40+1
Labor started at 6am. I went to bathroom and was losing my plug so I knew the day was here. The midwives told me to come in around 11 am or noon. I labored beautifully at the birth center; both my daughters were there and were anxiously awaiting the arrival of their baby sister. My body was a pro birther by now and the contractions were much more bearable than before. The midwives broke my water around 1pm and I think is where the problems started. I know now that if your baby is OP your water should not be broken. Anyway, at around 2pm I started feeling like I needed to push but I was having the most painful pinching in my cervix. When I was examined my MW told me that I was complete but had a small lip that needed to move before pushing. (what I didn't know then is that this is a sign of an OP baby) My MW tried holding the lip back when I pushed but this was unbearable for me. Eventually the lip went away and I was ready to push. I pushed for two hours, I pushed so hard I thought I would explode, but something was off. I could not feel the baby moving...AT ALL. I started getting scared so my midwives got me in the tub to calm me down and tried to put an IV in me because they thought I might be dehydrated. Well my veins were collapsed, so no go. That is when I felt like things got silent and a little weird, my body just kept pushing and pushing (for 2 hours) with no results....I got scared. I asked everyone to leave the room except my midwife and her assistants and my husband. I started to cry and told them something felt so wrong. I am not sure how the decision was made, but we decided to transfer to the hospital. The hospital was called and I lay on the bed pushing like crazy until it was time to leave. I have no idea which car I rode in, where I sat/laid in the car, or even who drove.
We arrived at the doors and I all but ran into the hospital. I remember a father sitting in the waiting room, when I walked by, with probably a look of pure panic on my face, he just smiled at me. HOW could he smile at me??? Didn't he know my baby was stuck and I was going to DIE??? Looking back I am sure he just thought I was there to have a baby, it is kinda funny now. I don't remember how I got in the room but all of a sudden I was on the table being examined and having an IV put in...it was such a whirlwind of people and emotions, I honestly don't know how I didn't break down. Then I was in the Operating room, still pushing, and the anesthesiologist was giving me a spinal. The doctor was so nice and tried to keep me calm, all I could do was push. Then they laid me down and I remember seeing my mom and then my husband sobbing on the daddy bench. He came over and I consoled him the best I could, he was more scared than me at that moment. I promptly vomited and then the next thing I remember, besides them tugging me so hard I felt like I would fall off the table, was hearing them say "here she is"! Sophia Kathleen was born at 4:09pm the day after her due date, weighing 7lbs 10 oz and she was 20 inches long. I remember being eager to see her but they put her over the curtain too briefly for me to see and then took her over to clean her up. I couldn't hear crying for a few moments but then heard her gurgly little cry and was so happy she was okay. A few minutes later they wheeled her over, my husband right with her, and told me they would be taking her to the NICU because she was having a little trouble breathing, she had inhaled amniotic fluid (duh really). So there I lay, exhausted and empty; all alone with no baby to awe over and no husband to kiss me and tell me I did a good job. In recovery all I could ask about was my new baby girl, how was she and when could I see her? She needed to nurse and I still had not gotten to meet her! They told me that I could not see her until I could get up and walk. UHH come again? You want me to walk?? I could not even fathom trying to get up and walk, didn't you just cut me in half? My other daughters came to see me which was a wonderful distraction, but they were scared and worried about all the tubes all over me, they didn't feel comfortable there. They did get to see their baby sister though, and so did my best friend who was amazing enough to take a video on her phone of Sophia in the NICU. When I watched it I felt like my heart would explode and all I could do was cry. She was so cute, hooked up to all sorts of machines, grunting and coughing and trying to suck her hand clean off.
I rested and tried to get enough energy up to walk, I had to see Sophia, even if it killed me. I pumped my colostrum and asked the nurses to give it to her and they acted repulsed and said "we cannot transport bodily fluids back and forth; she can have it if your husband takes it up there". Bodily fluids? really? it is not like I peed in a cup and asked them to take it down the hall. UGH, b*$%#@. Anyway, I ate the best cobb salad I have ever had in my life and napped as much as I could. I tried not to think about my new baby and if she was crying for me, I just thought about getting up and walking so I could see her. At 12am I felt ready, as ready as I could feel I guess, so I called the nurse and told her I was going pee then I was going to see my daughter. She obliged and wheeled me up to the Special Care Nursery to see Sophia. Sophia's nurse told me how she was doing and then finally handed me my beautiful daughter who was already 8 hours old! She latched right away and we finally began to bond, I was so happy, she fell asleep at my breast and I just sat there and enjoyed my moments with her. I was very happy that she seemed perfectly normal even with her not so wonderful trip into this world; it gave me joy to know that she was quite the strong little girl!
Well I finally got to have my baby sleep in my room with me the next night and then around 4pm on the 2nd day we could go home. I was happy to leave but scared to deal with the pain of the incision and the emotions that were swirling around me waiting to be felt. The day after we went home I started getting incapacitating headaches, they were like nothing I had ever felt before. It felt like My head and neck were being crushed my concrete slabs. So at my postpartum checkup I told the nurse and she told me to go to the ER immediately! Turns out they were spinal headaches, the needle had gone in too far and now my spinal fluid was leaking out causing a enormous amount of pain. They gave me a pain med drip until I was feeling better and then sent me home. I was told to lie down and not stand upright too much for a week, I was also told to drink a lot of caffeine, which was not so awesome for a nursing mom. But after a few days I felt better and my body started to heal. My incision was really slow to heal and still hurt me almost a year later. Then I had to go back to work 5 weeks later, I didn't feel ready, but working with my BFF certainly made it a LOT easier to cope!
Not the beautiful birth that I got to have with my other DDs :broken: but I am glad she was okay, I am glad we were both okay.
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