I feel like I'm betrayed by my close friend

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July 19th, 2016, 12:34 PM
pinkcomestrue

I feel like I'm betrayed by my close friend

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July 19th, 2016, 01:56 PM
trifecta

I wouldn't tell her but I can confirm your opinion that it was a lousy thing for her to do if you guys are close. There are a plenty of names. She shouldn't have picked the one that was special to you. It sounds like she knows it, too. In the long run I would let it go and not let it damage your relationship but I can see why it was hurtful.
July 19th, 2016, 02:26 PM
atomic sagebrush

Question. Was it a relatively common name or was it very special to you personally??
Question 2. How close a friend and how sure are you that she knew you'd be upset by it.

I have seen this happen quite a number of times and I suspect from the name-ers position it often looks different than it does from the name-ee's position, if that makes sense. If someone that I was acquainted with told me that a name I wanted to use might be used for a theoretical child in the future, I'm honestly not sure how seriously I would take that provided that it was a relatively common name. There are always people out there who say "I'm naming baby whatever" and then never have a baby or change their minds anyway or you may not even be friends in the future, and I think to some extent it may be first come, first served if it's a name that is in fairly normal use. (Isabella, Ava, etc) I mean if you start avoiding names on the basis of someone may name somebody something in the future it would make it really hard to pick a name. EVERYBODY is going around claiming this name or that name and it makes it tough.

My brother's girlfriend had a baby (with my brother, so it's my niece) and she named it "Avalyn". Now, my grandma was named Evelyn and I really, really had that in my back pocket as a name to use for a potential DD. It was annoying, but in retrospect I realize that I very well may not have used that name anyway and I would not expect that no one could ever use any similar name. I ended up getting a name for my DD that I liked better anyway and so all's well that ended well, you know??

If it was something highly unusual and very special like your great-grandmother's full name and it's really unusual, and not at all common then yeah I'd take offense at that. But if it's just like "I told my friend I'd name my daughter Emma" and then she "stole" it - I'm just not sure that's quite the same thing. JMO
July 19th, 2016, 04:38 PM
pinkcomestrue

I feel like I'm betrayed by my close friend

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Question. Was it a relatively common name or was it very special to you personally??
Question 2. How close a friend and how sure are you that she knew you'd be upset by it.

I have seen this happen quite a number of times and I suspect from the name-ers position it often looks different than it does from the name-ee's position, if that makes sense. If someone that I was acquainted with told me that a name I wanted to use might be used for a theoretical child in the future, I'm honestly not sure how seriously I would take that provided that it was a relatively common name. There are always people out there who say "I'm naming baby whatever" and then never have a baby or change their minds anyway or you may not even be friends in the future, and I think to some extent it may be first come, first served if it's a name that is in fairly normal use. (Isabella, Ava, etc) I mean if you start avoiding names on the basis of someone may name somebody something in the future it would make it really hard to pick a name. EVERYBODY is going around claiming this name or that name and it makes it tough.

My brother's girlfriend had a baby (with my brother, so it's my niece) and she named it "Avalyn". Now, my grandma was named Evelyn and I really, really had that in my back pocket as a name to use for a potential DD. It was annoying, but in retrospect I realize that I very well may not have used that name anyway and I would not expect that no one could ever use any similar name. I ended up getting a name for my DD that I liked better anyway and so all's well that ended well, you know??

If it was something highly unusual and very special like your great-grandmother's full name and it's really unusual, and not at all common then yeah I'd take offense at that. But if it's just like "I told my friend I'd name my daughter Emma" and then she "stole" it - I'm just not sure that's quite the same thing. JMO

I know what you mean, that's why I told myself maybe I shouldn't think too much because once I really expecting a girl we might change our mind by then too, and she seems a nice friend so I don't want to ruin our friendship too although it shocked me a lot when they announced it..

The name is quite unusual

I actually feel better just by typing on here!
July 19th, 2016, 04:42 PM
pinkcomestrue

I feel like I'm betrayed by my close friend

Quote:

Originally Posted by trifecta

I wouldn't tell her but I can confirm your opinion that it was a lousy thing for her to do if you guys are close. There are a plenty of names. She shouldn't have picked the one that was special to you. It sounds like she knows it, too. In the long run I would let it go and not let it damage your relationship but I can see why it was hurtful.

You are right! I have to learn how to let go! Not worth it..although I really really really want to tell her something but I guess whatever I say, it will make things worse :(

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