Please help put my mind at ease!!!!!

Hi girls,

I have been doing some thinking lately (always dangerous I know!) about the effects swaying pink has on conceiving a heathly baby and whether everything we do gives us more chance of conceiving a child with special needs in reducing our fertility and OH sperm counts?

I guess the closer I get to my attempt (mid october), the more I think about things and the effect it would have on my boys if we were to conceive a child with special needs and if I was in any part to play in that in my desire for a girl then I am not sure I could forgive myself.

I am pretty sure that everything we are doing is just encouraging a healthy girl sperm to fertilise an egg rather than a healthy boy, but I guess I just need a bit of reassurance.

I hope no one was offended by my post, I just had to let it out and you all seem so understanding - even to stupid fears and concerns!!

Lx

I understand your concern. Really in more ways than I am comfortable talking about but a "special needs" child is the result most often from completely random occurence with chromosomes and has nothing to do with genetics or heredity. I think you should do what you are comfortable doing and nothing more.

My DS2 is 20 years old and is severely autistic. He's mentally challenged and non-verbal. I had a PERFECT pregnancy. I took no medications (not even aspirin), was a great body weight, ate well, never drank or took any kind of drug. And yet he ended up with autism. Special needs can be completely random. I don't think the girl diet will affect your baby to that extent as long as you're taking folic acid and not completely abusing yourself. Hope that helps!

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Originally Posted by maybeoneday

Hi girls,

I have been doing some thinking lately (always dangerous I know!) about the effects swaying pink has on conceiving a heathly baby and whether everything we do gives us more chance of conceiving a child with special needs in reducing our fertility and OH sperm counts?

I guess the closer I get to my attempt (mid october), the more I think about things and the effect it would have on my boys if we were to conceive a child with special needs and if I was in any part to play in that in my desire for a girl then I am not sure I could forgive myself.

I am pretty sure that everything we are doing is just encouraging a healthy girl sperm to fertilise an egg rather than a healthy boy, but I guess I just need a bit of reassurance.

I hope no one was offended by my post, I just had to let it out and you all seem so understanding - even to stupid fears and concerns!!

Lx

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I personally do not believe that we are increasing the odds of having a child with special needs at all. In fact, by controlling blood glucose levels in the 2WW, we may actually help our chances at a healthy pg by giving a fertilized egg the right environment in which to develop.

I have seen so many people go through HT and they do everything in their power to make their eggs and sperm healthy, yet still in many cases have nothing but abnormals to put back. This leads me to believe that what they say is true and most of our eggs really ARE no good right from the beginning.

The health of your eggs is determined mostly by what your MOTHER ate and drank (because all your eggs were mostly formed before you were even born) and of course you have had a lifetime of chemicals assaulting you. The idea that suddenly, a few weeks before you TTC, your eggs that you've had your entire life can suddenly be ruined, doesn't make sense to me.

Most of the babies that have ever been born were to people who didn't even have access to clean water, let alone fresh fruits and veg year round from the grocery stre, meat at every meal, etc. Until very recently, people smoked, drank, ate terrible, unfortified foods, and did not even take prenatal vitamins and yet most babies were born perfectly healthy. Since the invention of beer 5000 years ago, most people drank alcohol instead of water because it was safer (even little kids)!!! Not that I'm advising drinking during pg of course, but just that most babies are born healthy in the direst of circumstances and swaying is very far from the direst of circumstances.

And even when you do everythign "right", there are no guarantees. With my DS 1 and 2 people didn't even know about folic acid and I never took it before pregnancy...with DS 3 I did take folic and he STILL has a NTD!! In fact, despite prenatals and folic, rates of some disorders are rising dramatically.

The exception is long abstinence in older guys, which has been linked to a very very slight increase in birth defects. And I also don't like O+12 for anyone because I think it's much safer to get pg with an egg that is not about to die.

Thank you so much for all of your replies, I really appreciate it and know it can be a bit of a sensitive topic. I am feeling much more confident about my sway now and will carry on with 'the plan'. We were never going to do abstinence anyway as DH said he could never go that long, and I am not patient enough to wait for O+12!!

I also see the logic in the glucose levels in the 2WW, so am happy to stay away from chocolate for a bit longer!!!

The rest is in the hands of the gods and whatever will be, will be.

Thanks again xx