My sway baby is now in Heaven

I had an ultrasound last week at 8w3d and there was a beautiful baby with a HB of 161. I was ecstatic. The baby was attached in the left, posterior part of my uterus so I was even more ecstatic. My nausea was verging on unbearable, my face is breaking out, and I feel like a walking b-word. Over all, I felt confident I had my little girl cooking.

My midwife came in the room to chat with me and she dropped a bomb on me: she suspected a molar pregnancy in conjunction with my baby. She ran HcG levels to see if they were too high (which is a symptom of a mole) and they came back on the "high side of normal" (again, I felt the baby would be okay and was a girl with these increased HcG numbers).

I went back today for a follow-up u/s and there was no heart beat. I can't even believe it. I am so shattered and sad right now. I cannot believe I lost a child that is oh-so-wanted. My husband and I both swayed for a few months before we started TTC (which in itself took five months).

I feel like I lost my daughter. I can't quantify it, but I feel that it was a girl and now she's gone.

I don't know where to go from this. They say to wait to TTC six months after a mole. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go through it again.

I never really thought of pregnancy loss before, because I am truly blessed. I have two healthy boys right in front of me, and I never had any reason to be fearful during either one of their pregnancies. I am so sorry that you ladies are also going through this. This is pain that I've always heard others speak of, but I can't even put into words how awful it is.

I go in for a D&C tomorrow. I'm too sad to even be the least bit scared.

Goodbye, baby. You are so loved and missed so much. :Angel:

I'm so very sorry for you :( how utterly devastating. Wishing you all the strength you need to see you though :sadflwr: sending you love.

Thank you, True Blue.

So Sorry.

Oh honey, I am so sorry. I have always felt that the loss of a child has to be one of the greatest agonies every known to us. I wish I could say something to ease your grief.
I do know that when others have had these types of loss, part of the void that is left behind is filled when they go on to have healthy pregnancies. You know your body can do it, you just have to decide, in time, if your heart can handle the unknown.

I had a pregnancy that looked good but was found to be an empty sac at 8 weeks. That haunted me for a long time. When I went for my first u/s with this baby I was scared silly, but its all going well so far and I am so grateful. My heart was broken, but its on the mend. I wish the same for you.

Big hugs mama.

oh NO, I'm so sorry.

It is very important that you wait after a molar. But the good news is, many times they think they see a molar pg and it turns out not to be, and I believe your HCG levels would tend to be abnormally high if it was truly a molar pg. Praying that this is not the case and hoping that this process turns out to be easy on you. :(

Oh no, I'm so so sorry. :( Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I will be thinking of you today and hope your D&C goes as easy as is possible. (I personally found it fine since you are under for the procedure). Big big hugs, I know my words can't help you feel better but I wish they could.

Oh so sad, I'm sorry . Hope you heal and recover quickly xxx

So so sorry to hear this xxxxxx