Why is it that most of us want GIRLS?

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February 2nd, 2016, 05:00 PM
Wantanother2017

Why is it that most of us want GIRLS?

It seems so obvious in talking with other moms and reading online that the overwhelming majority of mothers with GD wish they had daughters? I barely ever read about moms who desperately want sons. I thought it was just me until I just recently discovered the term "Gender Disappointment" and it opened up a whole new world to me. Blogs and more blogs about "Life Without Pink." Finally I'm not the only one experiencing these feelings. But on the other hand it almost makes it seem worse that this is so one sided, as if the fact that women are so commonly sad they are without daughters even more of a confirmation that we are missing out on something huge. Its such an emotional rollercoaster somedays. Just wanted to share my thoughts.
February 2nd, 2016, 05:26 PM
sharon

I have noticed that too, the women i know who have only daughters sont seem so 'hung up' about not having a son, but the other way round is a different story!
February 2nd, 2016, 05:56 PM
Wantanother2017

Totally. I had this discussion at work recently and all the 3 other women spoke up about how they are "still not over never having a daughter" even years after their last child was born. The women who never had sons were totally unphased by it. Naturally.
February 2nd, 2016, 06:16 PM
sweetdream

I think its because we are girls?
And there are differences in men and women. And that results in the need of having someone on our side?

I think men have this with sons.

(There are exceptions of course)

But for me its something like that. Sharing girl things with my daughter. Bonding with her like i did with my mom. Someone who looks op to me as a girl rolemodel.
Someone i can relate to. Knowing how she feels growing up. Getting breasts, falling in love, choices in life etc.

Not that i can't do that with my sons. But sometimes i just don't understand the manly brain. LoL.

And i know its an illusion. But i think this al based on feelings not common sence.
February 2nd, 2016, 06:32 PM
sharon

Yes i would say my yearn for daughters is more about passing on my girly knowledge and having someone to do girly stuff with. I know you can get tomboy girls ofcourse, but im not into 'boys' things,games,toys at all but im mesmerised by the girls section in every shop lol.:princess:
February 2nd, 2016, 06:35 PM
aussiesmiler

I had GD with my first son and then....well not sure I would use the word severe, because he was just and still is seriously cute (no bias of course!) but certainly stronger GD when my second son was born and it felt worse because Mum seemed to suffer it too and what I needed from her was support and love not disappointment that I had another son, because she had a daughter, so what did it really, honestly, have to do with her?! But looking back I'm assuming her disappointment was for me....mostly. The funny thing about it is that she had my brother first (she had a PP) and she said she desperately wanted a girl and got me BUT if backed into a corner she will admit my brother is her favourite!! And she doesn't have to admit this because it is BLATANTLY obvious LOL! I'm totally fine about it, but what amuses me, is that most women (certainly not all) want a daughter (as well as a son) yet often women favour their sons!! A little ironic really.

Just food for thought on our gender desires and how it pans out in the long run. What I do know is that I wouldn't wish GD on my worst enemy.
February 2nd, 2016, 10:00 PM
familymatters

Quote:

Originally Posted by aussiesmiler

I had GD with my first son and then....well not sure I would use the word severe, because he was just and still is seriously cute (no bias of course!) but certainly stronger GD when my second son was born and it felt worse because Mum seemed to suffer it too and what I needed from her was support and love not disappointment that I had another son, because she had a daughter, so what did it really, honestly, have to do with her?! But looking back I'm assuming her disappointment was for me....mostly. The funny thing about it is that she had my brother first (she had a PP) and she said she desperately wanted a girl and got me BUT if backed into a corner she will admit my brother is her favourite!! And she doesn't have to admit this because it is BLATANTLY obvious LOL! I'm totally fine about it, but what amuses me, is that most women (certainly not all) want a daughter (as well as a son) yet often women favour their sons!! A little ironic really.

Just food for thought on our gender desires and how it pans out in the long run. What I do know is that I wouldn't wish GD on my worst enemy.

Your mum sounds like my mum. When she found out we were having our second boy (keeping in mind i already have a daughter) she couldn't hide her disappoinment. Then every time we went shopping she'd look longingly at little baby girls in prams and say to me "why can't you be having one of those??!"... And then we'd be in a store and she'd pick up the cutest girls dress she could find and sigh.... I mean seriously, how rude! It really hurt to know that somehow I was disappointing her by having a son. Im sure that attributed to some GD on my part. It was like my son wasn't valued. It really hurt.
February 2nd, 2016, 10:15 PM
Wantanother2017

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetdream

I think its because we are girls?
And there are differences in men and women. And that results in the need of having someone on our side?

I think men have this with sons.

(There are exceptions of course)

But for me its something like that. Sharing girl things with my daughter. Bonding with her like i did with my mom. Someone who looks op to me as a girl rolemodel.
Someone i can relate to. Knowing how she feels growing up. Getting breasts, falling in love, choices in life etc.

Not that i can't do that with my sons. But sometimes i just don't understand the manly brain. LoL.

And i know its an illusion. But i think this al based on feelings not common sence.

True! As as women we are much more emotional thinkers. I am honestly jealous of those women that are thrilled to be a mom of only boys. I adore my son, but I'd be lying if I don't acknowledge that I fight feelings of wanting a daughter as well, everyday.
February 2nd, 2016, 10:45 PM
pink_bean

Quote:

Originally Posted by familymatters

Your mum sounds like my mum. When she found out we were having our second boy (keeping in mind i already have a daughter) she couldn't hide her disappoinment. Then every time we went shopping she'd look longingly at little baby girls in prams and say to me "why can't you be having one of those??!"... And then we'd be in a store and she'd pick up the cutest girls dress she could find and sigh.... I mean seriously, how rude! It really hurt to know that somehow I was disappointing her by having a son. Im sure that attributed to some GD on my part. It was like my son wasn't valued. It really hurt.

I think other women feel free to express their disappointment in our all or mostly boy families and I think it is rude and makes GD worse. There are a few people who have done this to me and it makes me avoid them. I do avoid some of moms of girls because I'm sensitive to those kinds of comments. My mom had a PP but never expressed disappointment. I'm grateful to her for that. I think that's very insensitive and I worry about the daughters of some of the women on GD forums who have and only want girls. What if they only have boys?

I have several friends who have all girls and they do really want a boy. Like really sad they never had one. But it does seem like it's worse for moms on GD boards.
February 2nd, 2016, 11:05 PM
Wantanother2017

Quote:

Originally Posted by pink_bean

I think other women feel free to express their disappointment in our all or mostly boy families and I think it is rude and makes GD worse. There are a few people who have done this to me and it makes me avoid them. I do avoid some of moms of girls because I'm sensitive to those kinds of comments. My mom had a PP but never expressed disappointment. I'm grateful to her for that. I think that's very insensitive and I worry about the daughters of some of the women on GD forums who have and only want girls. What if they only have boys?

I have several friends who have all girls and they do really want a boy. Like really sad they never had one. But it does seem like it's worse for moms on GD boards.

Yes, I totally agree. I completely avoid my SIL after she got pregnant the month after I delivered my son with a girl. For the first few months of her pregnancy before she knew the gender she would constantly send me text messages with pics of ugly boy clothes and make comments like "ugh, please don't let this be me, etc.." Of course she had a girl.
She even has the nerve to complain to me about the selection of girl clothing. I unfollow her on FB and avoid her altogether.
(She is truly a terrible person on top of all the insensitive gender comments so I don't miss out on too much)

In a gym class the other day a group of women were discussing the issue of GD actually, as one of the women was due to give birth any day to her 3rd boy. Two of the other women also had 3 boys and were commiserating in how hard never having a daughter still is for them. My friend who has 1 child, a daughter, chimed in with a huge grin on her face "at least you don't have to spend so much $$ on ALL the adorable clothes and dance classes!"
I wanted to scream. I couldn't imagine being so clueless even if I were on the other side. I sometimes feel as though they do it on purpose just to rub it in. Or maybe I'm just oversensitive.

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