Feeling down :( x

My SIL just texted me to say that she has gone into labour; her scheduled c-section was booked for tomorrow but I guess baby has other ideas! :) Why am I upset? This is her second daughter. The first has the middle name I would have chosen had DS1 been a boy, and according to my FIL this baby will be The name I wanted to call the little chap I'm currently preggie with, if he'd have been a girl. I've also had to buy all the adorable NB stuff for their new daughter that I would have loved to buy for my child (pink! Cats! Bows! Etc), and DH totally doesn't understand why that is hard for me. I guess I'm just feeling like the butt of some hilarious cosmic joke right now, although I'm failing to see the funny side...

Just a bit of background; I'm not blood related to my niece(s), who is about as differently behaved to my DS1 as possible (she sits quietly, my BIL has nicknamed my son 'Danger Bear') and we rarely see them, so I don't feel close to them or really know them, so no satisfaction for my desire for a daughter from that POV. I don't discuss names before baby is born so it's not like they have done this vindictively, however my BIL did say to my DH when we knew DS1 was a boy (bearing in mind this was a couple of months before they even got pregnant with DD1) that we 'couldn't use Leon or jake' as those were 'his son's names' even before he said congratulations!?! WTF is that about??!! They've also peed me off recently as they gave my 2 yr old son a nasty, plastic, cheap bubble blowing MACHINE GUN (clearly labeled 3yrs+) for his CHRISTENING gift?!? I am absolutely dumbfounded by this (and horrified) and I've refused to give it to my boy. The b*tch in me was thinking of inappropriate gifts to give their daughter for her 2nd birthday (I thought of some slutty 'Bratz' type doll to horrify my BIL lol) in a few months time, but I'm not like that really so she will get a nice, generous, suitable gift that is completely unappreciated as per usual.

I'm also feeling sore as 2 of my NCT 'boy' mummy's were also pregnant at the same time as me (both team yellow); one had her daughter a couple of months ago and the other is due 2 weeks after me and I am CONVINCED she will also have a DD (from her 12 week scan nub) so I am dreading the prospect of being the only 1 with 2 boys (the other ladies had a dd first anyway) and that I might be ostracised from the group as our kids continue to grow up (they are only 2 at the moment) and the gender differences become more obvious.

Sorry for such a moaning, 'woe is me' post, just really needed to offload somewhere. I know I'm giving my boy the best present of a playmate and confidant for life, I'm just scared that my longing for a daughter will never leave me. I always imagined I'd have 1 girl (I'm an only child), soon I will be a mum of 2 boys. Life does like to surprise sometimes, doesn't it?
Xxx

I have been where you are at....I can promise you that time will march on and once you have a sweet baby in your arms some of this bombardment of girl babies and painful GD stabs will fade. It very well may take on a different tone, but it will lessen.
Bigs hugs....you are very pregnant and all of this stuff in your face becomes even harder to handle when emotions of sadness & anticipation are swirling through your mind all day.
Hang in there, it gets better.

Oh honey I feel for you! Been there wore the t shirt!! I had terrible GD with my second son , most of my coffee group had one of each and some made silly throw away comments like how much easier girls were etc etc !!
But now yes time goes by!! I have a 6 and 4 year old, and Charlie my 4 year old is the light of my life I felt way more bonded with him from the minute he came out ( not sure if that's the guilt of GD?) he is not into boys toys, he loves animals is super placid and loves his mummy to bits.
You won't want to swap this guy for any number of girls!! I feel for you and hear you xxx
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