Back after a break

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March 10th, 2015, 09:55 AM
hopper

Back after a break

I joined these forums last year after giving birth to my second son and purchased a custom plan but due several reasons we have pushed back TTC#3 and I had to take a break from even viewing these pages as it was just upsetting me not being able to even think about when we could try again. We are still no closer to TTC#3 but I NEED to talk to people who will understand me, I feel like I am going crazy!!
I wouldn't be without either of my wonderful, gorgeous, perfect sons but I have this overwhelming need to have a daughter. It consumes me and came to a head today when my friend (who I had confided in with regard to my want/obsession for a daughter) so easily just drops it into the conversation that she is carrying her first daughter. Obviously I am happy for her but she almost seemed smug about it and I found it very hard to hold it together. This is SO not me, who have I become?!!
I feel ill thinking about it and DH just doesn't get it. None of his family have mixed gender families of their own, his mother had 4 girls, then 2 boys. His siblings all have either all sons or all daughters and I feel like we won't ever have a daughter. I reallly wanted to keep my kids close together in age but we won't be able to TTC#3 until September 2016 at the very earliest and I feel like I might just explode waiting for that to come around. I don't even know why I am posting this, I think I just needed to write it down. I feel helpless. I have a really "planner" type personality and this is one thing I can't plan or control. I have a theory based on what time of year you conceive. A huge amount of women I know have given birth to baby girls in the summer months (from May to early-mid August), very few boys have been born around that time. I could spend ages thinking about it on any given day and its driving me mad :worry: Please, someone, anyone, can you tell me I'm not crazy :(
March 10th, 2015, 12:38 PM
atomic sagebrush

Hi again hopper, I'm sorry that you haven't been able to TTC yet.

Some people just really don't care if they have all one gender or the other. That's fine for them but I did care LOL. Doesn't make either side wrong, just that people are different, you know?? Please don't let other people's opinions make you feel bad for what you want.

I know that it;s hard, but you can't go looking for the "magic bullet" type of idea like TTC in a certain month - even though there may be a very slight variation in genders conceived by seasons (and you can read all about that here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...s-swaying.html there are still TONS of opposites conceived in those months and that is not where you need to put your focus. The science indicates that it's unlikely your theory is a reality and this is shown in actual studies done in tens of thousands of women.

Fwiw I have a May boy and my stepdad was born in Aug. so obviously not any kind of guarantee.
March 10th, 2015, 03:21 PM
maidentomother

I & my mom born in Jan & March, my brother in May. My BFF has boys born in Nov, June, and July. The seasonal effect is very slight and definitely not something to depend on!
March 10th, 2015, 07:29 PM
hopper

Thanks ladies, I think I am just grasping at straws here. I had a panicky moment earlier but think I am ok for now. A huge part of it is the not knowing when we will even TTC as things keep cropping up that make us have to put it off! So frustrating.
Just while I am posting I have a question - I did buy a custom plan when I first joined about a year ago but obviously haven't used it yet. Does anyone know if I can renew my subscription to access the personal plan again or do I need to buy a new one all over again?
March 10th, 2015, 07:56 PM
bluebonnet22

I'm so sorry for what you are going through! As a fellow boy mom was an obsessive personality I completely understand where you're coming from. I had a girl only family growing up and since I was a little girl I had a huge desire to have a mixed gender family (I think it came from always wanting a brother growing up). I wish you the best of luck and as you know you're not alone!
March 10th, 2015, 10:19 PM
Mum4life

I understand who you feel :( If it helps I have 2 boys, all born in different pars of the year. January (summer), April (autumn) and August (winter)
March 11th, 2015, 05:31 AM
hopper

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebonnet22

I'm so sorry for what you are going through! As a fellow boy mom was an obsessive personality I completely understand where you're coming from. I had a girl only family growing up and since I was a little girl I had a huge desire to have a mixed gender family (I think it came from always wanting a brother growing up). I wish you the best of luck and as you know you're not alone!

This is exactly it!!! There was just me and my sister growing up and we were 5 years apart. I always wanted a big brother and a little brother (not asking for much!) and I always wanted to have my family closer in age as it wasn't until my sister and I were adults that we developed more of a bond. It was almost like growing up as an only child as I was close to 6 when my sister came along. I see you are having B/G twins, what an absolute joy!! I am so happy for you and wish you all the very best xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mum4life

I understand who you feel :( If it helps I have 2 boys, all born in different pars of the year. January (summer), April (autumn) and August (winter)

Thank you :) I think I was definitely grasping at straws yesterday. I read the link atomic posted above (having read it before but refreshed my memory) and it definitely makes sense. I had a dream last night I was 7 months pregnant and didn't know the baby's gender, I was looking at my bump moving and it made me so super broody - as if I wasn't already! I told DH this morning and he said I need to stop thinking about TTC again as its just not going to happen til at least next year :( I can't help but think about it, I'm trying to distract myself with other activities. Hopefully the longing will abate a little until TTC is a possibility for us! I wish I wasn't so much of a planner, I was so military about TTC our boys and we conceived them first try. I'm wondering if my personality is just more conducive to conceiving boys!!! Is that even possible?
March 11th, 2015, 12:43 PM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by hopper

Thanks ladies, I think I am just grasping at straws here. I had a panicky moment earlier but think I am ok for now. A huge part of it is the not knowing when we will even TTC as things keep cropping up that make us have to put it off! So frustrating.
Just while I am posting I have a question - I did buy a custom plan when I first joined about a year ago but obviously haven't used it yet. Does anyone know if I can renew my subscription to access the personal plan again or do I need to buy a new one all over again?

Yes just renew for the smaller fee and then we'll work together via the coaching service.