45 too old......

Since I turned 45 I am terrified that my dream of one last baby is finally gone. It sucks! Then today I was hanging out with one of my good friends (who is 36) and she confided in me that she is 14 weeks pregnant, and they weren't even trying. They were done. They have 3 kids already and she'd given away all her baby stuff and was happy with just the 3 and bingo! She doesn't always ovulate and so doesn't always get a period and never knows she is pregnant until after the first trimester and she also doesn't get pregnancy symptoms like nausea or morning sickness (lucky bitch! Lol). So, as much as I was and am happy for her, it's like a kick in my stomach at the same time. She knows everything about my ttc journey and how I've been desperate for one last baby....I've wanted it and not gotten it and she has not wanted it but gotten it. She even mentioned to me about months ago when I saw two eggs in a nest in my backyard and cracked open 2 double holler eggs in day saying she thought it was for her, the good luck or sign of fertility. I guess this is the part of life right now that really sucks. When I am 45 and faced with declining fertility and many of my friends are younger (like mid-late 30s) and either have a baby already or are pregnant. And today my Mum texted me and told me my sister said to her, "why is she (she being me) even trying to get pregnant?" - like I'm too old for it to even happen, or after horrendous miscarriage last year, etc. so I'm on a downer about it now. And I have that Hysterescopy booked in for 11th November. Maybe I should just bite the bullet so to speak and have the damn Hysterescopy. Any thoughts ladies? :(

If your friend doesn't know when she is ovulating then she's basically ttc bc she can drop an egg at anytime....which appears to have happened. Kinda annoying when you want something so bad and it just drops into someone elses lap and they are so indifferent about it. Oh well.

I dont think you need to change friends bc young friends keep YOU young.

As for your sister or mum - they shouldn't have any say one way or another. It's always amazing to me how most women are Pro-choice....unless your "choice" is to have another baby & then its somehow their right to blurt out their opinion on the matter!

I know you've been torn on the hysteroscopy for a few months now. If it will make you feel better, then just do it and get it over with. I really doubt they will find anything but even so its nice to have some peace of mind.

Hi 1moregirl, I had a hysteroscopy back in June. She also did a d&c i think because i have a lot of scarring from previous c-sections. I had a small cervical polyp & ovarian cyst. I got pregnant in September by surprise but miscarried at 5 weeks. Not sure if the procedure helped but you never know! I turned 45 in July so it's certainly possible to get pregnant at " our age " I take ubiquinol/vit D3/folate daily and iron 1/2 a week as i rarely eat meat. I have 3 boys :)

Wish you the best!

It's an uphill battle to be sure - it doesn't mean it can't happen, just that you have to guard your heart and be realistic about it, and not let yourself be totally down in the dumps every month. Remember, it may be that you only make 1-2 good eggs a year, and that means 10-11 great attempts that aren't going to end in pregnancy - so when it is BFN, just don't let it totally bum you out, it just means that wasn't the month. :)

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Originally Posted by MrsGoodies

If your friend doesn't know when she is ovulating then she's basically ttc bc she can drop an egg at anytime....which appears to have happened. Kinda annoying when you want something so bad and it just drops into someone elses lap and they are so indifferent about it. Oh well.

I dont think you need to change friends bc young friends keep YOU young.

As for your sister or mum - they shouldn't have any say one way or another. It's always amazing to me how most women are Pro-choice....unless your "choice" is to have another baby & then its somehow their right to blurt out their opinion on the matter!

I know you've been torn on the hysteroscopy for a few months now. If it will make you feel better, then just do it and get it over with. I really doubt they will find anything but even so its nice to have some peace of mind.

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I literally LOL'ed at this Mrs. G, because it's one of my hugest pet peeves the number of people who go around saying "I'm totally pro-choice, a woman's body is totally her bizness" and then turn around with a totally straight face and no irony at all and say "A vagina is NOT a clown car" when someone has like 4-5 kids. GRR.

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Originally Posted by mylittlegirl

Hi 1moregirl, I had a hysteroscopy back in June. She also did a d&c i think because i have a lot of scarring from previous c-sections. I had a small cervical polyp & ovarian cyst. I got pregnant in September by surprise but miscarried at 5 weeks. Not sure if the procedure helped but you never know! I turned 45 in July so it's certainly possible to get pregnant at " our age " I take ubiquinol/vit D3/folate daily and iron 1/2 a week as i rarely eat meat. I have 3 boys :)

Wish you the best!

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Thanks for that info. That really helps! I really want to go ahead with the Hysterescopy next month but I'm worried about the costs involved that happen to be right before Christmas. I am thinking right now that I'm going to reschedule the hysteroscopy for January (fresh start for the New Year) and in the meantime I am still going to keep doing the attempts as not all my attempts have been good ones as I have gotten cold feet at times. I will keep up with the SMEP and BD every second night (not just for attempt at ttc but because it helps to keep DH and I connected and happy in our relationship), I am going to increase my ubiquinol to 200mg daily and I'm also going to start trying some Fertility acupuncture (and acupuncture in general to help with overall health and anxiety). This is my new plan of attack. What do yuo think Atomic? I get really nervous about taking things so I would feel better going from 100 to 200 mg ubiquinol first before going up to 400 straight away. My little girl - how much ubiquinol do yuo take Hun? And I hope yuo get your little girl. I have a sister who had 3 boys and went back a 4th time and swayed a bit and they got their little girl.

I still feel a bit bummed about my good friend being pregnant. I thought we were going to be in the same boat next year with both our 4 yr old babies going off to kinder, but it won't be the same now as she will be expecting another little bundle of joy. Plus she was happy with the three she already has and wasn't wanting another. I guess that is he irony of life sometimes isn't it? Plus she is such a wonderful friend, so I know I will get over it. I wish I could be one of those Mums who is like, 'yep...I've had three kids and I am totally done and 100% happy with that.' Sometimes I stop and think, what the hell is wrong with me? I have 3 beautiful kids already, I'm 45 - I shouldn't be thinking about one more baby? Anyway, at least if I try the acupuncture and have the Hysterescopy, I really will have the peace of mind that I've tried everything. Thanks for listening and sorry for whining and rambling.

I take 200mg ubiquinol, 800 folate & 2000 D3. Follow your gut instinct re; the hysteroscopy if you feel you need to cover all bases. Good luck and dont give up hope!

Mylittlegirl - thanks Hun. I won't give up just yet. Lol! I will start with 200mg ubiquinol and I still have to find folate. I am just taking folic acid but I know folate is better. I've just had a hard time finding it here in Australia. Will keep looking. :)

Hi 1moregirl, I had my DD at 43 (she's two now) and also have two boys 11 and 9, and just wanted to say that having a toddler in my 40's is much tougher than it was in my 30's, even though I'm an active and fit horse rider, and maybe something to consider... Best of luck with whatever you decide [emoji846]


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Little Lunasa - thanks for that. I had my youngest 2 months shy of turning 41 so I have pretty much been through the baby stage and toddler stage in my early 40s. I will just try for a bit longer and see what happens. What will be will be and I can't do anything to change it....can only accept it. Just bummed that last year's pregnancy didn't work out when I was 43....could've had a 7 month old by now. But never mind. I don't usually dwell on the past and think....could've been...should've been, etc.....