Letting go... or not?

Hello everyone,

It's been awhile since I last visited. I was supposed to start my sway in December after my gall bladder was removed, but due to some unforeseen medical issues my sway got delayed. Last month, while I still had my Mirena in, I was diagnosed with a burst fallopian tube due to an ectopic pregnancy (I had no idea I was pregnant in the first place). I had a massive internal bleeding and had emergency surgery where both my fallopian tube and Mirena were removed.

Now I am in two minds about my sway. I am less fertile with only one fallopian tube, although after one year it should be back to 75 percent. Due to all the issues I am even happier with my two wonderful and healthy boys, and the sex of a third baby seems more irrelevant, as long as I can get pregnant again I don't really seem to care...

So it feels like I am letting go of the dream and just taking my 50-50 chance. But on the other hand this feels a lot like giving up after doing all the research and such... Especially with regards to timing the conception. I won't have an egg every month, I don't want to miss the ones that do occur by potentially skipping bd. And testing/temping for eggs will probably only make me start to worry...

I just feel a bit Ugh! about it all at the moment... Not allowed to get pregant for three months, so maybe the feelings will settle into something a bit more clear after a while...

golly - you have been through such a lot. It puts it all in perspective doesn't it.

I think you need to give yourself time to heal and allow yourself some time off - try not to even think about it for a while and then in 3 months see how you feel - go with your gut instinct.

we are so blessed to have our happy healthy boys

x

I love the word golly, it definitely expresses it well...

Maybe I should just postpone the whole thing until I've passed the "Doctors are awesome, I'm still alive!!" phase and let it all settle down. I just like knowing what I am going to do and when, and am definitely not dealing well with all this uncertainty.

The past few months have just been full of unexpected and statistically unlikely medical occurrences one after the other, I really want to focus on something positive, a new baby! But maybe I should just start with a new pair of shoes;-)

yes, new shoes always help!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your tube. I know it is a scary thing but some how, some way, your body seems to be able to detect it and starts ovulating more out of the "proper" ovary. Some people have even had eggs come from one ovary all the way across into the other (I know it sounds crazy and I was skeptical too but it's been definitively proven to happen). So you do have every chance in the world at conceiving.

We do not recommend timing intercourse for swaying anyway. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...le-timing.html

The thing with 50-50 is that you may not really truly HAVE 50-50 odds. That's overall across the whole population. Each individual may have different odds than that. We are getting between 70-75% success for blue sways and 65% success for pink, which means you may be coming into this as high as 75% set for blue (or more even). There are things you can do to sway that do not lower odds of conception much and I'd just stick to those. Most of the things that really ahve been lowering odds of conception have gotten poor results for us anyway and no one should feel the least bit bad about leaving them out.

I would just have you do diet, BD every 4 days, then do OPK and you can have one more attempt at positive OPK if you want to.

Thank you atomic! I've thought about it some more and I think part of it is that I really want to feel healthy and energetic again, I do not recognize myself at the moment. I've forgotten the name of the hypothesis, but letting the body think it is becoming less well fed etc. seems less appealing because of that.

I was already leaning towards a basic sway, focused on diet and exercise and potentially zyrtec, which is in the house because of DH's allergies. I have read about all the other factors, but things either were too complicated or not available where I live). All the cut-off stuff etc seemed to be going too far. BD'ing every 4 days sounds much more feasible.

I'll let it rest for a few weeks (it's still an emotional issue) and then make a final decision on how involved I want to be with this next attempt.

Thank you!

Sorry to hear you have to went through all of this fear and pain.

If i were you (and of course i'm not, meaning that only you can decide), i will do diet (including peppermint tea and decaffeinated diet coke), exercise, chitosan, babyaspirin and maybe cinnamon (i used it, but it is not really 'proven' yet). That's it. Zyrtec will reduce your changes of getting pregnant too much i think, you need at least some ewcm to transport spermies to your uterus en beyond.

Good luck! Take your time.

I really, really understand the sentiments of where you are coming from.

I am in a different spot, but still feeling the same about "giving up" and that I would automatically get "an opposite" if I didn't do at least SOMETHING to alter myself when TTC. Swaying info gets in your head and you can't just forget it, which is stinky when you really want to (no offense meant at all, I love the info and worship Atomic for not only doing the hard work, but sharing it with us).

We are TTC our fourth soon and we don't really mind gender much. BUT convenience-wise, a girl would fit in our house better. In my heart, I'd like a girl like 51% to 49%, so really I don't mind either way. But I can't just forget that swaying information.

I am so sorry for your medical issues. That must have been very scary! I do know that often women's bodies do awesome things to make up for the loss of a tube or ovary. My left tube is supposedly blocked, but I conceived my third child from a left-side ovulation. Which either means my tube is not blocked at all (more likely) or the egg traveled down the right tube instead (less likely, but possible). So, your body can adapt and help that non-tube ovary slack off so the other picks up the pace.

I do hope you come to a peaceful decision. I can see why it all feels overwhelming and aggravating right now. A big ole kink fell into your system. I hope, either way, you are happy with what you decide. :) Good luck!

If it helps at all, an acquaintance lost a tube years ago. She had a little girl a couple years ago & is now 39 weeks pregnant with apparently fraternal twins. I know she wasn't even trying the first time & maybe not the 2nd, either.

Thank you all for the reassuring words!!!

I've decided to let it rest for the next six weeks, and I'll start the diet after that when we get back from our holiday. Knowing me and French bakeries the diet will be a bit more necessary after that anyway;-)