not as much as swaying in my opinion
Im glad your doing better now:bighug:

Thanks for posting this. I am starting to think high tech is a better option for me two. We can not afford it but will not start trying for at least 1-2 years so who knows if by then our finances have changed. I only wanted three children and would have stopped had I gotten the girl I want so much so as much as I would love another baby, I will be very sad if it is another boy and have to give up my dream of having a daughter. Since DP had 3 sons before our 3 I know it is a very real chance that swaying still wont work for us and with the longing I feel for a daughter now, think it would be smarter to do HT if we can.
Hopefully with this new outrage about the 19 week gender abortion along with the fact they were going to review the ban on gender selection in Australia in the next few years, it will be approved thus much more attainable for me

I just wanted to say...that I come from a family of girls (albeit half-sisters), and I'm so glad that I have my sisters. I know that it hurts right now (and I DO, I swayed for a boy too) but your daughters will never know this. I hope you can find peace somehow...I'm thinking of you...

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Originally Posted by 1+2+3boys

Thanks for posting this. I am starting to think high tech is a better option for me two. We can not afford it but will not start trying for at least 1-2 years so who knows if by then our finances have changed. I only wanted three children and would have stopped had I gotten the girl I want so much so as much as I would love another baby, I will be very sad if it is another boy and have to give up my dream of having a daughter. Since DP had 3 sons before our 3 I know it is a very real chance that swaying still wont work for us and with the longing I feel for a daughter now, think it would be smarter to do HT if we can.
Hopefully with this new outrage about the 19 week gender abortion along with the fact they were going to review the ban on gender selection in Australia in the next few years, it will be approved thus much more attainable for me

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I think you are on the right track. Maybe it would be a better investment of time to figure out how to afford HT than to be researching swaying. I think NBP puts it so well, HT is for those who want a specific gender and not just another baby.

Although I have been shocked at the number of people who aren't good candidates for HT. I have a dear friend who had a failed IG sway with DS2 and just assumed that she's go HT, but hence she doesn't have enough of some obscure hormone that she needs to do HT successfully....huh, who knew???

I am sure I could mortgage my life and scrape the money together for HT but I am at the point in life where I really want a boy, but I'd gladly take another girl if that is what life hands me.

I have had bad GD for over 4 years and I'm done. I want another baby and a girl can easily be another baby as can a boy!!

Hang in there prayforaboy. Life tends to happen exactly how its supposed to and you will see the reason for your DD2 in time.

Big hugs sweetie!

NBT - you are awesome and I agree with you completely.... My opinion is very personal about sway but I have read that it works for many people. My story is not for swayers it is for people like me who have extreme gender desire and yes my sway failed n I m in a very bad spot these days.... And yes I wanted another gender and not another baby. Sorry if I offended anybody but I still stand by my words .... Please understand that Sway do fail.