Oh no, I think I messed it up!!!

Buuuuuh, I think I totally messed it up :-(
I seem to O one day early (today) and I had a big fat positive yesterday, when I came home from work again a day too early, so became afraid to dtd so close to O and so I decided to use a diaphragma ( that is an idea we were discussing in a german forum about a year ago to reduce sperm..) and leave it in just for about 2-4 hours so some sperm are dead and some aren't BUT when I took it out ( just an hour after dtd, all sperm came back out I am afraid..What to do now?
I know it's my fault because I suddenly was afraid to hit O so close, but what to do now?
I am thinking about another O+8 try tomorrow in the morning?
I really don't think any sperm made it far...

DO NOT have another attempt. I BEG you not to do that.

What came out was semen, not sperm. Sperm is microscopic and cannot be seen with the naked eye. Sperm comes out of semen within 15-30 minutes after intercourse and the only thing left in the semen is just dead and dying sperm. But if there was not any EWCM in your vagina then there was nowhere for the sperm to go and they would probably have all died anyway.

I hoped to get accidentally-on-purpose pregnant with my diaphragm for several months but it didn't happen. I would not recommend doing this in a different month. It can still happen, but it is just really hard.

When you think about timing next month or whenever, remember this month and the way that you ovulated on a different day than you expected. Many of the people who THINK they did timing, had the exact same thing happen and got pregnant on days that are totally different than they believe.

Thank you much atomic, I am mad at myself, because I could be really happy about my sway now ( my goal, whatever outcome) and now it was all for nothing?
So I shouldn't try again.. I was planning to, because I thought nobody is waiting for the egg so the new sperm will have a good chance and if timing doesn't sway that much, I have a good chance to still get pregnant with a girl, but you don't think so.
So I will not try again?
I just ovulated a hour ago ( I think) so tomorrow at 6 before work would be the only time possible.. Oh well I guess it was really all for nothing , thank you still so very much for your time and caring advice!!!!

I honestly cannot and do not know if you have any sperm waiting for the egg or not. Let's say for the sake of argument, that you do. Maybe some got through and you will conceive from that. WE know from our results that 2 attempts is about 10-15% lower odds of pink than 1 attempt is, so for the best sway I would play it safe and stick with one attempt, then you can change things next month if it's a BFN.

If you are only trying this one month only, or if you just would prefer to try again, then of course you should have another attempt. It is still 60-65 % odds of pink even with 2 attempts.

Why is it all for nothing?? YOu may not have gotten pregnant this month anyway even under ideal circumstances.

If you want the absolute best chance of pink and can TTC next month, then stick with one attempt.
If you want a better chance of conception, then TTC again.

I will see it that way now, thank you so very much! Of course we can try again, probably not the next two month but after that and I will be patient and happily looking forward to our successful month!
Sometimes there is some idea stuck in your head, and conceiving this month seemed perfect to me, but every other month will do, just afraid I can't lose any more weight- I am way too skinny already now, so I guess I will gain some over christmas and then lose it again before the next attempt..

If you can't try for several months then have another attempt!

Hello! I hope you all had a peaceful and lovely christmas time. I just wanted to update, that I tested neagativ today 12 dpo and I am actually relieved because I felt like I messed it all up!
Now we take a break until March/April because my husand and I will go to New York!!! for the first time in our lifes, his first time in the US and first time without kids! The trip will be in the end of February and I don't want to be in early pregnancy then!
Is there anything I should definitely keep up with during that time?
I am trying to gain some weight now to have more to lose in march, and I still avoide meat- but that is all I guess!
Thank you!

I would not have you regain weight to lose it again. There is no evidence that helps in any way, and it gives your body a chance to save up a bunch of nutrients. It has also backfired on many of us (myself included) as we had accidental pregnancies right when we were gaining the weight and ended up with boys.

I would just have you stay vegetarian and try to hold steady on weight right where you are.