18 mths on

I am back!!!! like a bad arnie movie

Has anything changed since having my 4th boy,

I sat and looked at them tonight in all their glory running around in the mud playing soccer together, i turned to my husband and said. I am so excited, I get to watch these boys grow, I get to watch them succeed and fail, i get to watch them fall in love and have their hearts broken. I get to watch them turn into men. I get to have grandchildren. By all of this the highs and lows I am excited for we need the lows to recognise the highs.

I still long for a girl if I didnt i would be lying, however I have grieved for my baby girl and all that that baby represents. Doesnt mean I don't want a girl or would love one, just means I am surviving without a girl, and that is okay.

I hope that we can all find peace in our lives and take notice of what is in front of us, for every moment we spend is one that slips away.

xoxo gossip girl lol :pregnant::pregnant::pregnant:

Welcome back! Great post!

Beautifully written. I feel the same. I sacrifice sleep and time for me often because I don't want to miss a second of them growing.
I work 12 hr shifts & I refuse to work the 7am to 7 pm shift because I miss a whole day....if I work 7pm to 7 am I get a little of each day which is better than a whole day lost.

Great way to say it, surviving without your DG.

It’s so lovely to read a post like this. I was thinking of doing the same but calling it 2 years down the track. My twin boys are now almost 21 months but I guess it must be about 2 years since I found out I was having my 2nd and 3rd son. And boy was I sad and mad about not getting even one daughter in my life.
It took time to work through my emotional struggle but I think I am almost out the other side.

When I read my signature after my posts these days the bit at the end that says that having a daughter is my hearts deepest desire does not seem so true anymore. I too am a lot more at peace and I think a lot of it has to do with living in the moment and being able to enjoy what I have got. Now that I no longer have post partum depression and I am getting more sleep and some time for myself, it is easier to not focus on the negatives in life, which for me was not having a daughter.
Heck still want/would-love one so much and if we get to try for number 4 I will plan a detailed sway. But now I can honestly say that it would be more because I want another baby, not JUST for another shot at a daughter. Three was meant to be my number but I am loving the larger family dynamic with my partners older 3 sons staying with us heaps lately. I’d love one more, if we can afford it.

Right now I am feeling pretty lucky and content getting to witness the great brotherhood and although there would be some initial sadness for sure, I would be fine if we had one more and it was a 4th/7th boy. The 6 boys all have their own wonderful personalities and are caring towards each other and so much fun. I’d love to give them a little Sister to dote on and learn about females and a partner for me but I know I can survive without a daughter. Anyway my first son who is almost 4 might be the one who I have that close thing with. He is a lovely sensitive sole who enjoys baking with me and many other not so typical ‘boy’ things.

I no longer get sad when I see little girls because they are not like my beautiful boys. The only thing that gives me a wee jealous pang these days is seeing a family with two boys and a girl because that was always my ‘ideal’ dream family. Also if life gets tough and I start to feel down again then I can be more sensitive to GD. So I just take good care of myself and my boys who I know I am so lucky to have and the twins, OMG I am SO smitten by them. I wanted them to be girls so much but they are so close that I don’t think I would have gotten that one on one Mother Daughter thing anyway.

Wow, this sure turned out to be an essay! I hope the rest of you living without your DG are learning to find it easier. It really does get easier. I would not have thought so when I was in the thick of it. Hugs to you ☺

That is supposed to be a smiley face at the end!