Confused about family size

We have 2 daughters. I love having 2 kids. I love the idea of having extra money and space. Going from 1 child to 2 was a very easy natural decision.

Going from 2 to 3 has DH & I so confused. I want kids close in age..my youngest is 2.5 now so if we do decide for another .I want it to happen soon. I just can't get over the reality of another child. My girls use up all of my time & energy and some days I know for sure I could never handle a 3rd. I'm scared I will regret not having a 3rd.. but I also am scared it will ruin our already great family dynamic.

I worry a lot about overpopulation and feel i should do my share and accept my 2 healthy beautiful kids and move on. But it hurts so bad wanting a boy...and then there's that..I am afraid i will be so depressed if I hear girl. That's not fair for the future baby at all. I just don't know..any tips or advice from anyone who had a hard time going from 2 to 3 kids?

We are in the same boat, 2 vs. 3, but I think at the end of the day, we will go for baby 3 when the time comes. My DD brings our family so much joy, and although we are only 6 weeks prego with DS, I can't imagine this being it.

That's difficult to answer for someone I think. I always wanted 3 kids. I never wanted just two. Would things be easier with just 2? Absolutely! Lots of things change when you go from 2 to 3 because you become a family of 5. If you travel, a typical hotel room may not work for you anymore. If you go out to eat, you have to wait for the "big table". You will also have a "middle child".

I come from a large family and ALL of my childhood memories circle around the fact that there were always lots of people around and I loved it. I love family. It has made me who I am today.

A friend of mine that is married to a man that has one brother and no other siblings once told me that although she loved his parents, when they went over to their home or got together for a birthday or holiday, if his brother could not come, it was very boring because it was just them and she came from a family of 4 kids and they preferred to go to her parents for holidays, etc. That has always stuck with me!

I have done some flying over the middle section of the US and if you look down, there sure is a lot of open land! I am not really concerned about overpopulation. I added 4 to it!

I can tell you about my experience. I got pregnant with DD3 when DD2 was only 8 months old. I was using the pull out method and avoided DTD during my fertile days and somehow still managed to get pregnant with her (must have been a long cut-off). I was pretty upset when I found out because I only wanted 2 kids at the time. My DH was thrilled thinking that he might have a chance for a boy. I didn't care about the gender, I was just terrified of having 3 kids. Well, fast forward almost 2 years and my precious DD3 is my most affectionate and loving child. She the only mommy's girl. DD1 is more of a grandma's girl and DD2 Is more of a daddy's girl. Earlier today, when she came and gave me a big kiss, I was thinking.... I couldn't imagine life without her. She's so darn sweet and I'm glad she's a girl! I feel guilty for being upset when I found out I was pregnant with her.
For me, going from 2-3 kids was a BIG change! I'm not going to say it's easy because it isn't always easy. It's been challenging but more fun!

On another note. I completely understand your feelings about not having a boy next. I'm feeling the same way. I wouldn't be mad or sad if I had 4 girls but I think I'd be sad if I never get the boy I want so so bad!!

Thanks for the replies!

Nuthinbutpink- I come from a big family and I do love the sense of family feeling. Holidays and get togethers are fun and conversations are always interesting. I do want that so bad, but I am just so afraid for some reason.

Jana- awww!! Seriously, my oldest is a daddys girl and my youngest is pure mama's girl. I am the light of her life and it breaks ny heart thinking about having another girl. I just don't want her to ever feel replaced. The bond I share with her makes me SO sad because i dont share it with DD1. But she has an amazing bond with DH so I cant feel too bad. A boy would just be the easiest solution lol. I hope we both get our little guys.

I am the opposite, I am an ONLY child, can be very lonely, though I have AMAZING friends lets face it around the holidays they are doing the "family" thing and yes we have been over to a good friends home for the holidays quite a few times..my family such as grandparents, aunts, cousins live a 7 hour drive away. My DH family, very small and they are a hot mess... So this dynamic fuels our our desire for more children!

To be honest, I found it extremely hard to go from 1 to 2 children it took me practically 18 months to adjust, even almost 4 years to lose the baby weight! Well now I have 3 including a 9 month old, and even though I work full time I feel good, I found that having 3 has forced me to be even more ORGANIZED which makes my life so much easier. We feel like "we've got this" and are cycling for #4!!

Good Luck!

I can't tell you what it is like to go from 2-3 sorry as I had twins second time around but I am going to have to have more than I wanted (3) to get a girl. I want her so much it hurts and only want another child to have a girl. I don't just want a baby. After thinking I may have gotten pregnant I felt sick having not swayed and the thought of all the extra hard work of a baby and more kids and still not getting my girl. That is why I have decided that I can not take chances and will be doing IVF with PGD overseas in 1-2 years when we have the money to ensure a girl. Goodluck, no matter what you do it is a huge descission to make

I have three boys and the love just multiplies with each one. The dynamics between the kids is incredible & I totally get how some people get hooked on having babies ;)
Don't get me wrong I'm scared that I'll never have my DD, but if it means having a big family full of boys and love - well that in itself is a huge blessing. :D
It is hard work having 3 but I often wonder if the elderly ladies that so often stop to coo at ds3 miss their baby days. That is enough to make me enjoy this time as much as possible through my matchstick-propped eyelids! ;)

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Midwest, I'm glad to have you on this site! We think alike in many ways! And YES! A boy would be a great solution! :happy:

1+2+3boys- good luck!! HT is a great choice!
DreamingPink- I hope you have a daughter. And I agree, having 3 of 1 gender is amazing!