Some support, please...

Hi Ladies,

I could really use some support and so I'm turning to all of you. Outside of this site, no one knows that I'm TTC, much less swaying for pink.

This is our 3rd month trying and I got a BFN this morning. I'm just feeling really down.

What we did this month:

-This cycle, we DTD every other day starting CD7, including the night of +OPK and then we stopped. I did get extremely sick with the flu the night of the +OPK and had a fever for a couple of days.

-We did use just a few drops of Sylk each time we DTD. No female orgasm, no J&D.

-Stuck close to LE Veggie Diet - I've lost nearly 10lbs since starting this diet, it's the lowest I've been in over 10 years.

-Cardio 5-6x a week for ~45min

-Peppermint tea daily till +OPK - I was doubling up the tea bags and having 3-4 cups a day

-Folic, 1200 mcg a day

-Fiber, I'm taking 2 pills a day

-Low dose aspirin daily - I started Aspirin this month as it seemed to have good results and I've been tolerating it well

-DH is taking OLE and wearing briefs

Moving forward:

I think I'm going to drop Pep tea and Sylk (I was only using a a few drops anyway) this month and use either Preseed or Conceive plus. I also think I'm going to add more attempts around +OPK - maybe even SPEM.

I feel like I don't have much to sway with anymore as I've dropped nearly everything. I used SPEM and Preseed when we conceived our DS and I really don't want to go there but I feel like I have no other choice.

I know, I know I shouldn't add even more attempts but I'm so sad about not conceiving yet.

Questions:

1. For ladies who were over 35 (I'm 36 and DH is 37) when they conceived, how long did it take you?

2. Anyone use SPEM and sperm friendly lube and get a girl?

I could really use some hope right now....

I'm in my late thirties and started TTC in January/February and conceived in May but lost it. Conceived again in August and lost it again. Third time lucky conceived at the end of September (by then because of the miscarriges and for other personal reasons I had pretty much stopped swaying and decided just to try for a baby without regard for gender).

I was using Sylk for a while but saliva can work too! Your time will come soon, hang in there... x

Hanseer I know you feel!
I am 36 and 28 weeks pregnant with my DD.
It took me four cycles to conceive but I was on the diet for about 7 months! Its safe to say I was well over it. If you want to drop stuff I would deft. drop asprin, peppermint tea, antihistamines if you have been using it, sylk.

At the end of the day you have to do what's right for you! I personally would drop those three tactics and see how you go if you still haven't conceived then maybe do every four days plus an additional attempt at pos opk.

I ended up on cycle 4 doing this but I knew the risks ( drops to 60-65% chance of girl rather than 70% with one attempt) and had come to terms with the fact I could well have just conceived a boy.
It also helped me to take a break from this forum and analysing my every mouthful and sway I really believe chilling out a bit helped get my DD as well.
Good luck XXX

Do you want a girl or just a baby? I have no strength to sway but from what I've seen on this site the best things are diet, exercise and ONE attempt for a girl sway.

Just wanted to tell you to hang in there. I know how tough it is, believe me. I am on cycle 12! Been doing the atomic fertility diet for about 4 cycles and if I get another BFN :( this month not sure what I will do. Good luck!!!

Hi!! Big hugs TTC can be SO hard without swaying and swaying definitely pushes it over the edge some days.

Personally I would try going for BDing every 4 days + 1 additional time at +OPK. I know that when it doesn't work right away you really feel pressure to keep adding attempts but I don't think this is going to help you get your girl and honestly I don't even know if it will help you get pregnant faster. I think Atomic will probably have a tip for you for the best lube to use when attempting a pink sway.

Hang in there!!!

Are you temping? If not, maybe your attempts haven't been well timed. Only one of my first 4 cycles TTC had decent timing, and that wasn't even great at 3 days before O. I always conceived easily and quickly in the past, mostly while trying to AVOID getting pregnant. So I know how you feel, and I'm currently on my 7th cycle TTC pink! Or, if you consider timing, I have only 3 cycles behind me with one attempt well timed.

I definitely think you are being too impatient and definitely shouldn't be sdding attempts. It just takes longer to conceive girls. Like Boom asked, do you just want a baby or do you want a girl?

I'd drop pep tea and sylk for sure, drop exercise completely (45 min sounds too close to blue IMO), STAY STRICT on the diet, and BD every 3 days. I personally think that is more pink friendly than every 4 days + one attempt at positive OPK.Though honestly, if I were you, I'd still be doing one attempt. A minimal amount of sperm friendly lube if you're dry is fine.

I don't want you to go from what you're doing RIGHT to SMEP plus girl friendly lube. I really really think you're going from doing too much (still) to swaying totally blue without a stopover anywhere in between.

I know it's hard to get your mind around it when you're in it, but 3 months is NOTHING. It is totally normal for fully fertile couples doing nothing to sway, on average 6 months to get pregnant.

Things I would tweak: No more Sylk. IF you need a lube, use a small amount of Preseed.

No more peppermint tea.

Wean off aspirin or at least back to 3 days a week.

PLEASE do not add more attempts. You have got to keep this in perspective, hun. What you're gearing up to do, is to have done all this work and effort and just bascially now take your chances (if not even sway blue).

To answer your questions, I got my 3rd son at 36, doing everything to sway blue (I didn't know about swaying then, just wanted to get pregnant) and it still took me 2 months. I had a much better attempt the first month but didn't get pregnant, because some months it's just not "the egg.". My 4th son took 3 months but I wasn't ovulating a couple months because I was BF. My daughter took 6 months. Point being, it is NORMAL not to get pregnant that first month.

Thank you SO SO much for all your support, ladies. You nameless, faceless sisters are really my rock right now and helps so much to hear from all of you.

It's. So HARD. Seeing a BFN month after month.

I do want a girl - as Atomic has said "You can't get a DD if you can't get prego." but she also just told me "you're going from doing too much (still) to swaying totally blue without a stopover anywhere in between." So I will go for the stopover. Atomic, you're a wise woman.


I ordered a CBFM off of eBay today for a pretty good price to better help me with tracking and trying to time my attempt. I was taking vitex for during cycle 2 and it totally screwed up my usually clockwork-like cycles and OPK readings.

I will drop pep tea, sylk, and reduce aspirin 3x a week.

I actually feel really good about my diet and sticking to a LE veggie plan.

As for exercising - I do want to keep that up. I'm a little confused as to how 45 min sways blue but 60 min sways pink. Surely, 15 min doesn't make that much of a difference? I usually go high-impact and it takes like 10 min to get my heart rate back down.

Atomic - can you please comment on exercise? Is it 60 min or nothing?

The CBFM (though CBAD is even better!) REALLY helped me, I credit it completely with being able to time my last 2 cycles of one attempt ideally at 1-2 days before O.

Re:exercise, we don't know for sure, but the theory is that 30 min sways blue, 60+ min sways pink. So I think 45 minutes is too close to blue, as it's going the full 60 min without break that exhausts your muscles, and doing so every day without a day off is optimal for preventing any chance of your muscles (re)building. You want to keep your body feeling tired and rundown, and I feel that's difficult to achieve without the full 60 min, minimum, of cardio. And I've seen how moderate, or not quite intense exercise, sways blue. So I'd rather be a total sedentary sloth than risk that. Btw, you don't need to do such high impact cardio. In fact, lower impact but for longer is much pinker. High impact, especially for shorter periods of time sways blue. But just walking briskly & steadily for 1-2 hours, that's ideal for pink. It sounds like you're pushing yourself too hard, tiring yourself out instead of just raising your heartbeat a bit and aiming for slow and steady endurance.