4th miscarriage. Swaying seems too scary now.

I had grand plans to sway for #3 next year, but found out I was having a "surprise" due this November. At first I was freaked out, but quickly became excited about having another baby. I decided to be "Team Green" and not make gender an issue at all. I think all the weight placed on "finding out" and people's reactions really affected me in the past. I genuinely felt like my gender disappointment was being healed. I wanted this baby, whether it was a girl or another tiny sweet boy.

Due to my history of recurrent M/C, I had multiple ultrasounds done, and saw the heartbeat three times. Then I couldn't find it on my doppler anymore. I thought it was because it was so small. But when I went for my 9 week scan, it revealed the heart stopped beating a few days earlier. I had a D&C the next day. I cannot believe this could happen to me again.

They are doing genetic testing that will also tell me if it was a girl or boy. So I will find out after all, in a sad way.

I used to think I wanted to sway, but now I feel like I don't want to try naturally again. I feel like a woman who has just had her heart broken one too many times who has given up on men. I also have a form of endometriosis so I have two things working against me. I am fertile, but I have twice as many losses as live children and I don't think I can go through this again physically and emotionally. There's too much uncertainty. Especially as "girl sways" tend to be anti-fertility and might(?) increase risk of another one.

I genuinely feel I now have a reason to pursue IVF with PGD without hesitation, seeing as I have had four chromosomally abnormal embryos implant. I feel as though our fairly good insurance might actually cover us now, at least for the IVF. Has anyone pursued IVF after multiple losses and had it covered (I know PGD is usually not)?

Is this over the top, or a reasonable approach? It's a lot more than gender for me now.

I'm so sorry for your losses but if you know that you have had 4 chromosomally normal embryos miscarry, you have some underlying immunity issue that you will have to figure out before you try again or even do IVF. IVF will not fix that. It will just find the normal embryo- it will not correct your implantation issue. You need testing done to figure that out so you can have another baby.

My previous M/Cs were chromosomally ABnormal. :broken: I believe this one might have been too, based on what the tech said about the yolk sac. i will find out the final results soon. I have had many tests done on myself and my recurrent pregnancy loss is still unexplained.

This sucks so much mama - so sorry. I hope you get the answers you need here.


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Thank you. I'm not sure this was the right place to put this post. I'm dealing with hormones crashing and I'm freaked out about the whole TTC thing all over again. This has brought up worries I thought I had left behind years ago.

Oh no lemonade I am so sorry. Can you get some pretesting done, and make your decision then? The pretesting will give an idea of how you would respond to stims.

Thanks, I will look into that, Anchor. I'm seeing my OB this week for a follow up.

First of all I am so so sorry for your loss.

Swaying does not increase chances of a chromosomal abnormality. I have an indepth analysis of swaying and miscarriage here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...scarriage.html

That having been said if you are having repeated losses with chromosomal abnormalities, that is exactly the scenario that IVF/PGD could help and I do hope you are able to get it covered, even if just partly.