Will I have this desire for the rest of my life???

I haven't been on since having my 5th Son 11 months ago. I feel the need to be here right now, I don't know where else to go or speak to.

I have wanted a DD prob since after my 2nd boy and we tried a timing sway with DS 3 which obviously failed and then on our 4th we did a big sway with supplements, diet, timing,splime etc which also failed and well our 5th was a suprise conceived on the pill.

I love all my boys extremely but I still have that want for a girl, I hide my feelings from DH as he thinks everything is perfect in our life right now and it is (except my want for a dd) husband doesn't want anymore kids and I try to convince myself I don't either (but who am I kidding?)

Just recently my thoughts about this has surfaced just from little comments my husband made like 'I love your belly when your pregnant' and then yesterday at my son's 8th birthday I made a comment saying 'George is 1year next month and we need another baby' and we had a spare seat at the table at resteraunt and he made a comment about it.

I just wish I could turn my feelings off :( Does the want ever go away??? Im ok for periods of time and then there are times its all I think about.

I love my boys to bits and wouldn't change any if them but there is that gap, our pets are all girls (2 dogs, 1 cat 1 African Pygmy Hedgehog and 1 Hamster) I sometimes think I get girl pets to try fill the gap but nothing works :sad:

Sorry if im rambling I just feel sad at the thought of never having a daughter...one of those days for me!!!

I get that feeling. I feel like perhaps if I focused all my energy into moving on without my girl I could achieve it but it would not be being true to how I feel now and my desire for a daughter. I hope that you and your husband can work out whether or not to add to your family and they you make peace with that decision. If you do try for another girl then I wish you lots of luck! Xx

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Ps should add your boys are soooo adorable!!!

Thanks Mulberry, and good luck to you ttc a daughter.

I do try so hard to focus on moving on but I always end up back with that desire and I know I'm not being true to myself. I would love to speak to hubby but I can't bring myself to do it. He thinks everything is perfect with our life atm and it is. I just dont know if I will ever be a peace with the thought if never having a daughter :(

Just imo: it DOES sound like your husband might be testing the waters with you about another baby! I'd try open and honest discussion. I think good partners understand it's our bodies carrying the load, so rather than outrightly asking (or worse -- demanding!) they might hint and try to feel things out.

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Thanks Babygirl, good luck with your journey for your dd!

I think if we was guaranteed a girl then hubby would have another, but I have never spoke to him about high tech and even if I did I don't think it is something he would consider but honestly I have just been having a read about it again just now.

I find it hard that I have 5 beautiful boys and people say I should be happy and content with that but im not I still have that desire for a daughter (that mother/daughter bond) although my boys are very much mummy boys :) it kills me to see other ppl get what they want and so easily too.

I wonder the same thing. I had a client, a very old lady, who had four sons. I always remember her murmuring during one meeting...I can't remember how it even came up..."We tried and tried for that girl but it just didn't happen." I remember that because I wonder the same thing you do...will I ever get over this? Will I be an old lady still mourning the daughter I never had? I wish I could switch my brain and just be totally content that I have two beautiful, bright, healthy sons who are so much fun and so loving. I love them; they make me so happy! I don't even understand totally why I am so hung up on having a daughter. I guess I worry about the future too...about feeling sad as I watch friends plan their daughters weddings...or be there for the birth of their babies. Although, one day recently my five-year-old boy who is super thoughtful and well, contemplative, was talking about becoming a dad. He was asking me about various stages of life and we talked elementary school, high school, and college, and then becoming an adult. And he said, "And after college, I'll meet my babies, right?" And I said yes, after college he can get married and have kids. Then I said, "Can I come to the hospital when your baby is born and hold the baby?" And he thought for a minute and replied, "Yes. Well, I want to hold him first. Then you can. Then my wife." HahahaHAAAAA! That won't be the way it goes, but I do hope I can be a part of it. :)

Throwaway, I might try to push some hints at him and maybe pluck the courage to tell him how I'm feeling.

Ocean city, you have just totally described how I feel. How sweet of your little boy to say such cute and lovely things.

How sweet ocean city :) love how thoughtful little boys can be!
Good luck with that conversation happy lea! Xx