Not as strong as i thought i was...antidepressants time :(

Last year I had my 7th boy. I want a girl so much it hurts. I feel desperate wish I could go high tech but can't afford it. #8 is pushing it and it will be my last and final time trying. I'm not trying as of now because I'm not ready my baby is 8 months and I'm still breastfeeding,on the mini pill. My period hasn't returned so I doubt I'm even able to conceive just yet. I definitely want to do the LE diet next sway to the fullest! I'm so depressed due to things in my life past,present but a lot is due to GD not getting my girl after so many boys. I thought after having boy #7 I was at peace but it only lasted a few months now the sadness and depression is back. Seeing everyone around me have girls makes me sad because I can't feel the same joy. I can't experience a mother daughter relationship that I never had. I'm getting on antidepressant and weekly counseling starting tomorrow and hope I can start feeling better. I want to tell the counselor about how I feel about wanting a girl but I don't know if she'll think I'm crazy or something. I just hope and pray someday I'll get my baby girl I so longed for to heal my broken heart :(

It sounds like you are doing the right by seeking help. I am so sorry that you are feeling so desperate right now and I hope that the antidepressants and therapy help you come to terms with whatever gender make-up in your family. I can't imagine having 7 boys!!! Hang in there!!

I'm sure as a mother of seven you must deeply love children and being a mother, but it must also be so hard to put so much effort into motherhood and not have this one experience you want so much. You're not crazy and you are so wise to get help. I'm sure your counselor will understand.

I hope you get your girl this time!! Keep picturing yourself with a daughter. You should watch "the secret" it might help change your thoughts. Good luck mama.

Thanks ladies for the kind words. I got put on antidepressant today. Counseling went well. She gave me lots of tips for managing my stress and depression. I didn't tell her about my strong desire for wanting a girl but I think eventually in one of my weekly sessions it will come out. Oh and I looked up celexa the antidepressant I'm on and see a lot of women had girls on it. Maybe that's a plus whenever I sway for a girl. My therapist conceived her 2 girls when she was taking antidepressant.

If your therapist doesn't understand, you need to find someone who does. Your pain and grief are real and you need to talk to a real human who won't judge you.

I have to agree with Kidatheart, find a therapist, or open up to the one you have, and get that weight off your chest.
Glad you are getting help in more ways than one. GD is a lonely road and finding friends a long the way make the journey worth it.