What convinced your DH?

For those of you that needed to convince your DH to go for another - what helped you both to get there? My DH and I only wanted 2 kids but I'm now hoping for a 3rd. I hope he really wants this in the future, not just agreeing because he loves me....but appreciate learning from your experiences. <p><p> I think he's worried about how stressed and tired we'll be with 3. Our life will officially be kid-filled...though I think it's there already with 2. My perspective is that we'll have the same amount of free time (the 90 min, at best, between kid bedtime and our bedtime) -- so if we can financially do it, what does it matter if we have 2 or 3.

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Originally Posted by ocean

For those of you that needed to convince your DH to go for another - what helped you both to get there? My DH and I only wanted 2 kids but I'm now hoping for a 3rd. I hope he really wants this in the future, not just agreeing because he loves me....but appreciate learning from your experiences. <p><p> I think he's worried about how stressed and tired we'll be with 3. Our life will officially be kid-filled...though I think it's there already with 2. My perspective is that we'll have the same amount of free time (the 90 min, at best, between kid bedtime and our bedtime) -- so if we can financially do it, what does it matter if we have 2 or 3.

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Agreed, my thinking and coercion was similar. And, after 3 kids, what is 4, we are already out numbered.

I told him we are getting to the point of no return with my age and it was time to just take the leap. He says we are in a bad financial situation, which we are, but in reality, is their ever a good time to have a baby??? NO....so we are going for it and we'll figure it out as we go. Life is more interesting that way.

Hmm... this is a tough one. My husband wasn't hard to convince about having a third (I went for the 'girl' angle and how awesome that would be). The fourth on the other hand... We had planned on 2-3 but never a fourth. We had a tough time after the third because of some health issues and a move away from family. It wasn't until our youngest was three until I could really talk about it without driving him totally crazy. He was willing to go HT, reluctantly. If we could guarantee a girl, he was okay with it. When that failed, I don't know... I guess since he never said 'no' outright, I just kept pushing. I know he only did it for me. He didn't want me to resent him down the road.

fwiw, if you can swing the finances, I don't think three is that much harder than two. I mean, yes, of course it is. With two, you can always divide and conquer. But you're right about the free time. Once the kids are a little older, it's just busier. And then if one is being annoying, the other two still have someone to play with. I'd say just give him time.

I think it depends on how well you handle the 2 you have. If you are able to get through the days without too much stress or complaining to DH, it will be a lot easier to discuss a third. I just told my DH I wanted a boy. He knew I at least wanted 3 before we got married though. Number 4 was a gender guarantee with HT.

As usual, helpful advice ladies. Nuthin - I think you're completely right, and it's already on my mind to keep my frustrations to myself as much as possible...as him thinking I'm depressed/overwhelmed is exactly what would keep him from wanting #3. Kid - I'm going to take your advice and just give him time. We wouldn't be doing anything for months anyway, so there's no rush to agree TODAY. I believe in my heart he will do this for me, if I want it enough. And I KNOW he wants a daughter. It's just the idea of more than 2 that (rightfully) concerns him...and me for that matter!! :)