Email quote from my ob - no hope for us over 40 apparently! :(

She replied to some questions with this email message,

"Our recommendation to all women, whether they have had miscarriages or not, is to take 500mcg of folic acid per day. Folic acid ONLY decreases the risk of your baby having Spina bifida. It does NOT decrease your risk of miscarriage. Women can write anything they want on the Internet, so you will read a lot of things that aren't really correct. There is NO evidence that Coq10 decreases miscarriage. In Australia, we do not recommend the use of baby aspirin or progesterone. Professor Wallace from Monash Healthis a world authority, and he believes these will not help. Your only increased risk of miscarriage is your age. At your age, your pregnancy has a higher chance of being a miscarriage than it has of giving you a baby. At your age, if you do carry a baby, that baby has a greater than 1 in 10 chance of having Downs Syndrome. I am pleased you want to be as healthy as possible, but you are not able to change the one thing that really gives you a high risk of miscarriage, and a high risk of a baby with abnormalities. That one thing is YOUR AGE."

I have just turned 44 years old. I had a healthy baby 2 months shy of turning 41. Is it just me or does this obstetrician sound negative toward women in their 40s having babies? After reading that message I really feel like she has scared me out of trying again. Maybe I should just give up on the last girl sway I was planning for January? I was feeling quite positive but now I feel quite defeated. :(

I'm sorry for you :-( but I think you shouldn't take it personally because your OB is stating facts and giving you an advice really more than being a downer . I wish you a healthy pregnancy if you go ahead :-)

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I agree, as per what I said before, that your issue is your age. It wasn't Zofran. It was age. I'm sorry that is just what the truth is. The older we get, the harder it is to get and stay pregnant. I was lucky in that I had a doctor who was very supportive of my pregnancy at 41/42 but others have also had negative experiences. But, like I said in another thread, the info on pregnancies over age 40 may very well be skewed because up until very recently, the majority people even trying to get pregnant over 40 were people who may have had fertility problems to start with, and they may have been more "set" for issues than others are (this is getting and staying pregnant and NOT the risk of chromosomal abnormalities, which absolutely does increase with age no matter what we do, unfortunately)

All that having been said, she is wrong about the folic acid/folate as there are definitely studies done by OTHER experts who DO believe that it helps prevent Downs. (posted links in your other post) Additionally, as I can attest, 500 mcg was NOT ENOUGH to prevent my son's spina bifida as he still developed it when I was taking 800 mcg a day and eating an extremely healthy diet, taking prenatal (I was not swaying). There are also many other neural tube defects aside from spina bifida that can cause miscarriage and folic acid does prevent those.

Re coq10 - Yep, no hard scientific evidence it helps (as of yet). But it doesn't hurt and since pretty much every RE on the planet doing IVF recommends it for egg quality, personally I choose to listen to them

And I don't say that to be discouraging to anyone because we have had many successful pregnancies over 40, mine included. It's just the truth that you have to be honest with yourself about, before going in. Every time I went to the bathroom, thru my whole pregnancy, I expected to be bleeding and that I wasn't is only down to the Grace of God. It can still happen (and I personally know a lady who had a healthy baby at the age of 45, over 50 years ago) it is just harder, that's all.

Yes, I agree to with what your Ob says, but it doesn't mean that you can't still have a healthy baby - just obviously odds are statistically much lower. My Ob was absolutely fantastic with all of my pregnancies at 38, 41, 43 and 45......I know you are feeling very very down at the moment after what you have been through (I felt shocking for quite a while after my HT m/c at 9 weeks when I was 44). Take some time to heal and get over your loss and really hope you get pg again with a healthy DD. Hugx xx

The OB is correct. Age is the biggest factor. That doesn't mean it can't happen but there are obstacles.

What is an RE ladies?

reproductive endocrinologist. more details in other post

Here is a link with a couple of our over 40 babies - Aidansmum was 41 when she had her baby and Little Lunasa was 43. It can happen, just that it's more difficult than when we're 21 and 23. :) http://genderdreaming.com/forum/due-...tml#post770733

Thanks soooo much Atomic. You really do give the best advice ever. I really do think I need to give it one last shot. If it ends the same way, then I will not try again and will settle with the three beautiful cherubs I already have. If it works, and I end up with a healthy baby at the end of it - then all well and good. What are the risks of later miscarriages for women in their 40s do you know? Obviously I would need to go in with my eyes open and not get my hopes up high until well after the first trimester. I would be keeping it to myself this time, except for DH of course. I wouldn't tell the kids or anyone else this time round and would not go setting myself up for disappointment.