Women view swaying negatively?

I have noticed from A LOT of women (especially the ones with both genders of children) are really judgmental or dare I say bitchy when you talk about gender swaying. If I kind of bring it up in conversation or someone else mentions it they seem to all have the same response "It is completely up to the man. That is just ridiculous!" And I always get a little irritated thinking to myself "Well obviously you would think that. You got one of each you little snot." It is almost as if the thought of swaying offends them in some way. I don't get it. What do they care if I want to beef myself up and have copious amounts of sex with my husband to try and get a boy? Or the famous "God gives you what you are meant to have." While I totally believe that why couldn't you believe that he lead me to this wonderful website (which by the way is how I feel) to help me sway my odds? I guess I am just venting right now. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this in person except my friends that only have one child. Because the few that I have that have more than one have one of each gender and just could give two sh*** about giving you any tips because they think it's absolutely crazy and they just hit the jackpot with their husbands perfectly 50/50 testicles. And this makes me even more grateful for this site because it is full of women who are open minded, support each other, and give each other advice. We all want the same for every woman on this site and that is to get their DG along with a healthy baby and pregnancy. So I am just wondering does anyone else experience this type of negative reaction when they speak to women about this in person? Any ideas as to why this topic seems to be so .. offensive? I just don't get it.

The funny thing is, those people with both genders probably swayed without even knowing it.

true BeadinMom...
the unhealthy lady who conceives a girl, has the baby, then realises she better start looking after herself more and preparing healthy meals for herself and her family then find she conceives a boy next!

the healthy lady who exercised lots to look good and conceives a boy, then realises she is stressed and doesn't have time to cook healthy meals or exercise like she used, perhaps starts having a glass of wine after bedtime to relax, to then conceives a girl.

the new relationship who were all fired up on hormones and DTDing lots and enjoying themselves conceive a boy.. later, afterwards, things have settled and they are doing it less often just to keep the relationship going, have girl

the newlyweds who were desperate for the first baby, took every supplement they could think of that can boost fertility and paying close attention to their cycles.. have a boy. Whoops - was that an accident when the new baby was 3 month old? Surprise - it's a girl!

the busy parents who now have a school run to do and lots of kids to get out of the house by 8am start skipping breakfast, keep catching all the colds their kids bring home from school ... you get the idea!



point being, lots of people DO sway without realising it just because lifestyles and situations change.
Generally I don't mention it to my friends or anyone in real life, although I would if one of them told me they had a strong preference too. I still tell everyone that I'm absolutely fine with another boy (which is more true now than it used to be, my boys make me happy so I'm sure another one would too) :)

Of course their judgmental and anyone handed everything on a silver platter is... They never had to even think what life is like to want a daughter or son because they had both without having to think about it... Now if they had 5 boys or girls in a row they would be singing a different tune...

Great post rainbowflower.

I agree with beadinmom, they probably swayed without even realising. I have friends who have one of each gender and are quite smug about it. I would never ever talk to them about swaying or let them know I was swaying

I mentioned it to my friends when i was drunk before we were trying - they thought it was funny, but when i explained the science behind it and that i wouldnt do it if i thought it was a fantasy they were quite supportive. One is pregnant with her second and we talk a lot about her wanting a girl etc. i think its important to let people in rl know its okay to feel like that with at least one person!
I dont mention it to people because its none of their business, just like us actively trying for #3 is none of their business, so i dont get a reaction off people. But i have to admit before i found this site, id have prob thought the same as others, that it was silly and would never work. Like you say, God led us here for a reason, it might be to help us get a boy, it might be to show us we cant always grt what wevwant, only time will tell!!

Xxx

The only person who knows I'm swaying is my DH! And for many of the reasons mentioned above that's the way it's staying. I just don't want the negativity from mean spirited people who have both gender children.


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I tell everyone I am swaying and most of my friends are either curious about it or completely non-judgemental, 'your life, do it your way' kind of attitude, however, the other day I mentioned it to this person I've known for a while and she just about rolled her eyes! Well, I know I won't be talking to her about it again! I don't even mind someone telling me they don't believe it, but do not ridicule me, thank you very much! Some people are very against anything that doesn't involve the 'whatever will be, will be' philosophy. Good for them but leave me to my sway!

Also, sometimes it's just that people aren't open minded or they may have certain beliefs that hinder them from accepting alternative methods for anything in life. Sometimes it is that they have both sexes so they don't feel the need to think about wanting the opposite sex child. Sometimes they may feel that only God, or whomever/whatever they believe in, has the say in what is given to them and they dare not mess with that. No matter what your opinion is about anything, there will be always one person who is totally against it, that's life.

With that being said, dh and I are the only ones that know that I am swaying for a boy. No one else knows that we are currently ttc either, just that it "maybe" a plan for the future if anyone asks or it comes up in conversation. I just don't want to hear any remarks either from those who may not understand me or what I want out of life.

Swaying is very taboo, there are few places you can openly talk about it, which is why I appreciate this forum so much. I have not told 1 person IRL about my swaying (except obviously DH) and I have not told anyone about how much I wanted/still want a girl VS a boy for fear of judgement. People do seem appalled by the idea that you wouldn't just be grateful for a healthy baby no matter the gender....that's what we're expected to feel