I'm really struggling. I just found out I'm having my 4th boy and I'm not sure I'll survive it. I don't want to hurt the baby I just wish I could stop being pregnant and my husband won't consider adoption and I don't want another boy. I don't want my step daughter to come for Christmas just so I know how much I'll never get a daughter. I'd prefer hubby to go see his family with her and I'll just be alone. I have zero feeling for the baby, no love, no feeling at all. I just wish I wasn't pregnant.
I am a horrible person, a terrible human being to not even love my own baby and be grateful.
I feel sick, I am a complete a-hole. How can I feel like this. Every bit of my intuition felt it was a girl and I was wrong.
I can't take birth control due to a medical condition and we had one moment where we didn't get the condom on straight away and I'm pregnant. This wasn't planned. I wanted to go to Thailand for gender selection IVF...that was my next step before considering another pregnancy but my body had other idea's.
Unless by some miracle to ultrasound tech was wrong (I'm 16 weeks) I think I'll end up with post natal depression. I couldn't even bring myself to eat after I found out I have no desire to do anything.
Sorry for my rambling please don't tell me how awful I am I already know....I just needed to get this out :(