Femara /iui advice -need opinions!

Over the past year I started looking for girl away advice and then we got hit with a bomb that my husband had a high count , ok motility (62%) and low morph2%. We were ttc #2 and decided to move on to a re who at first recommended straight to Icsi and then we decided we would continue TI with femara . Took 5mg cd 3-7 for super ovulation . I am a late ovulator(cd 19-21) with a 11-12 day lp. Had a nice 21mm follie on cd 17 a great natural surge and got pregnant. She never tested my progesterone.... Got a pos week before Xmas and started CD 1 on Christmas Day... Had a chemical nightmare where the number was bouncing around and almost had to take the metho shot and luckily it resolved .... I switched re's when I found out about he chemical bc as upset as I was on Xmas she told me she didn't even need to run bloodwork for the chemical and I also can't help but wonder did my progesterone has something to do with it . And I thought if I wind up with ivf I want a place / dr with published success rates and accessibility.,..
I moved on in January and the cycle was a bust after my chemical . I ovukated weakly while my hormones were all over the place and a high hcg. He said I needed to rest and was right . He followed up every day and I constantly heard from the nurses - so nice to feel like I could ask questions and they respected my opinions .
The next cycle he suggested I do clomid to try to get more eggs as the femara doesn't really do that. I was willing and did 50mg cd 3-7 and basically it made no difference ovulated on my own with no cm and knew the cycle was a wash. So finally 2weeks ago we did femara 2-6 7.5mg . I had a 21.6 on cd 12 triggered with Novarel and did iui 36 hours later ( with bd at trigger, and after iui) they also did a sa on dh sperm and the count was about 62 with a 36 hour hold and motility was up to 80% and morph 4% .... So I think his lifestyle changes and vitamins are working! I was incredibly optimistic about this iui even though I felt like my follicle was ready and my body wasn't ready to ovulate ( no cm , I always have a lot and no where near a lh surge without trigger) . Dh washed numbers were 9.6 in .5 cc , with progression of 3-4 and 90-92% motility . Dr was happy and we felt like finally. I did prometrium 200 x2 3dpo Well I tested out trigger and thought it was never leaving and turns out another chemical which basically self resolved by 14dpo and I stopped prometrium yesterday - my progesterone was 13 yesterday and hcg was already 1. Waiting for cd 1. Obviously upset and to be honest I was ready to bite the bullet and just do ivf ... Better success rate , prob have frozen embryos and I am exhausted.... My re said he really feels he can get me pregnant with iui ( which is shocking with low success rates and said we have a 13-20% chance with iui and it's getting rid of some of the abnormally morph sperm and putting it closer to goal) I agreed to do 1 more cycle and line ourselves up for ivf . I never thought we would be here when #1 was a one time try first month ... And that is why re said we should continue iui.
Sorry for the back story so long and all but I think it will help when giving me advice.... Re wants me to do femara 7.5 cd 5-9 10k Novarel trigger and progesterone again .i m questioning a couple things - why 5-9 when I'm a late ovulator naturally? Won't this push it out more? He said it doesn't matter - he also said the earlier ovulation has not had success .. That while my follies are ready by size perhaps my hormones are not and we should help my natural cycle being that the meds aren't really successfully overriding it. I can't find anyone taking cd 5-9 what are your thoughts on this ? I was pushing for 3-7 again but obviously that did result in a chemical - do I just listen to him? Since the experience with the old re I was everything explained to me and I ask lots of questions which I'm sure gets annoying but hey it's my body ...Also any tips on iui success ? Should we avoid intercouse day before - my re said no more the merrier with a healthy count his partner said yes so washed ones are in the "frontline " so to speak. I did ask about injectables and he would rather see me do ivf said it is very uncontrolled and also there is a high risk of ohss and multiples and with my history it would be bad practice to recommend ....

Sorry so many typos and sooo streak of consciousness - hard to read what I'm writing on phone . I figured I would throw out this experience to this community with a lot of experience and advice bc I need someone else to run it by and see if I should be asking any questions ... ( o and we were both genetically tested and have no carrier issues ) only thing is I have hashimotos - with a totally self controlled tsh of 1.5 but elevated antibodies every re and my regular Endo say that with just elevated antibodies I probably had with my son and also it doesn't need to be medicated and it's not preventing pregnancy - I do keep bringing this up to the dr though probably bc j hate being inthe unexplained bucket - thanks ladies!!!!

A lot of doctors want to try what they can do without going to IVF because while on paper it looks like wham bam thank you ma'am, it's actually a grueling process and may not work either so that's why (s)he's going this route first, just to give you every chance to avoid the process.

If you O later normally it actually makes sense to try it later. It may just be how your body works, and if they tried it earlier and it didn't work, it's a sensible thing to consider. Yes, it's a viable set of days to use it on and many people do take it those days. It won't push it out more, it makes you ovulate so you may even go earlier.

You should have intercourse absolutely with the IUI. Yes yes yes. Let's say there was something off with the ones that got washed then you have that added layer of security. Most RE's want you to DTD, his partner is wrong.

I think more and more docs are moving away from injectibles. If you respond to Femara or Clomid htere is no need for them anyway and you take the risks without any benefit. Injectibles are for people who don't respond to those.