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So my loss was confirmed on Friday. Besides from some on and off spotting not much is happening. The cramping is getting very bad though. Very painful especially today. Do I just keep waiting? I know some losses can take weeks and weeks to miscarry. It is just hard not knowing if I will be waiting one week or 4 weeks. Would love to hear the pros and cons.
I am in the same situation at the moment Had my scan toady and growth was not good and very slow heartbeat. My FS said that because it was so small that is will most likely come away by itself and there would be no need for surgery. She also said I have the option of getting a tablet that will make it happen faster (once I have another scan to make sure heartbeat is no longer seen etc).
I had a friend who opted for the tablet, but then after going home and thinking about it, changed her mind to the D & C as she couldn't just wait around for it to happen. So I guess it is what you are feeling at the time?
I am hoping that this all happens naturally and that I don't need a D & C.
Hugs to you :sad:
I'm so sorry for both of you. Going through a miscarriage is really hard. Personally I would always choose to do a D&C especially if you were a bit farther along. Natural miscarriages can be very painful and if everything doesn't come out you end up needing a D & C anyway. What I liked about the D&C is that I didn't experience any pain, and I knew that everything looked really good for trying to get pregnant again (my Dr. did an ultrasound a week later to check on the lining, etc). I also felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I left the hospital and knew I wasn't pregnant anymore, it was very sad but it was also final which is what I needed. I think I also would have hated to be going through the miscarriage with the boys around me at home. For me personally that would have been more traumatic, but only you can know what is best for you.
I'm really sorry both of you are going through this :(
It is a very personal choice so hard to say what to do. With my first m/c I opted for a d&c straight away after finding out it was a blighted ovum as I just wanted it to be over and move on. It was very straight forward and physically I was completely fine after.
With my m/c recently I wanted to wait and let it happen naturally. I actually felt received when I started bleeding because I knew my body was taking care of it. I was lucky I only had to wait 2 weeks from the first scan to the m/c starting. I have posted my story else where but basically I ended up bleeding heavily and had to go to hospital. It was all quite traumatic and I ended up with a d/c but I am still feel it was the right choice for me to let it happen naturally.
If I ever have a m/c again (I really hope I don't!) I would still opt for a natural one although I wouldn't leave it so late to go to hospital if the bleeding is heavy.
So sorry girls :( I've had 3 miscarriages and 3 d&cs. I waited for several weeks the second time but nothing happened. The third time I was so desperate to avoid another d&c I tried misoprostol twice but it didn't work. I think my body loves to hold onto pregnancies but everyone is different. I was so scared of the d&c causing me future problems ttc but the method is very gentle now and I was able to get pregnant quickly soon after. Physically recovery was quick and easy. I wouldn't hesitate to have a d&c if I needed it but I understand waiting if you can stand not knowing when/where it might happen. X
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Originally Posted by ImmiNAddi
Oh no Immi I am so sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing. It is just awful knowing that the baby most likely won't live. I am so so sorry.:( Big hugs to you.
Big hugs to everyone who replied to me and who has also gone through a miscarriage. I asked this question one day too soon it seems...my miscarriage began last night. I am relieved and yet sad all over again. But it is the closure that I need.
Oh sweetie! Hang in there! Please be kind to yourself, and I pray for strength and healing to be sent your way!
It was hard for me- when I had my miscarriage before getting pregnant with DS2. I wasn't told what to expect and the contractions really threw me! It made sense after the fact, but at the time it was so hard going through that...
Know that we will be here for you! Huge hugs [emoji8]
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JMO but with kids to care for I'd have the D and C. My two losses were very early but bled a ton and looked like a crime scene (sorry for TMI) and I would not have wanted to be dealing with it with kids old enough to be asking q's. Hugest hugs and prayers that this goes as easily as is possible.
Mommymachine, if you don't mind telling me (you can private message me if you prefer), were you able to 'hide' it from your children - if they were around at the time? And is it an on-going thing, or over and done with quickly. Sorry if that sounds bad, I just have no idea - and I know that everyone will be different etc....
Atomic - I am wondering if I should do the D & C too now, as I know I couldn't have it happen whilst the boys are around and hubby at work (if it's a big mess/painful etc). I was hoping it may just be a matter of 'feeling' it come and head to the loo/shower and be done in a few mins? I have no idea what it is like, or how long it takes etc..... :worry:
Immi I don't mind:)
Thankfully, DHs work is seasonally and he isn't working right now. So yes because of that I am able to hide it. My oldest knows I lost the baby (he overheard me talking about an ultrasound so I came clean to him) but I still wouldn't want them knowing what my body is now having to go through. It is painful and I am having contractions. It's an on going thing but it was with my other miscarriages as well, and they were earlier than this one. I do think everyone is different.
I am relieved that my body is handling it, but if DH was working it would be a completely different thing.
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