How do you handle going to baby showers for your DG?

Well, I just got invited to a baby shower that I DO NOT want to attend because for some reason I am particularly jealous of this person getting a girl after a boy. It's my husbands family so he might want to go. I really want to get over these feelings but it's hard because we both have boys the same age and I swayed for a girl and it didn't happen for me. And I don't know if she swayed or not but she does get a girl. And now I have to go to her baby shower where everyone will oh and ah over all the cute girl things. I didn't have a shower because I really have no family here. Which also fuels my jealousy because she has support and my husband and I don't. I know I sound bitter and childish. I'm really not like that usually and I was in a better place with my GD but I don't think I can do this.

When I was pregnant with DS2 my friend was pregnant with a girl (we both already had a boy). One of our friends was throwing her a baby shower but I knew I couldn't face all the girly stuff and seeing her joy whilst I was trying to cope with GD as I was expecting a boy. So I decided not to go. I just let her know I wasn't feeling well (well I wasn't, I was sick with jealousy) and wished her a great evening with friends. I'm glad I didn't go - I could not have brought anything positive to that party.


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Thank you. It's hard, isn't it? This is the 3rd baby shower for a girl in my husband's family that I have been invited to. I didnt go to the other 2 but they didn't trigger my GD as bad because one was for a teen mom and the other was for a girl after 2 boys. To be fair, I hate baby showers, period and I always have. I think the games and everything are stupid. Just my opinion!

This is like a big family party. They are even having a clown for the kids. So, I feel like hubby might want to go for our ODS but maybe not because we never go to anything his family invites us to since he works so much.

My Sister in law just had a baby shower for her little girl. (First girl in the family on both sides, I have 3DS). I'm not going to lie...it was rough. Thank Goodness for wine because it was the only thing that got me thru it. Also, I'm lucky that my MIL understands my GD. (she has two boys). So, I would just look at her anytime someone made a ignorant comment to me.What was also hard, was I was in the middle of swaying. So, I had to watch what I ate and not start bawling thinking about how easy it was for her to conceive my DG and I'm in the middle of "starving myself" to get one. I know none of this was helpful, but wanted you to know, you aren't alone in your feelings and I'll be thinking about you.

I think steeling myself for the comments is what is really getting me. Plus I don't care for her much and this comes from before her being pregnant with a girl. I wish wine was an option but I don't think it will be.

Sorry to keep venting but part of it is my husband's family is very judgemental and competitive. The women clearly favor girls and they are just materialistic. At least this is the impression I've had of them for the last few years. Our kids are considered special because they are lighter than all the other kids and they get alot of attention for this, which also bugs me. My husband and I are humble people and we don't have much. But I'm away from my family and pretty isolated as a SAHM so they are all we've got around us.

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Originally Posted by pink_bean

I think steeling myself for the comments is what is really getting me. Plus I don't care for her much and this comes from before her being pregnant with a girl. I wish wine was an option but I don't think it will be.

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can you treat yourself to a spa day the day after? something to look forward to that is just for yourself?

Well, lately I can't do anything for myself which is another thing that makes my GD seem so much worse. Believe me, I'm no martyr but my life right now is so, so, hard. Things were getting better but then our babysitter had health problems and there went my only source of childcare. i just never get anytime for self care anymore.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough patch. In such situations that trigger GD I just fake it til I make it. I put on the biggest smile and pretend everything is ok. But if you don't think you can do it, you can send your DH alone with DS, I'm sure your DS would love it with the clown and everything.

I might just do that. I can fake it while I'm there maybe but then I'll just end up feeing bad when we get home.