Possibly trying IVF, unsure if I should proceed or not

I need to make a decision in the next 2 weeks about whether to try an IVF cycle or not. Some Background:

I just turned 40 two weeks ago. I have a daughter that I conceived at 36, only 2 took months after stopping the BCP that I was on for 18 years. We would like a second child and have been really trying for the last 1.5 years. I got pregnant last December but lost it about at 6 weeks. Started Clomid the month after that for 2-3 cycles with no luck. Did Femara 7.5mg for 2 cycles, both resulted in chemical pregnancies. Since then I have done 3 combo cycles with Femara and 75 units of Gonal F, with no BFP's, 1 cycle was with IUI. All tests and AMH come back as normal, so I have unexplained secondary infertility.

My insurance covers 4 cycles of IVF. So this was always going to be my back up plan for in the future if nothing else worked, we would possibly try that. I was going to try another month or 2 of just Femara and then stop medicated cycles for a few months to lose some weight. ( I am about 20 pounds over for the IVF limit). Unfortunately as of last week our company was sold and most likely our insurance plan will be ending at the end of this year. This has created a time crunch. My RE has suggested and agreed, even though I am 20 pounds over the weight limit, to do an IVF cycle before the end of the year due to the extenuating circumstances of me losing my insurance and IVF would be there next step regardless since nothing else has worked.

I started some of the IVF pre-testing process this week but haven't signed any paperwork yet. Yesterday the box of medication for the IVF cycle came and to say I was overwhelmed is an understatement. 12 boxes of Gonal F, 5 boxes of Cetrotide, 5 days worth of Doxycycline, a Trigger shot, and 2 boxes of Progesterone Vaginal inserts. It really has me second guessing going through with a cycle. That is so much medication to put into my body with no guarantee that I would even get a BFP if I produced enough eggs that would make it to a 5 day transfer. If we do lose the insurance I would not pay out of pocket for another round.

I know a lot of women would kill for the opportunity to get a chance at IVF so I feel foolish at possibly giving up on that chance. I really worry about the side effects in the future of taking that medicaition, some studies save there is an increased risk of Cancer later in life from the IVF meds. My own Mother died of Cancer 5 years ago so I really do not want to up my chances of getting it. Since she died I tried to really change the products I use and try to buy non gmo/organic as much as possible.

My husband always thought IVF seemed so unnatural, screwing with science basically, but he is on board with whatever I decide. We both had the same thought, that maybe being on Birth control pills this month, in preparation of an IVF cycle, might somehow help us when I am done taking them. Last time we conceived when I came off of them; I know this is wishful thinking but it is in both of our minds.

So would love some thoughts on IVF safety and if I should try a cycle knowing I won't be able to try again if it doesn't work. So confused as to what to do.

wow you must have amazing insurance! If you don't mind me asking which one do you have? Have you tried using supps?

I have Oxford/United Healthcare insurance. It is a really great insurance, expensive for the whole family but the coverage is great. Last year there was no deductible on the plan but this policy year I have $1000 deductible but doctor visits and lab work doesn't go to deductible which isn't bad at all. That whole box of meds I got yesterday only cost me $110.00.

I have been taking supplements for 1-1.5 years: Multivitamin, 400mg Ubiquionol, 2000IU Vit D, Omega 3, Astaxanthin, 81 mg aspirin, and extra Folate.

I just did some research and there are 8 states that require IVF be included in certain medical plans. If the company is based in one of those states then the plan may cover it even for employees in other states. Can you talk to the new companies HR department and see what type of plan they will be offering. I am not sure where you live but maybe the new plan would cover it too?? Although probably slim chance I know.

Yes Girlie, I have seen that. I do not live in those states and not sure exactly were the parent company is located. We should be on there payroll around 1/1/17 and will find out more then, at this point we have no contact info for there HR.

And really only management knows about the sale at this point, and we were only told 5 weeks after the sale. They have not told the staff at this point, everything is so up in the air. I all I know is there will be no Christnas party or Christmas bonuses like there have been for the last 18 years. I feel horrible knowing this info and staff being left in the dark until the old owners decide to tell them ( they have a 3 year contract to stay on and run the company).

I would do the round.

I understand you want to avoid things that can increase the risk of cancer. I didn't really want to eat supplements with antioxidants because research shows it accelerates growth of cancer cells, but at the same time I wanted my eggs to be at their best when I was TTC... At the end I decided that the possible reward (a healthy child) was worth the risk and I wouldn't take supps forever. I was also planning IVF due to male factor but we managed to get pregnant on our own a couple months before. My mom also passed away from cancer, but in my case that made me a little braver regarding IVF. I had just seen her go through big surgeries, chemo and so much pain from the cancer so I couldn't let myself be afraid of the IVF meds and needles and side effects because I knew they would be minor compared to what she had to brave through. And at the end of my journey there would hopefully be life and love, not death.
I'm sorry for your loss, it's so unfair.

I would definitely go for it. I feel that most things we do in this modern world are increasing our risks of cancer. I'd go for it and once you're succesfully pregnant you can be the healthiest earth mother you fancy!

I have actually discussed the cancer issue with Dr. Potter himself and we both suspect that this is a coincidence. Women who have not had children are also more likely to develop some kinds of cancer, and women who have certain health issues (some of which are associated with fertility issues) also are. Since most people doing IVF are doing that for infertility and not for gender swaying, this means that the majority of women who have to end up doing IVF may be at a higher risk of developing cancer than the overall population as a whole and that makes it appear to raise risks when it really doesn't.