Gender disappointment...again.

Hi there,

I've used a GD forum site 2.5 years ago, when I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd boy. I hit an intense depression. I was upset that I was pregnant again & had I known it'd be a boy, I never would have bothered. I had feelings of strong dislike and regret toward the baby the remainder of my pregnancy (even though I was thankful internally that I was able to have a baby to begin with, as I know others aren't able to; but I still had a very hard time getting over the fact that I wasn't having a girl). I'm so envious of all the pink. It has taken me this long, to not be as angry and accept that I have only boys. Don't get my wrong, the moment my sweet little boy was born, it was instant love and he's been my best friend ever since. I wouldn't trade him for all the girls in the world. I still feel jealous and annoyed when other friends have girls and for awhile, couldn't even congratulate acquaintances on facebook for their new pink miracle. I had a nemesis in high school (I'm now 28), but over the last year and some odd months, her and I have become best friends. She has 2 boys of her own and until today, was pregnant with her 3rd baby, gender unknown. We for sure thought it was a boy. We've been prepping for her "boy" this whole time. We've called it 'our baby' the entire pregnancy. I just found out 2 hours ago, that she had a little girl. As happy as I am for my friend, I've been crying on and off and I feel like such a terrible friend..not to mention, extremely irrational. It feels like finding out Cole was a boy all over again. I feel like I'm a raging pit of envy and I just need some reassurance that this is normal. I need to know that I'm not awful for these feelings.. Obviously, I'm happy for her, I truly am.. but I never once prepped myself for this, or maybe I was in denial and refused to believe the possibility for her to have a girl was there, considering she already has two boys. Oh, sigh..

Awww :( I understand those feeling of gender disappointment popping up and biting you in the behind. I have 2 boys and one of my best friends had 1 boy and was preggo. All she wanted was another boy and got, you guessed it, a girl. I was more than a little irrational about her getting the girl I always wanted and having the "nerve" to complain about it. You are not a terrible friend for having feelings! It will probably take less time than you think to work through them. I think you are experiencing a natural response. I'm sorry I don't have great advice, but I can empathize with the situation. You will be okay.

Angie

I think once you see the baby a few times, and it's not your daughter (obviously, but you wanting your own daughter which this baby isn't) your feelings will change. Just now you are dealing with your disappointment at not having a daughter, brought to the surface by your friend having a girl. Hope that makes sense?! Xx

I am exactly the same as you. I love hearing that friends on Facebook are expecting a boy. When I hear it's a girl I can't even bring myself to like the comment. I think I would feel exactly the same as you are feeling if my friend had a girl. It's a natural reaction when you want something so much and someone else gets it.