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That because you have GD something will be wrong or happen to your baby. My 20 week scan is June 4th. I'm terrified something will be wrong. Almost like I don't deserve a healthy baby because I'm not appreciating him and bonding like I want to be. Despite my feelings of GD my main wish is a healthy child. I know it's crazy but I worry he will be able to feel my dissapointment and that I'm screwing him up before he even gets here.
i know that feeling/worry well. Nothing that you think or feel will affect your baby in terms of bad things happening. Any mother that experiences a loss or something wrong with her baby is not to blame. Emotions, even GD, are all apart of your body dealing with pregnancy and it so much better to deal with them than pretend you are ok. I hit rock bottom with my gd whilst pregnant with ds3, i feel so guilty for all those horrible things i thought at the time, still do now. On the other hand it was not related to my little boy just to the idea of another boy. Luckily i had the support of my family and i dealt with my gd way before he was born and was nothing but excited to meet him. As bad and as guilty as you feel you are better to deal with it now when it is directed at a theoretical baby than your baby at birth. You cannot help your feelings so please don't feel guilty for them; your baby really won't know the difference and the fact that you are so concerned shows you must a loving mother and will be ok whatever the outcome.
Good luck with your scan, i hope you get your DG but either way that you find peace with the outcome x
Yup. I think it's a pretty common thought. Both of GD moms and of moms getting their DG (like something will be wrong/go wrong simply for being grateful for getting ones hope). Moms take on a lot of guilt for emotions that just don't and can't affect the baby. Think of how many unwanted pregnancies would "disappear" (sorry to use such a bad analogy, but it is true) if negative thoughts could actually cause physical changes.
And I think you will find tons of women on here with healthy GD babies who can attest that no negative thought they ever had affected their adored GD baby (and I think you will happily find that most moms who experience GD end up closer to the GD child than they could have imagined...they are, in fact, adored).
Hugs. Enjoy your ultrasound and seeing your sweet baby!
I know the gender I had some brown spotting at 15 weeks and it was super obvious its another boy. The tech was 100% sure. I do have moments where I hope she was wrong (she's not)
You are very right I can't help my feelings as badly as I want to. I hope and pray I have this dealt with by the time he's here.
That is so true I've had several friends who had babies before they were ready and their children are healthy and they love them to bits. The guilt is eating me alive. I do have times I feel ok and almost excited. I need to start focusing on those moments instead of tormenting myself with the other feelings.
You will.....we don't give enough credit to how different it will be when we have a needy baby in our arms as opposed to a baby of our un-desired gender in our stomach.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fae
The questions about your baby are so annoying when you are pregnant and the gender mystery still remains but when you have a sweet baby to hold and kiss, its a different world.
Hang in there mama, its not forever you will feel like this.