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Has anyone ever had twins of the opposite gender to what you really wanted?
All I wanted was a little girl for number two but I got twin boys and that stole my one last chance I would have used to try and have a girl. It's a unique experience but I know I can't be the only one.
They are amazing and I am grateful for them and wouldn't change them but I can't help but feel like I am the subject of a joke sometimes
I'm sorry :( I imagine that was a bit of a "blow" to your plans!
When we were preggo with our third (four has always been our number), my MIL (whom I despise) kept saying and joking that we were having twin boys. Our second pregnancy was twins early on, likely identical (although impossible to truly know, they shared a sac), and we lost one. So she kept saying she bet we would have twins again and they would be our 3&4th boys. I don't know if it malicious or just her way of coping with the potential for no granddaughter any time soon. I wasn't too bothered by it, my GD has never been terribly strong, just an idle yearning. But it was annoying, since it would have "taken away" our last chance at getting a girl. Which would be a double blow to cope with. So I can at least empathize a bit.
Twins are really special in their own right. And I bet pretty challenging! Hopefully you can come to peace with having your three guys. Or you decide a 4th is in the cards ;)
Thanks :) Sorry you lost one so early on. Twins certainly are a stressful and alot more complicated pregnancy so I am very lucky to have them. Everyone was saying I would have twins cos they were due again in the family. I feel very lucky indeed and they would not be who they are today if they were girls. I thought I was at peace with my three guys, hence my signature but the most random things can spark it (like the twin girls born and due soon on this site)Quote:
Originally Posted by hotdogz&boyz
I count myself lucky cos my friend was having twins and one died just before birth, her one daughter and now she has 4 sons, the youngest two twins. She never wanted a daughter after losing her first so I guess everyone copes with that differently. She is so string and the most awesome boy Mumma I know. I'm so glad to have both my boys here with me. I will see how their toddlerhood goes as to if we decide to have another.
I had twin boys first up. I just assumed they'd be girls as all the sets of twins I knew were girls. How dumb is that? Also I had two stepsons so I figured we were 'due' a girl. Obviously it doesn't work that way! I didn't even realise I had such a strong preference for a girl until I found out at the u/s they were both boys. Being fraternal chances were pretty good for at least one girl. The u/s crushed me - I couldn't breathe - I cried and was so upset for months. Ridiculous given I had 2 healthy babies but at the time it felt like the end of the world.....
The whole experience gave me a chance to really think about why I really wanted a girl and all the assumptions I'd been making and I realised it is largely all about having another go at a mother/daughter rel'ship as my mother and I come from different planets. It's never been a good rel'ship. And I've accepted that at 40yrs of age I probably can't fix it or change who she is or I am. But I adore my twins and it has been an amazing experience. They are nearly 5 now and DH finally agreed to let me do HT for a DD and she is nearly 8mths old. I just couldn't let it go.....
Thanks, nice to hear your story and that you got your daughter that you wanted. My Mum and I are from opposite planets too! TBH I really am glad that my boys are identical because I think it would have hurt more knowing I had had two chances for a girl in one go and still didn't get one.Quote:
Originally Posted by MatildaMai
Hang in there girl. Maybe you will want to try again? Don't give up! We have 4 sons/ Each time I see a "hot dog" on the ultrasound screen for the first time, I solemnly swear no more kids. We are now looking into our 6th child in hopes for our first daughter together. What I tell my self and my friends with 3+ boys is that; God is just building up an army of boys to protect their one day sister. ;)
That is a very sweet way of putting it! Our boys have all been very obvious on ultrasounds too so if the next is a girl I think I will be able to tell. Goodluck to youQuote:
Originally Posted by sushikitty
I am sorry, that sucks . My mother and I are also from different planets. No mother daughter relationship at all. I always say if I have a third boy then God is preparing me for a very special grand daughter/daughter in law. My mother in law is so amazing she calls us her daughters . Her and I are closer than I am with my own mom. I think I was blessed with her. Who knows, there maybe another person out there looking for a mil like me.
What is HT for a DD?
HT stands for High Tech meaning IVF with Pre Determined Gender testing to garentee the gender if you get pregnant. It may cover a few other thigns but I am not sure. DD stands for dear or darling daughterQuote:
Originally Posted by Beckey