Timing and tweaking?

the more I read the more confused I get...so thought I should ask :worry:
DH has chosen to FR over abstaining. What he doesn't get is when?
My AF is ALWAYS 4days. so that would be CD 1-4. Then I always get EWCM about 10 days after that (cd 14?), which lasts for 2-3 days and then again around 4 days after that (cd 21 - 22) which lasts, normally, 24hrs. I always assume that I O at some point on first EWCM (doc says that so many days of EWCM could indicate a double O and need to be careful with the soy). I don't use OPKs as can't really justify the cost and I intend to start BBT charting when AF starts this month (should be 17th) so I'll have two months of charting from cd1 BBT.

DH asks:
But does he FR every day for 7 days prior to O (cd 4-11)?
Should he stop after 7days or just FR every day until CD 14 and then BD for the next few days (cd14 -18)?
Should he FR during AF (he'd be alone in that lol)?

I've kinda went on LE diet but find it hard to obtain the foods required (our food shopping meets kids needs over ours and (again) I can't justify the cost of buying food just for me) - but have cut out meat and started drinking tons of full-fat milk, as well as cardio 30mins a day. Have SI good to go in Sept (when we'll TTC our pink bundle) and have ordered a ton of folic acid as been told to start taking 1200mcg a day to help with sway.

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Originally Posted by Coyleof7

the more I read the more confused I get...so thought I should ask :worry:
DH has chosen to FR over abstaining. What he doesn't get is when?
My AF is ALWAYS 4days. so that would be CD 1-4. Then I always get EWCM about 10 days after that (cd 14?), which lasts for 2-3 days and then again around 4 days after that (cd 21 - 22) which lasts, normally, 24hrs. I always assume that I O at some point on first EWCM (doc says that so many days of EWCM could indicate a double O and need to be careful with the soy). I don't use OPKs as can't really justify the cost and I intend to start BBT charting when AF starts this month (should be 17th) so I'll have two months of charting from cd1 BBT.

DH asks:
But does he FR every day for 7 days prior to O (cd 4-11)?
Should he stop after 7days or just FR every day until CD 14 and then BD for the next few days (cd14 -18)?
Should he FR during AF (he'd be alone in that lol)?

I've kinda went on LE diet but find it hard to obtain the foods required (our food shopping meets kids needs over ours and (again) I can't justify the cost of buying food just for me) - but have cut out meat and started drinking tons of full-fat milk, as well as cardio 30mins a day. Have SI good to go in Sept (when we'll TTC our pink bundle) and have ordered a ton of folic acid as been told to start taking 1200mcg a day to help with sway.

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You should drop the cardio. Anything under 60 mins you risk building muscle, raising Testosterone - swaying boy.

To me it sounds like you NEED to be using OPKs because of your symptoms. You can buy them very cheaply online if you want to save some money (although they can be difficult to use). I would at least do it for one month so you know what's going on.


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Definately won't be buying any opks - I'm highly fertile (so know I ovulate). Simply can't justify the costs, even cheap ones. We are "light swayers" as opposed to "heavy swayers". Meaning I'll try somethings, but not everything and I won't spent money on this. If we get another boy, then so be it - there'll be no disappointment - but we'd like to TRY for a girl, to even things out a bit. That's all - it's not our world, it's not getting the chance to take over - the minute, the SECOND, I spend more money (bought SI and Folic Acid) on something for this, means it's getting a priority and I can't let that happen. This is not a rant at you or anyone else - just trying to be clear on how I'd like to do this and why.

Going to try diet, drop cardio and start BBT charting (as never done that before) to try and see which of the 3 days is O day - I can't see why I really need OPKS, if temps works just as well. But does anyone have advice for DH?

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?...I think if he ends up with 10-11days this is fine, but if ends up being more than 14days then that might significantly hurt your chances of conceiving (think that's the logic anyway, if I have understood it correctly!)

re OPKs - I understand what you are saying about the extra cost, esp if you would be really happy with a boy, I think the main advantage of them over temping is that they will tell you BEFORE you ovulate, when temps only really confirm once its happened.

I think if you have really regular as clockwork cycles, and you can have a few practice months with the temps before you start ttc, then you may be able to guess at O from temps alone with reasonable accuracy. But if you're cycles are irregular then it might be difficult.

Also are you planning on just one attempt each month?...I think this is getting good results for pink just now, and it is what I am trying first (but may re-think this if it takes me a while to get pg!)...I think if you do plan on one attempt the opks really do help with deciding when that one attempt should be in order to give you the best chance of conception (well they do for me anyway)....I got the cheapys for £7.90 for 50 of them from amazon.co.uk and always have good results from these (and obviously 50 lasts a while too!)...of course if you are set on not using them I completely understand, and not trying to "harp on" about it, just thought I would let you know the price I found, as it made a huge difference to me personally (as compared to the prices in boots, etc!)

As for diet, if you don't worry too much about sodium, its actually reasonably easy just to eat what everyone else is having minus the meat, and trying to be low fat where possible...just try and avoid snacking when you can. The only thing I would do different from what you described would be to cut out the full fat milk...I think high calcium is the IG way of doing things, and will quickly take your fat intake up on LE....however if you are sold on the calcium thing, then it would make more sense.

Good luck with your sway :)

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Originally Posted by coralsky

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?
I'm like clockwork lol that's why I'm only gonna temp for 2 months as should be able to tell when O will happen beforehand with that as I know it'll be the same for two months straight.

Also are you planning on just one attempt each month?
Planning on trying from September, hoping that baby will then be due around DH birthday or next two months will be our kids birthdays

As for diet, if you don't worry too much about sodium, its actually reasonably easy just to eat what everyone else is having minus the meat, and trying to be low fat where possible...just try and avoid snacking when you can.

Thanks for all this great advice! We weren't sure if it was 7 days up to and including O day or beforehand!! Also - my diet. I have a low sodium diet anyway, I don't use when cooking and never put it on food as I try to lead by example for my kids. I started drinking full fat milk as by cutting out meat and snacks, I'm really not getting fat from anywhere else as I'm only eating veg and some fruit as I'm not a huge fan of dairy products at the best of times (not vegan: everytime I get pregnant I crave dairy throughout, so by the time my babies have been born I'm just sick of the sight of cheese, ice cream, yoghurts etc.). I have, however, started eating a Mars bar everyday lol Oh - I've not even bothered with IG as they seem to recommend pumping yourself with clomid and on one post I read there was even a link on how to "bring it onto the country unprescribed" as some people heard it sways pink, but can't get it in the UK without a Dr and their Dr won't prescribe it unless there are fertility issues - one woman even said she faked infertility in order to try and get it....so I stopped going there as the site moderators should have been all over that.

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This is great advice thanks - he's very much looking forward to "doing his bit to help" lol but we're finding it very hard to "believe" if you know what I mean? We keep getting drawn into the "what if" conversation of boys names, etc - but never with girls? Does anyone else have that mistrust? I feel guilty writing that!! I'm happy blue/pink just want to see if we can make it our way, if that makes sense. I'm not trying to be insensitive to those who have their hearts set one way or the other, but I will be pleased either way - it's actually more my kids who want the "baby" sister as my boys have a big sister "who won't play with them" and she's fed up having "just little brothers" lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by coralsky

Hi there

I would say if you can make a regular and consistent guess at O day, then have DH start his FR 7 days before that is probably the easiest way?

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Just to clarify: He has to FR from end of AF to 4 days BEFORE EWCM (or O) so FR from CD 4 - 11?

When then do we DTD?

Obviously in September I should be able to predict O day, so I guess I'm asking (once we know):
Does he Fr til CD 10 then ABSTAIN or DTD til O?
Do we DTD before O or on O?
How many times should we DTD?

Hi again

If DH is doing FR then you don't want to stop the FR then abstain, then DTD, as the abstain would then "cancel out" his FR efforts lol....I think if you only plan on one DTD attempt per cycle (this seems to be getting good results for pink) then you would want 7-10 days of FR (ie. DH releasing on his own, or with your help but not during DTD!...sorry TMI lol) then your DTD attempt, and I think the best chance of conception is to try and time your BD attempt to be the day before O if possible (I always have BD attempt the day of +opk, which is likely 24-36hrs before O)

So obviously cycle days would depend on when you ovulate...but for example if you discover after temping for a couple of cycles that you O on CD14, then you would want your one DTD attempt to be CD13, so in that case I would probably get DH to start FR around CD5-6....hope that makes sense?

If you want to increase your odds of conception then you may want to DTD more than once each cycle...I think 2 attempts still gets decent results for pink, but probably what you would want to avoid is 3-5 attempts inside your "fertile window" (from around 4days before O till O day) as this seems to sway blue.

However if you are having really regular cycles and are highly fertile, then you do have a good chance with one attempt, so if I was in your shoes I would probably try at least 2-3 cycles with one attempt first, and then maybe increase to 2 attempts after that if BFN...obviously this is a personal choice though, and also depends on how quickly you want to get pg!

Hope this helps a bit?....I am quite new to this too, so I am hoping I have explained it correctly lol!

Oh also, re diet, I think a mars bar is a great addition to your diet...nothing wrong with chocolate and sweets, as long as you have them with a meal, so as not to snack all day long!...I have become addicted to jelly beans on this diet!! (used to be haribo's but need to avoid these now cos of the gelatin :( if/when I get a BFP that will be one of the first things I treat myself to lol!)

Good luck and hope we both get our DD's x

Thank you so much Coralsky - that makes so much sense to us now lol I have a feeling that only one attempt will be needed - our last boy was a sway opposite (Shettles - which I know realise is wrong!!), and we DTD only once during the fertile window (minus diet, FR, SI etc)...not through choice, but due to to just when we could as DH worked a lot of nights and, with 4 kids at that point, BD'ing during the day was never an option lol

I normally have a large bowl of (white) rice, with some herbs through it for flavour, with my Mars bar - not really finding the diet hard, just not easy to follow due to when I CAN eat as I'm not eating the same meals as the kids now (no potatos - chips, waffles etc, no meat, etc). I can't just take the bits I'm to avoid out as it would leave me with maybe just peas lol but if it's takeaway night I just have rice :)

FX then that we can both sway pink - I was addicted to jelly babies, jelly tots and cheese pizza when carrying my first - my daughter lol, but with my boys I only craved dairy? weird :) when are you attempting - we're waiting until September to aim for two months temping and hopefully a baby due around DH birthday x

Not at all, so glad I could be of some help as this is all quite new to me too!! :)

I am at the moment in 2ww from 2nd attempt cycle actively ttc....started diet in Feb, but then decided to add the intense exercise in Mar13 (due to such good results, and me having quite a bit of weight to shift lol!)...so atomic suggested I would be best to wait a min of 6wks after starting exercise before ttc....so we had 1st attempt in May...then had to skip last cycle (long story, wont bore you with the details lol!) so now this is just my 2nd attempt last wk....I am only 7dpo (I think, or possibly only 6) so no BFP yet, but AF will be due next thur/fri so I should know for def by then....and if BFN, onto next cycle :)

I just accepted your friend request, that was really nice of you thanks....I didn't even notice you could do that!...obviously you have mastered the website much better than me, and I have been a member since Feb lol!

Anyway, good luck, and let me know if you need help deciding on anything else (I'm no expert mind, but I will certainly try & help if I can ;)) x