weird week!

We had a bit of a weird week on the site last week and I just wanted to go over a few things real quick.

1)People coming in from outside to bully those that they know IRL.

I BEG you guys, please pick user names that do not reveal who you are. Don’t use your same avatar picture or name you use on other sites. You open yourself up for mean people that you know in the real world to track you down and use things you may have posted to harm you. Anything posted from an outside party designed to bully, embarrass, or intimidate another person will of course be deleted but do keep in mind that things you post may be used against you by others. Custody disputes, issues with Child Protective Services - we talk about some raw emotions on here and it’s just best if we do that anonymously. One woman who posted on Ingender a few years ago had her information taken from that site and used against her in a medical malpractice case. Post private things in private forums - that’s why we have them!

2)Interpersonal spats and quarrels on the site

These do happen sometimes. We have a high standard for behavior on Gender Dreaming and we expect that everyone will act as adults. Don’t say things that don’t need to be said, read what you have written very carefully before posting it, but at the same time, don’t be oversensitive when someone says something that rubs you the wrong way. A little patience and tolerance, asking questions BEFORE shooting people...many times people word something badly or they may have misread or misunderstood something. They may speak English as a second language and not understand the context of what they said. Don’t automatically take offense when none was meant.

We are all here for support, but it isn’t a criticism free zone. People may not approve of things you are doing or have done in your life and if you hang it out there some people may comment on that. Now personally I believe “never judge till you’ve walked in another’s shoes” and I try very hard to be understanding and accepting of everyone’s situation, but just be aware when you air your dirty laundry online you open yourself up for people to tell you their opinions. I can’t control that.

It is not the forum mods’ job to go around stopping people from sniping at each other. We don’t have time and TRUST ME that is how a good forum goes bad fast. Once the tattle tale-ing and she-said, she-said games start the entire atmosphere sours for everyone. And engaging in favortism and playing the popularity game is also very destructive for the site. The mods are supposed to stay neutral as much as possible. So please do not expect the mods to fight your battles for you and do not expect preferential treatment. Even if we are the best of friends, if the mods start picking sides in petty disputes it will ruin everything for everyone. Please do not ask us to be anything other than neutral.

If you receive a bullying PM please report it. Don’t engage them. Don’t turn into a bully yourself because someone is being nasty. Take the high road. Report it and walk away. We have been lucky so far that this hasn’t happened much, let’s keep it that way. Bullies will be banned.

3)People coming over from other sites to torment and harass people.

If you are a regular on Ingender or any other site that tolerates bullying and meanness, spread the word that people bullying on that site and coming over here chasing people to continue to bully them is not going to be tolerated. This includes ME. Bullying me is not allowed. :)

We have the absolute right to share our opinions freely. I personally think that some of the stuff that they recommend on some other websites is insane and dangerous and wasting years out of people’s fertility and I’m not going to sugarcoat that. I think people lie when they post their sways and that the statistics are garbage compared to ours. I am not badmouthing anyone when I say that. I am reporting the truth as I see it and I have the data to back up every word. I have a moral obligation to stop as many people as I possibly can from doing things that are harmful to them, their husbands, their bank accounts, and their unborn children. When people show up on this site and have been trying to conceive for 2 years, when they’re starving themselves eating nothing but rice cakes and cranberries, when they nearly die after having a miscarriage because they’re on so many blood thinners that their blood doesn’t clot, sometimes that makes me a little testy. I don’t apologize for that. It is because I CARE about you guys and what happens to you that I am critical of those other approaches.

At the same time they can also say what they think about me, but just to keep things accurate - I very kindly allowed Ingender and some other sites, to continue to use the information that I posted when I was back on Ingender. It has been stolen and resold repeatedly by people who called me "friend". I did not have to allow that to happen. I allow it because I want the absolute max amount of people to get their desired gender. I also have about 50 times as much free swaying information available on this site compared to any other site out there, and answer every swaying question personally regardless of a person’s ability to pay, usually within 3 days. Yep, I take money to make people sway plans and sell a few books (if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to help anyone with swaying because I’d be at work all day) and keep my recipes and nutritional info behind a paywall because I don’t want it stolen - but the swaying info is FREE. IG charges for sending PM’s and keeps their studies hidden behind a paywall - same difference. Other sites have stolen and repackaged the information we have on here for free. I have spent thousands of hours and nearly 100,000 posts on the two sites, here and on Ingender helping as many people as I possibly can with gender swaying and gender disappointment, and the vast majority of that I did for no compensation whatsoever. I will continue to do exactly what I have been doing to enable the maximum number of people to achieve their gender dreams safely, sanely, and SOON.

Thanks for hearing me out, guys. Wishing you the best in all things as always.

I couldn't agree more. Thank you for everything you do and all the research and effort you have put into this. If it wasn't for your guidance I'd have done exactly what I've done every other time we TTC. I'd have tried to get healthy and put on weight, done some moderate exercise, popped a few prenatals, and DTD a few times and I'd be sitting here pregnant with DS4 I'm sure!
I also really admire your maturity in dealing with sensitive issues. You do a great job atomic xx

updating a lot of posts, bumping so I can update this